Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Darla: (to Angel) Is there anything better than a natural disaster? The panic. The people lost in the streets. It's like picking fruit off the vine. Nice! You're living above ground, like one of them. You and your new friend are attacking us, like one of them. But guess what, precious? You're not one of them, are you?

Joyce: Are you another doctor? Buffy: Oh! No, Mom, this is Mr. Giles. Joyce: Oh, the librarian from your school! What's he doing here? Giles: Uh, I just came to pay my respects, wish you a speedy recovery. Joyce: Boy, the teachers really do care in this town.

Darla: Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is? Buffy: Bad hair on top of that outfit? Darla: To love someone who used to love you. Buffy: (to Angel) You, guys, were involved? Darla: For several generations. Buffy: Well, you been around since Columbus, you are bound to pile up a few exs. You're older than him, right? Just between us girls, you are looking a little worn around the eyes.

Willow: (About Angel) He's not around much, it's true. Buffy: But when he is around, it's like the lights dim everywhere else. You know how it's like that with some guys?

Willow: Okay, here's something I gotta know. When Angel kissed you... I mean, before he turned into... how was it? Buffy: Unbelievable.

The Master: Angel. He was the most vicious creature I ever met. I miss him.

Angel: I just wanted to see if you were okay. And your mother. Buffy: We're both good. You? Angel: If I can go a little while without getting shot or stabbed I'll be alright. Look, this can't... Buffy: ...ever be anything. I know. For one thing, you're, like, two hundred and twenty-four years older than I am. Angel: I just gotta... I gotta walk away from this.

Buffy: I invited you into my home and then you attacked my family. Angel: Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends and their friend's children... For a hundred years I offered an ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.

Buffy: Can a vampire ever be a good person? Couldn't it happen? Giles: A vampire isn't a person at all. It may have the movements, the memories, even the personality of the person it took over, but it's still a demon at the core. There is no halfway. Willow: So that'd be a no, huh?

The Master: I am weary, and their deaths will bring me little joy... Of course, sometimes a little is enough.

Xander: Buffy, come on, wake up and smell the seduction. It's the oldest trick in the book. Buffy: What, saving my life? Getting slashed in the ribs? Xander: Duh!

Willow: So, we're talking about a guy? Buffy: Not exactly a guy. For us to have a conversation about a guy, there'd have to be a guy for us to have a conversation about. Is that a sentence?

Willow: What about Angel? Buffy: Angel? I can just see him in a relationship. "Hi Honey, you're in grave danger, I'll see you next month."

Cordelia: Where did you get that dress? This is a one-of-a-kind Todd Oldham. Do you know how much this dress cost? Is this a knockoff? (checks the label) This is a knockoff, isn't it?! Some cheesy knockoff! This is exactly what happens when you sign these free trade agreements! Buffy: (to Xander) You think we have problems...

Xander: I know you have feelings for this guy, but it's not like you're in love with him, right? (Buffy looks away.) you're in love with a vampire?! What, are you outta your mind?! Cordelia: What?! Xander: (to Cordelia) Not vampire... (to Buffy) How could you love an umpire? Everyone hates 'em!

Buffy: So! What did you do all day? Angel: Uh, I read a little. (Buffy looks over to her diary. It's out of place.) And just thought about a lot of things. Buffy, I... Buffy: My diary? You read my diary? That is not okay! A diary is like a person's most private place! I... You don't even know what I was writing about! Hunk can mean a lot of things, bad things. And, and when it says that your eyes are penetrating, I meant to write bulging. Angel: Buffy... Buffy: And "A" doesn't even stand for Angel for that matter, it stands for... Achmed, a charming foreign exchange student, so that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you at all... Angel: Your mother moved your diary when she came in to straighten up. I watched from the closet. I didn't read it, I swear.

Buffy: Cool! Crossbow! (lifts it out, sees the bolts) Huh. Check out these babies. (takes out a bolt) Hmm. Goodbye stakes, hello flying fatality. What can I shoot? Giles: Um, nothing. The crossbow comes later.

Xander: Buffy, you should stay at my house until these Samurai guys are history. Buffy: What? Xander: Ah-ah-ah, don't worry about Angel, Willow can run to your house and tell him to get out of town fast. Giles: Angel and Buffy are not in any immediate jeopardy. Eventually the Master will send someone else, but in the mean time the Three, having failed, will offer their own lives in penance.

Angel: You even look pretty when you go to sleep. Buffy: Well, when I wake up it's an entirely different story.

Xander: He spent the night? In your room? In your bed? Buffy: Not in my bed, by my bed. Willow: That is so romantic! Did you, uh... I mean, did he, uh... Buffy: (smiling) Perfect gentleman.

Buffy: (Sees tattoo on Angel's back) Nice tattoo. I was lucky you came along. How did you happen to come along? Angel: I live nearby. I was just out walking. Buffy: So, you weren't following me? I just had this feeling you were. Angel: (smiles) Why would I do that? Buffy: You tell me. You're the Mystery Guy that appears out of nowhere. I'm not saying I'm not happy about it tonight, but... if you are hanging around I'd like to know why. Angel: Maybe I like you. Buffy: Maybe...

Cordelia: Ouch! Please get your extreme oafishness off my two-hundred-dollar shoes! Xander: I'm sorry, I was just... Cordelia: ...getting off the dance floor before Annie Vega's boyfriend squashes you like a bug? Xander: Oh, so you noticed. Cordelia: Uh-huh. Xander: Yeah, thanks for being so understanding. Cordelia: Sure.

Angel: When you become a vampire, the demon takes your body, but it doesn't get your soul. That's gone. No conscience, no remorse... It's an easy way to live. You have no idea what it's like to have done the things I've done... and to care. I haven't fed on a living human being since that day.

Willow: Sometimes I have this fantasy that Xander's just gonna grab me and kiss me right on the lips. Buffy: You want Xander, you've gotta speak up, girl! Willow: No, no, no, no. No speaking up. That way leads to madness and sweaty palms.

Willow: Ok, so let's review. Reconstruction began when? ... Buffy? Buffy: Huh? Reconstruction? Uh, Reconstruction began after the... construction... which was shoddy so they had to reconstruct. Willow: After the destruction of the civil war. Buffy: Right. Civil War. During which Angel was already, like, 100 and change.

Xander: ( to Buffy ) All right...Uh, you have a problem, and it's not a small one. Let's take a breath and look at this calmly and objectively. Angel's a vampire. You're the Slayer. I think it's obvious what you have to do.

Xander: Boy, that Cordelia is a regular breath of vile air.

Xander: (to Cordelia) You know, hey I don't know what everyone's talking about... that outfit doesn't make you look like a hooker.

Xander: Guys'll do anything to impress a girl. This one time I drank an entire gallon of Gatorade without taking a breath! Willow: It was impressive! Although later there was an ick factor...

Buffy: Angel? Angel: Hmm? Buffy: Do you snore? Angel: I don't know. It's been a long time since anybody's been in a position to let me know.