Charles: Santiago, I know that you hate Halloween, but stick with me, and I promise you, you will love it.
Amy: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?
Jake: "Kind, sober, and fully dressed." Good news, everyone! We found the name of Santiago's sex tape!
Charles: What is all this?
Amy: You know how I think Halloween is for jerks? Well, this Halloween, I was the jerk. I'm sorry about tonight.
Jake: "I'm sorry about tonight." We found the title for Santiago's follow-up sex tape!
Ray: Climbing the side of the building with a blowtorch -- what were you thinking?
Jake: I was thinking I had better core strength. I got winded, like, ten feet up.
Terry: So... I called your school, and I managed to get a hold of one Sister Bernadette.
Rosa: I remember that old bag. She was my favorite.
Hitchcock: Amy paid me fifty bucks to trade places with her for the rest of the night.
Hitchcock: Yeah. I'm going to use that money to buy two suits.
Jake: (while holding multiple pigeons) Captain, hi. I was just photo-copying some stuff.
Ray: Are you trying to jam pigeons into my air conditioning vent to flush me out of my office?
Jake: Way to ruin the surprise.
Terry: Look, Jake, I love you like you're one of my daughters.
Rosa: Can't tell you how many nuns I wanted to beat up in Catholic school. Ten.
Terry: I didn't know you went to Catholic school.
Rosa: Good. You shouldn't know it.