Kitty said that Kevin wanted an orange popsicle, but instead she gave him a red popsicle.
Kevin: Oh my god, look Scotty I can explain everything.
Scotty: Great. How about explaining to me what part of in sickness and in health means leaving me at home with your mother.
Sarah: Look Justin, there's nothing wrong with not having that long-term plan per se.
Tommy: But playing Super Mario Brothers all day long probably shouldn't be your life goal.
Sarah: (talking on the phone to Kevin about Justin) Does he seem OK to you?
Kevin: Yeah, a little crabby maybe. Why?
Sarah: He had a disastrous morning. He was painted a total loser by a class of first graders.
Kevin: I wish that seemed weirder.
Justin: (handing over Kevin's pills) Here.
Kevin: Where's the other one? There's two.
Justin: I just saw the one in the kitchen.
Kevin: Well this is the antibiotic. I need the painkillers.
Justin: Alright, this one will keep you from going septic. Unless you want to go back in the house then man-up. I'm not going back in there.
(Scotty is looking for Kevin's medication.)
Scotty: Are you looking for something?
Justin: Yeah, er... (he looks around) yeah. My trumpet. Here it is.
Scotty: Oh you play?
Justin: Er no.
Scotty: Oh you played growing up?
Justin: Kevin, aren't you supposed to be in bed?
Kevin: I cannot take it any more, OK? I have to get out of here.
Justin: (referring to Nora and Scotty) What about your nurses up there?
Kevin: They think I'm taking a shower. Let's go.
Justin: That's your plan, to run the water and take off?
Kevin: I didn't turn it on.
Justin: Well please tell me you locked the bathroom door. Oh my gosh Kevin, this is like amateur hour. No wonder you didn't have a life in high school.
Kitty: This is crazy, what if it doesn't work?
Robert: I've fired you before.
Robert: You know I should just fire Kevin.
Kitty: Oh yeah, now that's a great idea. You know you should get right on that.
Robert: I'm serious.
Kitty: Robert, you can't hire me just so you can have more sex.
Kitty: Oh wow. That was nice doing that again.
Robert: Again? I think you must be confusing me with a former boss because I don't recall us ever having sex in the office before.
Kitty: I was talking about the part before the sex.
Robert: Oh, discussing immigration reform.
Kitty: Well not the topic but the spirited-
Robert: Exchange of ideas.
Kitty: Verbal wrangling.
Robert: Fervent cogitation.
Kitty: Brain sex.
Kevin: (to Scotty and Nora) I don't care what the doctor said. I just want the two of you to leave me alone right now.
Kevin: Right now.
Nora: Pain pills make him so grumpy.
Scotty: Yes. Pain pills.
Kevin: Remind me why we're here, not in our nice apartment.
Scotty: Because your mother offered and you accepted.
Kevin: I did?
Kevin: You have to admit she does have the PhD in tending to us kids.
Cooper: (talking about Justin to his classmates) What's really cool is Justin gets to live with his mom. He doesn't even have a job. And he doesn't have to go to school or anything. He gets to hang out and play videogames all day.
Kevin: It's weird. I grew up thinking I'd never be a dad.
Scotty: Not that weird. Gay.
Kevin: No, it's not that. It's just I wasn't sure I'd be any good at it. Putting somebody else's needs first all the time.
Nora: (to Roger): My progeny are here by choice. I'm not holding them hostage.
Scotty: (interrupting them): Kevin escaped! He left a note but it doesn't say where he went.
Nora: For God's sakes, I don't know why the two of them don't just shack up and get it over with. I can't believe I have to sit there and listen to this pompous nonsense just because Saul wants a boyfriend.
(on telling Kevin to pull down his pants)
Nora: Don't be silly. It's nothing I haven't seen before.
Scotty: Well hopefully it's nothing you've seen in a long time.
International Episode Titles:
Czech Republic - Sny otce (Father Dreams)
Collar Bone by Fujiya and Miyagi.
Run by Gnarls Barkley.
Can't Go Back Now by The Weepies.
Original International Air Dates:
Norway: Wednesday, April 15, 2009 on TV2
Australia: Monday, April 27, 2009 on Channel 7
Latin America: Wednesday, June 24, 2009 on Universal Channel
Czech Republic: Sunday, May 8, 2011 on Universal Channel
Although credited, Kerris Lilla Dorsey (Paige Whedon), Patricia Wettig (Holly Harper) and Emily VanCamp (Rebecca Harper) do not appear in this episode.
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