Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Angel: Buffy, you could never be helpless or boring, not even if you tried.

Kralik: She'll go to sleep, and when she wakes up, your face will be the first thing she eats. I have a problem with mothers. I'm aware of that.

Cordelia: What's going on? Oh, God. Is the world ending? I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow, but if the world's ending, I'm not gonna bother. Giles: You can't walk home alone, Buffy. It isn't safe. Buffy: I don't know you. Cordelia: Did something take her memory? He's Giles. Giiiiillles. He hangs out here a lot. Buffy: Cordelia, could you please drive me home? Cordelia: Of course. But if the world doesn't end, I'm gonna need a note.

Angel: It was a bright afternoon out in front of your school. You walked down the steps. And I loved you. Buffy: Why? Angel: 'Cause I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see. And I worried that it would be bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life I wanted to keep it safe, to warm it with my own. Buffy: That's beautiful....Or taken literally, incredibly gross. Angel: I was just thinking that, too.

Buffy: Before I was the Slayer, I was... Well, I don't want to say shallow, but... let's say a certain person, who will remain nameless, we'll just call her Spordelia, looked like a classical philosopher next to me.

Buffy: It's sweet and thoughtful, and full of neat words to learn and say like"wilt" and "henceforth".

Buffy: What if I just become pathetic? Hanging out at the old Slayer's home, talking people's ears off about my glory days, showing them Mr. Pointy, the stake I had bronzed.

Xander: An ice show. A show performed on ice. And how old are we again? Willow: I went to Snoopy on Ice when I was little. My dad took me backstage, and I got so scared I threw up on Woodstock. Buffy: I know you guys think it's just a big, dumb, girlie thing, but it's not. I mean, a lot of those skaters are Olympic medal winners. And every year, my Dad buys me cotton candy and one of those souvenir programs that has all the pictures-- and okay, it's a big, dumb, girlie thing, but I love it. Oz: It's not so girlie. Ice is cool. It's water, but it's not.

Willow: Aha! A curse on Slayers. Oh, no, wait. It's lawyers. Xander: You know, maybe we're on the wrong track with the whole spell, curse, and whammy thing. Maybe what we should be looking for is something like, um, Slayer kryptonite. Oz: Faulty metaphor. Kryptonite kills. Xander: You're assuming I meant the green kryptonite. I was referring, of course, to the red kryptonite, which drains Superman of his powers. Oz: Wrong. The gold kryptonite's the power-sucker. The red kryptonite mutates Superman into some sort of weird... Buffy: Guys. Reality.

Buffy: I'm way off my game. My game's left the country. It's in Cuernavaca.

Buffy: Wow, that was funny looking. Could you do it again? Vamp: I'll kill you for that. Buffy: For that? What were you trying to kill me for before?

Giles: This one? Buffy: Amethyst. Giles: Used for? Buffy: Breath mints? Giles: Charm bags, money spells and for cleansing one's aura. Buffy: Okay, so how do you know if one's aura's dirty? Somebody comes by with a finger and writes "wash me" on it?

Cordelia: Did something take her memory? He's Giles…Giiii llls

Angel: A thing? A date? Buffy: Nice attempt at casual

Buffy: Bite me. Travers: Yes, well. Colorful girl.

Buffy: The important thing is I keep up my special birthday tradition of gut-wrenching misery and horror.

Buffy: If I was at full Slayer power I'd be punning right about now.

Quentin: You think the test was unfair? Buffy: I think you better leave town before I get my strength back. Quentin: We're not in the business of fair, Miss Summers, we're fighting a war. Giles: You're waging a war. She's fighting it. There is a difference.

Buffy: Actually I do have a date. Older man. Very handsome. Likes it when I call him Daddy. Angel: Your father... It is your father, right?