Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy: (picking up a pencil and a computer disk) Oh, hey. You dropped this. Willow: (putting the disk into the computer) It's not mine. It might be something of Ms. Calendar's. Buffy: This feels kinda morbid. Willow: I've gone through most of her files already. Buffy: Does that make this less morbid or you really morbid? Willow: I had to. To teach her class.

Angelus: Hello lover. I wasn't sure you'd come. Buffy: After your immolation-o-gram? Come on, I had to show. Shouldn't you be out destroying the world right now, pulling the sword out of Al Franken or whatever his name is? Angelus: There's time enough. I wanted to say goodbye first. You are the one thing in this dimension I will miss. Buffy: This is a beautiful moment we're having. Can we please fight? Angelus: I didn't come here to fight. Buffy: No? Angelus: Gosh, I was hoping we could get back together. What do you think? Do we have a shot...? Alright. We'll fight.

Cordelia: Xander has a point. Xander: You know, just for once I wish you would support me and I realize right now that you were and I'm embarrassed, so I'm gonna get back to the point.

Merrick: There isn't much time, you must come with me. Your destiny awaits. Buffy: I don't have a destiny. I'm destiny free, really. Merrick: Yes you have. You are the Chosen One. You alone can stop them. Buffy: Who? Merrick: The vampires. Buffy: Huh?

Whistler: She's gonna have it tough, that Slayer. She's just a kid. The world's full of big, bad things. Angel: I want to help her. I want... I want to become someone. Whistler: God, jeez, look at you. She must be prettier than the last Slayer. This isn't gonna be easy. The more you live in this world, the more you see how apart from it you really are. And this is dangerous work. Right now, you couldn't go three rounds with a fruit fly! Angel: I want to learn from you. Whistler: Alright. Angel: But I don't want to dress like you. Whistler: Again, you're annoying me. You're lucky we need you on our side.

Buffy: Then Willow might be our only hope. Willow: I don't wanna be our only hope. I crumble under pressure. Let's have another hope.

Xander: Hi! For those of you who've just tuned in, everyone here is a crazy person. So this spell might restore Angel's humanity? Well, here's an interesting angle. Who cares? Buffy: I care. Xander: Is that right? Giles: Let's not lose our perspective here, Xander. Xander: I'm Perspective Guy. Angel's a killer.

Angelus : Tonight were're gonna make history... end.

Kendra: This is my lucky stake, I've killed many vampires with it. I call it Mr. Pointy. Buffy: You named your stake? Kendra: Yes. Buffy: Remind me to get you a stuffed animal.

Buffy: So I'm, like, "Dad, you want me to go to the dance in an outfit I've already worn? Why do you hate me?"

Cordelia: (about Snyder) How about because you're a tiny, impotent Nazi with a bug up his butt the size of an emu?

Cordelia: I think it's great to do that before you go out and fail in the real world. That way you're not falling back on something, you're falling, well, forward. Xander: And almost 65% of that was actual compliment. Is that a personal best? Cordelia: Gee Xander, what are you gonna teach when you fail in life? Advanced loser being? Xander: I will teach zee language of love! Cordelia: Don't touch me! You have fish hands!

Xander: (using his fish sticks as puppets) Tell Angel I'm gonna kill him. No wait! I'm gonna kill you! Die! Die! Die! Ahhh!! Thunk. Mother? Cordelia: That's it? Xander: That's it. Scene. Buffy: It's exactly how it happened. Oz: I thought it was riveting. I was a little unclear about some of the themes. Buffy: The theme is Angel's too much of a coward to take me on face to face. Xander: The other theme was Buy American, but it got kinda buried.

Angelus: What did the moon tell you? Did you have a vision? Is something coming? Drusilla: Oh, Yeah! Something terrible, pss, pss, pss. Angelus: Where? Drusilla: At the museum. A tomb… with a surprise inside. Angelus: You can see that all in your head? Spike: No, you ninny. She read it in the paper.

Spike: Nice walk, pet? Drusilla: I met an old man, didn't like him. He got stuck in my teeth.

Spike: It's a Big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big.

Drusilla: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been two days since my last confession. Father? Angelus: That's not very long. Drusilla: Oh, Father, I'm so afraid. Angelus: The Lord is very forgiving. Tell me your sins. Drusilla: I had … I've been seeing again, Father. Yesterday, the men were going to work in the mine. I had … a terrible fright. My stomach all tied up, and I saw this horrible … crash. My mummy said to keep my peace, it didn't mean nothing. But this morning … they had a cave-in. Two men died. Angelus: Go on. Drusilla: My mum says … I'm cursed. My seeing things is an affront to the Lord, that only he's supposed to see anything before it happens. But I don't mean to, Father, I swear! I swear! I try to be pure in his sight. I don't want to be an evil thing. Angelus: Oh, hush, child. The Lord has a plan for all creatures. Even a Devil child like you. Drusilla: A Devil? Angelus: Yes! You're a spawn of Satan. All the Hail Marys in the world aren't going to help. The Lord will use you and smite you down. He's like that. Drusilla: What can I do? Angelus: Fulfill his plan, child. Be evil. Just give in. Drusilla: No! I want to be good. I want to be pure. Angelus: We all do, at first. The world doesn't work that way. Drusilla: Father … I beg you … Please … Please, help me. Angelus: Very well. Ten Our Fathers and an Act of Contrition. Does that sound good? Drusilla: Yes. Yes, Father. Thank you. Angelus: The pleasure was mine. And my child... Drusilla: Yes? Angelus: God is watching you.

Angelus: There are moments in your life that make you, that set the course of who you're gonna be. Sometimes they're little, subtle moments. Sometimes... they're not. I'll show you what I mean.

Buffy: You know, polite people call before they jump out of the bushes and attack you. Kendra: Just wanted to test your reflexes. Buffy: How about testing my face-punching? 'Cuz I think you'll find it's improved.

Snyder: These public displays of affection are not acceptable in my school. This isn't an orgy, people. It's a classroom. Buffy: Yeah! Where they teach lunch.

Buffy: What happened to Angel wasn't his fault. Xander: Yeah, but what happened to Ms. Calendar is. You can paint this any way you want. But the way I see it is that you wanna forget all about Ms. Calendar's murder so you can get your boyfriend back.