Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Donny: So all these books got spells in 'em? Turn people into frogs, things like that? Xander: Yeah, we're building a race of frog-people.

(Spike punches Tara in the nose and they both react with intense pain) Willow: (angry) Hey! (with dawning realization) Hey... Tara: He hit my nose! Willow: And it hurt! Uh, him, I mean. Buffy: And that only works on humans. Spike: There's no demon in there. That's just a family legend, am I right? Just a bit of spin to keep the ladies in line. Oh, you're a piece of work. I like you. Tara: (softly, to Willow) I'm not a demon. Willow: You're not a demon. Tara: He hurt my nose. Willow: Aw. Spike: Yeah, you're welcome.

Buffy: Nothing like getting your ass kicked to make your ass hurt.

Willow: Good birthday? Tara: Best birthday. Willow: I still can't believe you didn't tell me about your family and all that. Tara: I was just afraid if you saw the kind of people I came from, you wouldn't wanna be anywhere near me. Willow: See ... that's where you're a dummy. I think about ... what you grew up with, and ... then I look at what you are ... it makes me proud. It makes me love you more. Tara: Every time I- even when I'm at my worst ... you always make me feel special. How do you do that? Willow: Magic.

Dawn: This place is so cool. 'Cept I have to wear this stupid stamp on my hand. Xander: That's to keep you from boozing it up. Dawn: Oh please. Only losers drink alcohol.

Dawn: See ya later. Buffy: Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, where do you think you're going? Dawn: I'm going to Melinda's for dinner. Buffy: Since when? Dawn: Nowish. Buffy: You can't. It's not safe for you to walk there. Dawn: It's across the street. What is the big deal, I'm just gonna go... Buffy: No. It's family night. And besides, Melinda's a bad influence. I don't like you hanging out with someone that ... short. Dawn: I am so glad you're moving back into the house. This is the source of my gladness. Buffy: (to Riley) She makes me crazy. Riley: That's kinda the word I was searching for. Buffy: What? She shouldn't be going over there. Riley: Yeah, a lot of young people nowadays are experimenting with shortness.

Buffy: You're a god. You're like the god of boyfriends. Riley: Nah, I just like it when you owe me favors. Buffy: Well, this earns you a big favor. There could be outfits.

Buffy: Your definition of narrow is impressively wide. Giles: Well, you didn't give me much to go on. She-she looks human, so the mug shots aren't any use, and, uh, You can't be more specific about what she's like? Buffy: She was kind of like Cordelia, actually. I'm pretty sure she dyes her hair. Giles: Ah, yes, that one, of course. Our work is done.

Anya: Thank you for coming. We value your patronage. Please come again for more purchases! Giles: Could we perhaps be a little less effusive, Anya? We don't want to frighten the people. Anya: I'm just so excited. They come in, I help them, they give us money in exchange for goods, you give me money for working for you. I have a place in the world now. I'm part of the system. I'm a workin' gal. Giles: Yes. Well, why don't you start organizing the shipping orders? Anya: Oh, no, that's boring. I just want to do the money parts.

Tara: (to Buffy about Glory) You learn her source, and we'll introduce her to her insect reflection. (Everybody gives her a weird look) Th-that was funny if you, um, studied Taglarin mythic rites and, um, are a complete dork. Riley: Then how come Xander didn't laugh? Xander: I don't know that Taglarin stuff.

Anya: (about Buffy) We just helped her move the stuff in a few days ago. (off Buffy's look) And it was fun! Giles: People help each other out, Anya. One of our strange customs. Buffy: Giles, I noticed you're doing the smallest amount of helping that can actually be called "helping." Giles: Well, I saw myself in more of a patriarchal sort of role. You know, lots of pointing and scowling. (to Xander and Riley who are wrestling) You two, stop that. Riley: He started it! Xander: He called me a bad name. I think it was bad. It might have been Latin. Giles: Stop it, or you're going to break something. Buffy: Or I'm going to break something.

Glory: Oh god, please don't tell me I was fighting a vampire slayer! How unbelievably common. If I had friends and they heard about this...

Cousin Beth: Well, I hope you'll all be happy hanging out with a disgusting demon. Anya: Excuse me... what kind? Cousin Beth: What? Anya: What kind of demon is she? There's a lot of different kinds. Some are very, very evil, and some have been considered to be useful members of society.

Buffy: You want her, Mr. Maclay? You can go ahead and take her. You've just got to go through me. Mr. Maclay: What? Buffy: You heard me. You want to take Tara out of here against her will, you've got to come through me. Dawn: And me! Mr. Maclay: Is this a joke? I'm not going to be threatened by two little girls. Dawn: You don't want to mess with us. Buffy: (indicating Dawn) She's a hair-puller. Giles: And you're not just dealing with two little girls. Xander: You're dealing with all of us. Spike: Except me. Xander: Except Spike Spike: I don't care what happens. Mr. Maclay: This is insane. You people have no right to interfere with Tara's affairs. We are her blood kin! Who the hell are you? Buffy: We're family.