Buffy the Vampire Slayer

There are two kinds of "bad" episodes of television. On one hand, there are episodes that fall apart on there own, due to poorly-conceived premises, or mishandled execution. Think "Beer Bad" or "Doublemeat Palace," two episodes which are really quite stupid, but also quite harmless in their own way. They come up, do their thing, and slink off in shame.

Then you have episodes like "Hells Bells." This is the kind of bad which is less obvious, but is in many ways, much, much worse. This is an episode where a story arc goes so off the rails, so completely against itself, that it actually ruins the things that came before and after it. "Hells Bells" is a decent 30 minute episode, with a conclusion so heartbreakingly unnecessary and stupid that it actually threatens a huge chunk of the series as a whole.

I'm referring too, of course, the Anya and Xander break-up. Before this, the episode is a mostly fine combination of tense, but still joyous excitement, mixed with some light humor. Anya practices her vows, in her usual off-kilter, but loveable way. Buffy and Willow joke about their dresses. Spike brings a sleazy looking woman to the wedding to make Buffy jealous. The Harris and Demon clans are dysfunctional.

It's all well and good until an old man comes to the wedding, claiming to be Xander from the future, where Anya and him have become a cranky old married couple. It's everything (we assume) Xander fears, and it causes him to question his decision to marry Anya--even after he learns that the "future" Xander is really a bitter ex-philanderer that Anya had cursed.

All well and good. But then Xander comes back from his long, dark night of the soul and decides that he can't go through with the wedding. And here's where everything falls to pieces.

The problem with Xander and Anya's break-up isn't that it's sad. When Buffy killed Angel at the end of Season 2, or herself at the end of 5, the scenes were sad. But they made sense, and connected with problems the characters had been struggling with for seasons. They were genuine issues of contention that were released and resolved in a fury of emotion, and it was hard not to be legitimately swept up in their power.

There is nothing genuine about Xander and Anya's break-up. For starters, by this point in the season, Xander has been pushed so far to the margins of the show, that it's impossible to discern his motivation for ending the relationship. Furthermore, in the preceding episodes, tensions in Xander and Anya's relationship have not only been attributed too, but also made to look like they were based off of fears of the wedding, rather than the marriage. This means that the two were never growing apart; they were stressed over a big day. And when Xander does go off to have his big revelation, we barely see him struggle with the question; he just kind of wanders off, and comes to this shocking revelation off-screen.

But of course, none of this matters, because this episode is not about Xander and Anya. It's about Buffy, and how she is not allowed to have a "light" at the end of her tunnel. Of course things have to get dark and dreary; this is Buffy Season 6, and that's what we do. Nevermind the strength of Anya and Xanders relationship for 3 seasons; this relationship will be shattered in one moment, one second of doubt because it's the more dismal option for the arc. Xander and Anya's relationship died for our plot.

And in that moment of break, that second where Xander tosses all of his feelings and hopes and dreams aside for one single fear never truly confronted with until now, the entire Xander/Anya sub-plot of seasons 4, 5, and 6 collapses in an unsatisfying, unnatural heap.

It's not that "Hells Bells" doesn't have its moments or isn't heartwrenching. It does and it is. But it cheats. It moves its characters like chess pieces, forcing their motivations and feelings out of place to create a radically different story. In the process, it shreds everything else. Ultimately, it's hard to think of a more cardinal sin for a show like this to commit.

HELLS BELLS

The Good;
Love Buffy's stalling (who knew SMG could juggle?). How beautiful is Anya in her wedding dress? Although her facemask makes her look like some sort of matrimonial superhero?

The Bad;
What a shame we don't get to see Xander and Anya's bachelor/bachelorette parties. Surely all of Anyanka's magic was undone when Giles smashed her necklace. By it's nature a depressing episode due to it's ending.

Best line;
Buffy; "So anyone here from out of town?"

Women good/men bad;
Anya's vows don't promise to obey Xander because he's not a sea Captain (Hello sailor!). Xander's dad has a nastily misogynist rant against his wife in particular and women in general.

Jeez!;
Xander killing Anya which thankfully isn't real

Kinky dinky;
Uncle Rory latches onto a nubile young waitress. Virginal Dawn is offered "Hymen's greetings" by D'Hoffryn. Dawn describes Spike's date as a '"Total skank!". Xander's dad likes Buffy's 'chassis' and wonders what's under the hood? Anya wants to be Xander's 'sex poodle'.

Captain Subtext;
Willow refers to noted bi actress Marlene Deitrich. Will says that Xander looks great in his tux but quickly adds that she realised she was gay. Halfrek and Anya seem to compete for D'Hoffryn's affection like two little girls with their father but he informs them 'I love all my demons equally'. Willow and Tara end up under the table together (and they haven't even been drinking)

Apocalypses; 6

Scoobies in bondage:
Buffy: 8
Giles: 4
Cordy: 5
Will: 3
Jenny: 1
Angel: 4
Oz: 1
Faith: 3
Joyce: 1
Wes: 1
Xander; 1
Dawn; 3

Scoobies knocked out:
Buffy: 17
Giles: 12
Cordy: 6
Xander: 11
Will: 8
Jenny: 2
Angel: 6
Oz: 3
Faith: 1
Joyce: 3
Wes: 1
Anya;3
Dawn; 2

Kills: 1 demon for Xander
Buffy: 104 vamps, 55 demons, 6 monsters, 3 humans, 1 werewolf, 1 spirit warrior & a robot
Giles: 8 vamps, 2 demon, 1 human, 1 god.
Cordy: 3 vamps, a demon
Will: 6 vamps + 3 demons +1 fawn.
Angel: 3 vamps, 1 demon, 1 human
Oz: 3 vamps, 1 zombie
Faith: 16 vamps, 5 demons, 3 humans
Xander: 6 vamps, 2 zombies, 2 a demon,
Anya: 1 vamp and 1 a demon
Riley; 18 vamps + 7 demons
Spike; 8 vamps and 4 demons
Buffybot; 2 vamps
Tara; 1 demon
Dawn; 1 vamp

Scoobies go evil:
Giles: 1
Cordy: 1
Will: 2
Jenny: 1
Angel: 1
Oz: 1
Joyce: 1
Xander: 4
Anya; 1
Dawn; 1

Alternate scoobies:
Buffy: 7
Giles: 4
Cordy: 1
Will: 3
Jenny: 2
Angel: 3
Oz: 2
Joyce: 2
Xander: 4
Tara; 1
Dawn;1
Spike; 1

Recurring characters killed: 11
Jesse, Flutie, Jenny, Kendra, Larry, Snyder, Professor Walsh, Forrest, McNamara, Joyce, Katrina

Sunnydale deaths;
93

Total number of scoobies:
Xander, Willow, Buffy, Anya, Spike,

Xander demon magnet: 5(6?)
Preying Mantis Lady, Inca Mummy Girl, Drusilla, VampWillow, Anya (arguably Buffy & Faith with their demon essences?), Dracula?

Scoobies shot:
Giles: 2
Angel: 3
Oz: 4
Riley; 1

Notches on Scooby bedpost: Spike has a very goth date for the wedding, a parody of the Spikettes?
Giles: 2; Joyce & Olivia, possibly Jenny and 3xDraccy babes?
Cordy: 1?
Buffy: 4 confirmed; Angel, Parker, Riley, Spike. 1 possible, Dracula(?)
Angel: 1;Buffy
Joyce: 1;Giles, 2 possible, Ted and Dracula(?)
Oz: 3; Groupie, Willow & Verucca
Faith:2 ;Xander, Riley
Xander: 2; Faith, Anya
Willow: 2;Oz and Tara
Riley; 3; Buffy, Sandy and unnamed vampwhore
Spike; 1 Buffy

Spike; good or bad?
Tries to make Buffy jealous but eventually leaves with some dignity

Dawn in peril; 8

Dawn the bashful virgin; 7 "Hymen's greeting!"

What the fanficcers thought;
What were the bachelor/bachelorette parties like? Try 'The Last Night'

Questions and observations;
We finally meet Xander's family. Unlce Rory is a drunken letch (Irish coffee for breakfast?) but quite likeable as is cousin Carol and her daughter, his parents by contrast are wretched. Dawn's notoriously big mouth once again makes an appearance. Is the demon right? He was a philanderer but that's hardly worthy of being tortured in hell dimension?
Buffy wears an 'I survived' T-shirt in the final scene with what looks like a dragon on it? (although technically she didn't survive the dragon, she died and was brought back). What about Giles? Surely he at least sent them a card? What about inviting Tito or Oz or anyone?
One interesting theory I did hear is 'Was D'Hoffryn behind it all?'. Did he secretly want Anya back in the fold and bring the demon to ruin her wedding deliberately?
Marks out of 10; 5/10 not too good

Hell's Bells-The day of the wedding has finally come and Xander and Anya are preparing for the hoards of guests. While Xander's screwed up human family go head to head with Anya's demon friends, an unexpected guest approaches Xander to warn him that his life with Anya may not turn out to be the married bliss he has hoped for.

The day's finally here! Anya and Xander's wedding day! But in typical Buffy fashion this season, it's a complete trainwreck. The build-up toward that moment is pretty hilarious, from Buffy and Willow's horror over their bridesmaid's dresses, to meeting Xander's miserable family to Anya's over the top demon clans, I especially loved the moment where D'Hoffryn and Halfrek arrive at the wedding with the wedding gift that moves once Dawn has it in her hand. Then you have Anya telling Tara her inappropriate vows and Xander's father shamelessly hitting on Buffy. All of it is good stuff, leading to the moment where Xander runs into what appears to be his future self. The vision of the future that Xander is truly disturbing, I have to give Nicholas Brendan and Emma Caulfield a lot of credit here, not just for the flashforward vision scenes but throughout the whole episode. It's probably the finest performances they've ever done on the series. I really felt sorry for both of them here. My favorite moment is without a doubt is while Anya once again goes over her vows, we see Xander walking alone through the rain. It's a heartbreaking image only to be topped by the revelation that this set-up was all a ploy by some demon from Anya's past seeking revenge.

I have to say while Anya and Xander being forced apart was hard to watch but I have to admit, I wish it wasn't simply some demon of the week plot that was the reason behind it. I think thepossibilityof Xander's future self actually coming back and telling all his fears of marriage were right and he has to stop himself from one day hurting Anya would have added a little bit more weight to the episode. Maybe having a scene of future Xander telling Anya he's sorry and showing Anya before he left he was really Xander would have been a brilliant moment. But still what we got here was pretty tragic none-the-less, Xander breaking it off with Anya just hurts to watch, especially her walking down the aisle a complete mess. I also loved the rest of the gangs's reactions. All oft hem had so much hope for Anya and Xander, especially Buffy who was looking to them to find purpose in her life again by seeing how one day, these would be okay, but now it's not. I really don't blame Anya at the end when D'Hoffryn offers her to be a Vengeance demon again. It's dark ending, but not unexpected given the situation. Overall, Another strong character arc moving episode, while I still don't exactly like the "demon seeking revenge" twist, there is some strong performances from Nick and Emma as well as some genuine funny moments, like Spike's white-trash girlfriend as well as touching little moments like Willow and Xander's little talk before the wedding.

This is the episode that makes it very difficult for me to ever like Xander completely.



I get tears in my eyes every time I see the scene where Anya is in her wedding dress and she tells Willow and Tara how excited and lucky she to be able to spend the rest of her life with Xander - her best friend.



I just found the episode to be...very undesirable to watch and I actually never watch past the part where Anya is trying on her dress. There really doesn't seem to be much else that happens other than seeing Xander come to terms with his possible inadequacies.



I can appreciate the fact that this introduces a new turn in Anya's life and leads the way for some interesting episodes in the future, but I just get terribly disgusted with Xander and realize that, once again, I expected too much from his character. He does have some good moments in the series, but this episode really lowers my esteem of him.

The dresses were bad. Anya acts dumb. Xander even more so. Here\'s a man who has little and acts like if he gets married his life will get even worse. All the family members scenes were horrible. Buffy is my fav show of all time, but everytime I get to this episode, since I watch it order, I now start checking e-mail and doing anything online while watching because it\'s mostly boring and painful. The spike with a girl thing is lame. I think how willow and tara giggle during the dress scene is cute, but I will never really like the episode because I will always want to see the episode changed to have Xander and Anya get married. Instead they used this episode as a way to get Anya back into vengence. Really they could have found a way to do that even if they did get married.

Wow, what an episode. Almost cried myself. That demon totally deserved some Spike Torture for what he did to Anya and Xander's wedding. I was pretty surprised that Spike came, although Buffy was there, so it's no real shock.



Man, Xander's family totally bites. Well, except for Aunt Carol. She's pretty cool. Especially when she was checking out that Demon Guy. That idiot really put Xander's fears in front of him. I could see why he didn't want to get married to Anya, even after they got rid of that demon. He doesn't want to turn into his dad, which really, I'd beat him for it.

This Episode was touching, sad and hurtful, i cant believe that Xander would do that! i felt so sorry for Anya crying her way down the alter to meet no one, cause as she knew that Xander had already left. What happens is xander meets this old guy and the old guy said that it was him "from the future" and shows him a fake vision of his "future" and that he will hurt Anya if he marries her. Because he thinks he will hurt Anya, he runs off to come back and see that the old guy was actruly a deamon from Anya's past trying to hurt Anya the same way she hurt him (or something along those lines) and then they kill him... bla bla bla. Then Xander and Anya talk and Xander doesnt want to go through with it anyway because he is not ready and they end up not getting married...



I Think that Xander played his role soooo well in this ep. he was awsome! I also think that what buffy said was So Kul! She Says at the start to Xander that Anya and him getting married, shows that there is hope and light at the end of a long hurtful and hard tunnel then at the end of the show she says that maybe they weren't a light they were just a train... I luved it 10/10 on this ep.. it was truly AwSoMe! Watch it!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is sinking and is sinking fast. The show definitely jumped the shark with the fantastic season five finale, and that special, undefinable something has withered now. Xander and Anya are getting married, and Xander's mortal family and Anya's demonic friends come together for the ceremony. Unfortunately, a mysterious man appears out of nowhere and spawns sincere doubt in Xander whether he should go through with marrying Anya.



This episode is rather tedious. Like any past episode that focused on Xander, this one never really 'breaks through', never has me emotionally invested. Xander's and Anya's relationship has never really been a serious matter (inasmuch as their sole function for the last seasons has been to provide comic oneliners) and it has never had the depth necessary for this episode's plot to have profound effect. Both Emma Caulfield and Nicholas Brendon are good, but the episode would have worked much, much better with e.g. Willow and Tara or Buffy and (insert lover). Buffy is a drag in this episode, downright embarrassing in her attempts to stall the wedding guests, and Willow's sudden 'Aww, my best friend Xander is getting married'-scene doesn't work, mostly as the two of them haven't really had any form of bonding for the last years, like they initially had. The guest characters are annoying, mr Harris being downright infuriating, without any real purpose other than giving the episode color. The whole 'demons as circus freaks'-excuse was lame and the humor didn't work, and the 'Xander from the future' could have worked if the writers hadn't made him a lying demon out on a vengeance. Not my favourite episode of Buffy, but, as I say, this show is also sinking fast. Only thing slightly interesting is the possibility of Anya going evil again.

I loved the beginning when Buffy and Willow were freaked out about the dresses they had to wear and Anya coming in and saying how beautiful they looked added to the amusement.



Xander's family was crazy. I loved how Xander's checklist was to keep his parents away from the alcohol. Xander's dad was horrible when he was coming onto Buffy, b*tching about his wife, and Anya's demon friends. I wanted to hit that man.



I loved when Xander was searching for his cufflinks it was funny that his aunt was wearing them as earrings. Even then you could tell that Xander's family was insane. I was routing for Anya and her demon friends.



I can't believe that, that demon guy was trying to show Xander the fake future. It was obvious that something was going to go wrong but the demon guy showing Xander that future was horrible.



It was great to see Willow and Tara together here. They were so cute when they were helping Anya get into her dress and listening to her practice her vows. This one made you believe that maybe they'd get back together.



I loved how hard everyone was working to prevent Anya from knowing Xander had spilt. I hated that torn up look that Anya had after hearing that. Buffy's lie was just awful though I can't believe Anya fell for that. I loved Buffy and the one demon trying to juggle and keep everyone entertained. I loved everyone fighting too.



The scene with Spike and Buffy was beautiful too. I loved Spike's attempt at making Buffy jealous. The two of them talking was cute and made up for a lot of the crazy sex they had throughout the season.



I hated seeing Anya crying at the end it was so sad. I did enjoy the fact that she was offered her old job as a vengeance demon back.



This was such an amazing episode but so incredibly sad because Anya and Xander were supposed to be the couple that made it.

So, after almost a whole series of Xander the grown-up, Xander the supportive, Xander the mature, here we see the Xand man reverting to his previous immaturity and throwing in some treachery for good measure. Willow and Buffy and their respective partners have been through pain pain pain, and it's about time Xander and Anya had some too. Buffy may think that they give her hope, but she is about to find out that suffering is still part of everyday life in Sunnydale.



The episode starts off in a comic vein with Anya's bridezilla moments, her daft vows, and the evil bridesmaid dresses. Buffy-the-bridesmaid claims that "we must share equally in the cosmic joke that is bridesmaidsdom", but it really looks like SMG refused to wear the long sleeved version of the hideous frocks that Tara and Willow are clothed in. But the ep ends up darkly depressing, hinted at when the thunder sounds as Anya declares today to be "the happiest day of my life". We finally meet Xander's awful family, his bullying dad, neurotic mother and Uncle Rory - he of the whores and booze and fast cars and taxidermy. He seems to have forgiven Xander for wrecking his Chevy back in S3 (maybe he was too drunk to notice). The white trash do not get on with Anya's "circus folk" and one of the themes of S6 - humans behaving demonically and demons having humanity – is explored. This is seen in the behaviour of Spike who, although he has brought a date to the wedding to annoy Buffy, treats the slayer with respect and kindness, and she responds in the same vein. He can finally hang with her friends, although he chooses not to in order to spare Buffy the pain of seeing him with another woman. Meanwhile, Willow and Tara are giggling and flirting. Even Dawn is chatting to a teen boy demon. It's only the bride and groom, who don't even see each other until the end of the ep, whose love life is crashing down around their ears.



The episode relies on the viewer forgetting that all of Anya's spells were neutralised by Giles in The Gift - Stewart Burns must have slipped through the net in order to wait and plan to ruin Anya's life at the right moment. It's very apt that he shows up at their wedding, like a jealous ex-boyfriend determined to ruin the party. And the visions that the demon shows to Xander are not a mere glamma: the swirly orb taps into Xander's fears – his "nightmare vision of [his] future". Anya cannot escape her past and Xander feels that he can't avoid this version of the future.



It's interesting that Buffy is the one of the causes of marital breakdown in the visions. Has Xander not got over his teen crush on her? He certainly seems to fear her death. I think that, just as Buffy's attachment to her friends makes her stronger than other slayers, Xander being part of the Scooby gang makes him different to his family; he has a purpose that they don't possess. Take Buffy away and he becomes a true Harris; violent, depressed and drunk. It's not marriage to Anya that Xander truly fears, it's becoming his father. It's horribly ironic that what Anya thought love was comes true, in both Xander's vision and at the end of the episode, just as Anya is "finally getting love". She was right the first time: there's wedding – then betrayal. But after Buffy's attempt to assuage the congregation with comedy and juggling acts, and impressing them by fighting the demon whilst hobbling in her silly dress and heels, it still seems as if there is going to be a happy ending. Heck, even Willow's been nice to Anya today. But Xander, after having had months to think about marital bliss, declares: "I'm not ready". In the end, it's he and not the demon who stops the wedding. As Anya makes her terrible walk of shame up the aisle alone, even Anya haters must sympathise with her. Even Willow is generous in Anya's defeat: "It hurts my heart just to think of her." From "I'll Never Tell" to Tell Everybody: Anya's been jilted. It affects everyone - Buffy's faith in humanity has been broken: "They were supposed to be my light at the end of the tunnel". She has now even more reason for misery. But Anya's heart has ceased to hurt. She sits like a classical antiquity as D'Hoffryn overlooks the fact that he previously refused her re-entry to the demon fold: Anya is ripe for vengeance.

The thing I love about this show is its ability to take real life dilemmas and develop them on screen with a supernatural approach. Xander's fears and anxieties about marriage are not only expected but they're completely justified. Xander is still young and barely entering adulthood, while Anya is an ex demon with a violent past. And aside from being from two completely different worlds, they also have to deal with their dysfunctional families fighting eachother. Xander had reservations about getting married from the start and his glimpse into his future with Anya (although it turned out to be fake) could still very well happen and that completely terrified him. The vision that Xander saw displayed some common fears that most people do have about marriage, like unemployment and domestic disputes.



This episode played on Xander's fears about marriage by showing him a vision of the things he feared the most. And even though he found out the vision was fake, it still terrified him enough to leave Anya at the alter. This episode was well written and executed beautifully. However witnessing a great tv couple like Anya and Xander come to an end was depressing and heartbreaking all at once. Definitely one of my top 3 favorite episodes from season 6.

Hell's Bells was a perfect and classic episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer's sixth season. I love this episode because we get to see lots of familiar faces as well as new ones. This episode had classic elements of the series, such as be careful what you say, Xander! He says nothing on Earth will stop this wedding, and behold some thing from another time or dimension interferes with the days events by showing Xander a possible future outcome. It was fun to watch the back and forth between Xander's family and Anya's family and friends. It was heart breaking to see how the episode ended, but the episode had a wide spectrum of emotion between all the characters. There was some action, drama, and of course humor. This episode is definitely a highlight of the season!!!!!

I really really LOVE this episode. It is super sad of course, but STILL, the demon showing up with the grudge, playing on all Xander's worst fears. When i saw this, my sister was like, i don't get it, why call it off if it's all fake? Xander had been worried about thios for a LOOOONG time. To have everything play out before him like his worst nightmare... he loved Anya to much to risk that. And that scene with Anya woking on her vowels. Brings tears to my eyes. Not to metion the sweet sparkage between Spike and Buffy. Its really the first time you really realize, and she really admits her feelings or him.

Overall a sweet episode, with romance, sadness, and little electric moments everywhere.

On the day of Xander and Anya's wedding much has to be overcome. Xander and Anya's feuding families and demon, Xander's drunken and crude father, and a myseterious man who claims to be from the future telling Xander he can't marry Anya. This man also claims to be Xander Harris from the future and shows Xander somre pretty horrible visions of what will come to pass if he marries Anya. They scare him so much that he runs away, leaving Anya in the lurch and the wedding guests in a brawl. Thankfully though, Xander returns just as the man reveals himself to be a man Anya cursed long ago in her days as a vengeance demon. Unfortunately, though they defeat this demon it isn't enough for Xander. He leaves Anya telling her that even though the visions aren't real they could be and he doesn't ever want to hurt her that way, like his parents hurt eachother. He leaves her at the alter.

The episode isn't perfect, but it's fun and it was unpredictable. It was really funny to meet Xanders family and Anya's friend and how they fight each other. On the other hand I felt really bad for Buffy, tara and Willow, those bridesmaid dresses were...not that nice.

Then the most important storyline, the feelings Xander have are understandable but he could have figured that out sooner, because it's heartbreaking to see Anya walk to the altar crying. It was devastating, especially after hearing Anya's speech about love.

Hell's Bells



This was one of the best and heartbreaking episodes of the show. It made me love Xander and love Anya even more. He did the right thing because he had doubts, the flashes of his future were brilliant and the walk of Anya is heartbreaking, Emma did her best job in this episode, man that woman can act. The entire episode was superb and the only annoying thing were Xander's parents.



Cut to Buffy and Willow in the bridesmaid clothes and they think it's ugly. They say that the parents of Xander fight with the family of Anya. Then comes Anya in and she thinks that they look pretty and hugs them and says that it's her happiest day of her whole life. Cut to Xander and his family and they are all fighting. Xander says that nothing can stop his wedding. Cut to an old man appearing out of nothing.



the credits start



Cut to Buffy and Xander and he has his tux but it doesn't fit. Buffy is happy for him and cries and says that him and Anya give her hope. Cut to Willow and Tara putting on Anya's dress and she is practising what she’s gonna say in the wedding. They look at the dress and say that she looks lovely. She says that she gets to be with her best friend forever. Cut to the wedding and all the guests are coming in and one of them is Halfrek and she wants Dawn to wish different but D'Hoffrik tells her to take a brake. Then comes Spike with a date and Dawn doesn't like her cause she is a skank. Cut to the families talking and Xander's family make fun of Anya's family. Cut to the weird old man coming in.



Then cut to Xander and Buffy and he s ready to get married. Dawn comes to them and she tells Buffy about Spike's date and Xander goes inside. Everyone talks to Xander and then an old man takes him and tells him not to get married. The old man tells him that he is him from the future. Cut to The old man taking Xander to a room and he is going to show him what he felt in the future. Cut to a room where he is watching tv and his kids and fighting and Anya comes and she is going out and Anya says that Buffy died. Cut to a dinner later and Xander's kids continue fighting and Anya had cheated. Cut to later again where Anya and Xander are fighting again and she says that she hates herself for marrying him and he grabs a pan to hit her.



Xander is out again and he is scarred of what he did. The old man says that some people only bring each other pain. Cut to the party and Buffy goes over to Spike, Buffy says that he is trying to make her jealous and she says it's working a little. Buffy says that he has the right to be there but he says that he will go over to his place. Then Spike leaves with his skank. Cut to Xander in the kitchen and Willow comes over to him. Thy hug and say they look good and that they love each other. Cut to Anya doing her vows to Tara and then the music begins but Willow goes to Buffy and says that Xander disappeared. Buffy says that the minister is a docter and has to deliver a birth. Then Anya does her vows and that she wants to married Xander because she loves him. Xander walks outside in the rain and she says that he made her feel safe and warm and that she finally gets love.



The families begin to be bored and the father says it's about Anya. Then Buffy begins to stall. Cut to Dawn talking to someone and she says that everyone is messed up and then she tells him that Xander is gone and Anya heard it. Everyone also hears it when Anya repeats it. Then the families begin to fight and Willow saves Tara. Anya goes to the old man and asks if he has seen Xander. The old man says that Xander left because of her and then he changes into a demon. He says that she ruined his life because she punished him. he says that he scared Xander with his nightmare vision and he says it was easy and she begins to cry and wants to hear her scream. Buffy comes there to fight him and then Xander enters and Anya goes over to Xander and says that it was all lies.



Buffy is fighting the demon and she tries to choke him but Xander kills him. The father of Xander begins again and then they begin to fight again but Anya tells them to sit down. She talks to Xander and says that he's dead and it was fake what he saw and he knows. He says that he isn't ready, he says that he knows it wasn't real but it could be and he says that he wasn't hating her. He says he doesn't want to hurt her tat way and he is sorry and then she walks to the place where they were gonna marry and he leaves. Anya walks back and she is entirely broken. Cut to home and they say it hurts them and Buffy says that they were her bright tunnel. Willow hopes that Xander is ok. Cut to Xander in the hotel and cut to Anya in a place with D'Hoffrin and she is just tired of crying. He says that it was time for her to be a vengeance demon again and she looks up.



Black Out

----------

Best episode quotes:



Cousin Carol: You know that guy Kevin? If he could clear up the skin problem... do you think... Do you suppose he'd date a woman with a kid? I mean, I really can't afford to be very picky.

Xander: Cousin Carol? Your earrings are my cufflinks.

Cousin Girl: They are? Oh my. Oops.



Xander: Is it too small?

Buffy: Nah.

Xander: It fit when I picked up the tux. How could it not fit now?

Buffy: It'll fit.

Xander: Aw, man, what if it doesn't? What if I can't wear my cummerbund, and then the whole world can see the place where my pants meet my shirt? Buffy, that can NOT happen. I must wear das cummerbund!

Buffy: And so... you... shall!

Xander: Hey, you got it!

Buffy: Slayer strength.

Xander: And I've been meaning to cut back on that habit-forming oxygen.

Buffy: Look at you. You look great, Mr. About-To-Get-Married. Glowing. Oh my god! Maybe you're pregnant!

Xander: Maybe. I dunno. Maybe I'm just happy. Teary.

Buffy: Oh! Good. Good teary.

Xander: Happy teary? Not frustrated with bow-tie teary?

Buffy: Yes. Happy. Happy for you. That makes me happy for me. You and Anya give me hope. It's like ... you two are proof that there's light at the end of this very long, long, nasty tunnel. And, I cannot tie this tie. Isn't, where's your best man, isn't she supposed to do this?

Xander: Well, she said she had something important to do.



Willow: Want me to hold it shut for you?

Tara: O-okay.

Anya: Are you guys even listening? I need feedback, people.

Tara: Sorry. Please continue with the vows.

Anya: 'I, Anya, promise to ... love you, to cherish you, ...to honor you, uh, but not to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something? However, I do entrust you with...’ What? Is something funny?

Tara: No, n-nothing, sweetie, just, just keep still.

Anya: Okay. Blah, blah, blah, misogynistic. Blah, blah, 'I do however entrust you ... um, with my heart. Take care of my heart, won't you please? Take care of it because, it's all that I have. And, if you let me, I'll take care of your heart too. I'll protect it and tend to it, like a little stray.' Wait, no. 'Like a, a little mangy stray that needs a home.' No, that's not it either.

Tara: Um... I think we're all set here. Let's ... take a look at you. Oh.

Willow: Wow. You look lovely. Really... lovely.

Anya: Thanks. It's probably the blush of imprudent spending. Do you think Xander will like it? Oh, I want to see Xander now!

Willow: You can't. It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress, remember?

Anya: Right. I can't keep all these ridiculous traditions straight. What if I'm not wearing my dress when I see him? Okay, no sex. Cuddling? Okay. It's just I'm so excited and I want to share it all with my best friend. I get to be with my best friend forever! Yay!



Xander: How do I look?

Buffy: Well, let's see. Found your shoes ... your fly's zipped. I'd say you look like you're ready to get married. You're one of the decent ones, Xander. I hope I'm as lucky as you guys someday.

Xander: You wanna get lucky? I've still got, what, fifteen, twenty minutes?

Buffy: Oh! All right. Into the breach with you.

Xander: Okay, breach me. Now, let's go over the list one more time. Number one?

Buffy: Don't let your dad near the bar.

Xander: Check. Number two?

Buffy: Don't let your mom near the bar.

Xander: Check.



Mr. Harris: Hey, what's this?

Buffy: You must be so happy for Xander on his very special, once-in-a-lifetime day, huh, Mr. Harris?

Mr. Harris: Nice chassis, what's under the hood? Rrowr!

Buffy: You know, I could use a strong cup of coffee. Hey, let's get you one too, what do you say?

Mr. Harris: Did you used to own a little square pinkish purse?

Buffy: I did.

Mr. Harris: I thought so. Hey, what do you say we slip in the back room and I show you my-

Buffy: You finish that sentence and I guarantee you won't have anything to show.



Anya: What.

Xander: You going out again?

Anya: I'm doing a make-over party.

Xander: thought you hated those.

Anya: Well, one of us has to make some money.

Xander: Well, what do you want me to do, Anya? Huh? I can't work. My back is shot.

Anya: And whose fault is that?

Xander: Oh, no no no. Not the Buffy thing again.

Anya: You had no business fighting demons with her.

Xander: Buffy needed me. I had to help.

Anya: Well, it didn't save her, did it? All it did was ruin our lives. I'll be late.

Xander: I hope you crash in your stupid pink car!



Xander: What?

Sarah: I hate this place. You guys know I don't eat wheat.

Josh: You don't eat anything, freak.

Sarah: At least I'm not a mama's boy.

Josh: At least I'm not a demonic freak.

Sarah: Dad, make him cut it!

Xander: Maybe you should talk to your mother about that.

Anya: You've had too much wine.

Xander: Have I? I'm just saying maybe you should talk to your daughter!

Sarah: Ohh, I hate you guys! And I know that you're not my real dad, and I hate you, I hate you both! I wish you'd die!

Josh: This sucks.



Xander: If you were so unhappy, why didn't you just leave?

Anya: I wanted to. I should have!

Xander: Yeah, you should have. 'Cause then maybe I would have gotten some touch in the past twenty years.

Anya: I wasn't the one who stopped touching!

Xander: Oh! Maybe, but you weren't touching me!

Anya: What did you expect me to do? You wouldn't come near me after Buffy-

Xander: Don't bring her into this!

Anya: Fine. Forget her. Maybe you were just born to be a bitter, angry old man.

Xander: Shut up.

Anya: No! I want my life back! If I hadn't married you I wouldn't have had to hate myself for the last thirty years!

Xander: Shut UP!



Old Man: I'm so sorry. I didn't want to show you.

Xander: What happened? What was that?

Old Man: A glimpse of your future. Harnessed ... by magic.

Xander: Is she okay? Is she okay, what did I do?!

Old Man: Listen. I don't have long here. The spell that brought me back, it won't last But you can change things. It doesn't have to go like this. But you can't marry Anya.

Xander: But-

Old Man: You'll hurt her less today than you will later. Believe me. Sometimes, two people ... all they bring each other ... is pain.



Spike: Hello, Buffy.

Buffy: Hey.

Spike: It's a happy occasion. You meet my friend?

Buffy: No. Not yet. But she seems like a very nice attempt at making me jealous.

Spike: Is it working?

Buffy: A little. It doesn't change anything ... but if you're wildly curious, yeah, it hurts.

Spike: I'm sorry. Or, Good! You want us to go?

Buffy: No. No, I ... you have every right to be here. I pretty much deserve-

Spike: That's not true, you... God, this is hard.

Buffy: Yeah.

Spike: I think we'll go.

Buffy: Go where? To your place?

Spike: Yeah, I suppose. That was the idea.

Buffy: Yeah.

Spike: Evil.

Buffy: Of course.

Spike: But I won't. Or I... I'll just go. Give 'em my best or whatever. The happy couple.

Buffy: I will.

Spike: It's nice to watch you be happy. For them, even. I don't see it a lot. You, uh... you glow.

Buffy: That's because the dress is radioactive. I should...

Spike: Yeah. But it hurts?

Buffy: Yeah.

Spike: Thanks.

Buffy: You're welcome.



Willow: I'll say this for the Y chromosome ... looks good in a tux.

Xander: Well, your double X's don't look too bad there, either.

Willow: You're getting married. My little Xander.

Xander: All growed up.

Willow: It's a good thing I realized I was gay, otherwise, hey, you, me and formal wear... Do you know how much I love you?

Xander: Mmm ... 'bout half as much as I love you.

Willow: You ready for the long walk?

Xander: Um ... yeah, just give me a sec, I wanna work on my vows.

Willow: Take your time. It's not like we can start the wedding without you.



Anya: 'I, Anya, promise to cherish you...' Ew, no, not cherish. Uh, 'I promise...to have sex with you whenever ... I want, and, uh... uh, pledge to be your friend, and your wife, and your confidant, and your sex poodle...'

Tara: Uh, sex poodle?

Anya: Yeah, why?

Tara: Um, I'm not sure you should say 'sex poodle' in your vows.

Anya: Huh.



Buffy: Uh, heh, sorry about that. Um... there's just gonna be a little bit of a delay.

Anya: Why? What's wrong?

Buffy: Nothing! Nothing's wrong, it's just, um, it, the, the, minister. He had, uh ... to go ... and perform an emergency C-section.

Anya: A C-section?

Buffy: Yeah! You know, he's, uh, not, not just a minister, he's also a, a doctor. You know, he's half-minister, half-doctor, he's a-a mini-tor. Not, of course, to be confused with a minotaur! Because he's all, you know, man, this doctor minister man, no, no bull parts whatsoever.

Anya: Uh-huh.

Buffy: So it, it should just be a couple of minutes.

Anya: Okay. Okay. For the last time. 'I, Anya, want to marry you, Xander, because ... I love you and I'll always love you. And ... before I knew you, I was like a completely different person. Not even a person, really...and I had seen what love could do to people, and it was ... hurt and sadness. Alone was better. And then, suddenly there was you, and ... you knew me. You saw me, and it was this ... thing. You make me feel safe and warm. So, I get it now. I finally get love, Xander. I really do.'



Anya: I mean, I am sorry, but what the hell is that minister thinking?

Tara: Uh, I don't know, he-

Anya: I mean, delivering a baby! On my special day! I mean, it's totally rude of him and the mother. I mean, why couldn't he have just told her to hold it?



Anya: You. You were talking to Xander right before he left. What did he say to you? What did you say to him?

Old Man: Really doesn't matter now, does it? It's done.

Anya: What's done? Did you... If you said something to make him leave...

Old Man: You'll what? Haven't changed a bit. Still as vindictive as ever.

Anya: Do I know you?

Old Man: You don't recognize me, Anya? I'm not the man I used to be. I know.

Buffy: Guys! Will you break it up?

Anya: Xander. Where is he? You tell me, old man! You tell me why he left!

Old Man: He left because of you.

Anya: I didn't do anything.

Old Man: Oh, really? What about this?

Anya: Tell me what you did with Xander. What are you?

Demon: You did this. You brought this on. I've waited a long time for this, Anyanka.

Anya: Who are you?

Demon: Remember Chicago? South Side, 1914? Stewart Burns. Philanderer! You'd think you'd remember. I remember you. But then again, you ruined my life.

Anya: You were a ... I punished you.

Demon: That's right. Some hussy I'd been taking around summons you, next thing I know, I look like this and I'm being tortured in another dimension.

Anya: I forgot.

Demon: Well, I didn't.

Buffy: Anya!

Demon: Every day I remembered ... and every day I thought how I would somehow get here, and ruin your life like you ruined mine. It didn't take much either. I scared off your fiance with a couple of phony visions.

Anya: Visions of what?

Demon: Your future. Or his nightmare vision of your future.

Anya: That's it? That's all you did?

Demon: Yeah, it was easy. Look at that, you're crying. Oh, I like that.

Anya wipes at her face with her hands.

Anya: Stop it.

Demon: Oh, cry, Anyanka, cry. I love to see you cry. And now, I'd love to see you scream.



Anya: You know, it's bad luck to see me in my dress. Hey. It's okay. It's all over now, he's dead, and it was just smoke and mirrors.

Xander: I know.

Anya: So ... we're ready now. Let's get married.

Xander: I... I'm not. I'm not ready. I can't, Ahn, I'm sorry.

Anya: But it wa - it wasn't real. What he showed you, it wasn't real.

Xander: I know it wasn't real. But it could be.

Anya: What was it? Was it about me? 'Cause he wanted you to hate me, Xander.

Xander: It wasn't you. It wasn't you I was hating. I had these thoughts, and ... fears before this. Maybe we just went too fast.

Anya: Look, everybody has thoughts. It's natural, it doesn't mean that, that getting married is wrong.

Xander: I know, I know...

Anya: Look, you're just shaken up, okay? You just calm down and we'll start over, okay?

Xander: We can't start over. If this is a mistake, it's forever, and ... I don't want to hurt you. Not that way.



Dawn: Should we do something for her? Anything?

Willow: She wants to be alone. That's what she wants. Oh, god, it just hurts my heart to think of her.

Buffy: I know. The whole thing hurts my heart.

Dawn: I thought they were happy.

Buffy: They were. I know they were. They were supposed to be my light at the end of the tunnel. I guess they were a train.

Dawn: Why did this happen?

Willow: I don't know. I feel like I should be hating Xander. But I can't. I just ... I just hope he's okay.

Dawn: I wonder where he is.



D’Hoffrin: Are you okay?

Anya: I'm tired of crying. I'm just so tired, D'Hoffryn.

D’Hoffrin: Oh, Anyanka. I'm sorry. But you let him domesticate you. When you were a vengeance demon, you were powerful, at the top of your game. You crushed men like him. It's time you got back to what you do best ... don't you think?



----------

Story: 10

Acting: 10

Writing: 10

Picture: 10

Gripping: 10

My Rank: 10

----------

Total: 10

This should have been one of the highlights of the series, considering the important nature of the storyline. Sadly, it's not.



Xander's future self shows up to tell him not to marry Anya. He says "I'll prove it to you"--but then he doesn't. He doesn't know anything from Xander's past that only Xander could know; he can't tell Xander what he's thinking. He can only show Xander a bunch of disturbing visions in which Xander finally abuses his spouse. Are we having fun yet?



What should have been a great twist about Future Xander is all too obvious from the outset.



But let's get back to the wedding. Or let's not, as the in-laws are all lame cliches from a hundred bad sitcoms. Remember when Buffy (the show) used to subvert our expectations about characters?



For not the first time (or the last) this season, Buffy is given nothing interesting to do in the climax. In what may be Sarah Michelle Gellar's most embarrassing hour, she's forced to do bad standup while stalling the wedding guests.



This wedding was washed up even before Xander walked away.

Perhaps one of the most upsetting episodes in all of Buffydom, Hell's Bells gives the viewer a look into the fears of Xander, the association he fears between himself and his father, and how truly tragic a bride's maid dress can be. As the first quarter of the show begins, we see the normal apprehensions before the ceremony: a nervous groom, an anxious bride, family and guests who seem intent on ruining the day, and a lurking Buffy-esque presence that is sure to cause mayhem, even in geriatric form. Xander gets a look into what he believes is the future marriage between he and Anya, realizing that his fears would come true. It appears that he may be as cold, abrasive, and as relentlessly alcoholic as his father. Of course this turns out to be only an illusion created by a foe of Anya's with whom she was acquainted during her vengeance days. Buffy is kept busy by tyring to stall the family and guests of the wedding as Xander has disappeared after gazing into his faux future. I was not aware of Sarah Michelle Gellar's abilities of charades and juggling. As the demon is revealed to the characters, Xander returns as Buffy and he destroy the monster. And then the heartbreak. Anya tells Xander that what he saw wasn't real, however Xander, characteristically afraid, disregards her words and woefully declines to wed her. As she walks solo down the aisle in tears, we see Xander check into a motel. In the final moments of the show, Anya is offered her old position as a Vengeance Demon. It's nice to see that, in Buffy, even after the bad guy is killed, things still aren't OK. I, by no means, am a sadist and would have loved to see Xander and Anya finally marry, and I had a hard time liking his character for a while after. Xander did what he thought was right, what he thought was the adult thing to do. To wait, to make sure that you are with your love of your life, to avoid the terror of repeating your parents' mistakes.