-
Willow: But you don't even know him!
Anya: Yes, I do. I looked into him and saw his soul.
Willow: He was walking away, so unless his soul was in his ass -
Anya: A.J. is my best friend and my dearest darling -
Willow: It's R.J. And what you were picking up on was his deep caring and devotion to me.
-
Xander: (referring to Spike) Once you get back the soul, doesn't that mean you start, like, picking up your own wet towels off the floor?
Willow: No, but maybe you start to feel really bad about leaving them there.
Buffy: At least he's showering. That's a refreshing and delightful change.
-
Xander: Welcome to the Hellmouth, where even outerwear isn't safe.
-
Willow: Damn love spell. I have tried every anti-love spell, spell I can find.
Anya: Even if you found the right one, guy would probably just do an anti-anti-love spell, spell... spell.
Willow: What?
-
Xander: What the hell are you doing?
Willow: Proving I love R.J. the most.
Xander: Will, honey, R.J.'s a guy.
Willow: Well, I did notice that, yeah. That's why I'm doing my spell because, you know, he doesn't have to be.
-
Willow: Hey Anya, you never told us what you "can't believe you almost...".
Anya: Almost who now?
Willow: No. You can't be the only not-embarrassed one. What did you do?
Anya: I, uh, wrote a poem. An epic poem comparing him to a daisy and a tower and a lake.
Radio Announcer: And now the latest on Sunnydale's late-night bandit who is still at large. A masked thief held up a number of...
(Anya switches off radio)
Anya: Okay. Great. Ice cream. My treat?
-
Buffy: You realize Anya is probably seducing R.J. even as we speak.
Willow: My god, you think so?
Buffy: Well I wouldn't put it past her, she's recently evil you know.
Willow: Well so am I, why should I miss out?
-
(Xander rushes into classroom)
Xander: Buffy, I think Dawn needs you...
(walks in on Buffy & RJ)
Buffy: Xander hi, this is RJ.
RJ: Hi guy, it's called knocking.
Xander: I'm sorry it's just checkout time was an hour ago, we were hoping to make up the bed, and also it's a classroom you chowderhead! Now get off the boy, Buffy, we're going home.
-
Buffy: Whoa, hang on there Slappy. I'm not done with you yet.
R.J.: Oh man like its not bad enough I got that guy riding my back all the time, now I gotta deal with you too?
Buffy: Actually I'm a bit more formidable than Mr Wood, you might come to look fondly on his back riding.
-
Xander: Remember when she used to have a crush on me, I miss the much cuter me crush.
-
Dawn: The quarterback is the most important member of the team, he is like the rudder that guides the ship
(short pause)
RJ: Right
-
Anya: Well, I guess you guys could use my help. Willow's not very good with the practical strategizing... except when she's evil. And Dawn, she's not really good for anything.
-
Buffy: Dawn, I'm sorry that you feel so bad. OK, but in the morning this won't seem so terrible. You don't even know this R.J. Not really.
Dawn: I do know him. I know his soul.
Buffy: Really? Dawn, he wasn't even on your radar yesterday.
Xander: It's the jacket. It's true. Something about the big letter on the chest makes girls get all swoony and crushy. I saw it all the time in school. And you couldn't just pin any old felt letter to your coat and get play- not that I tried.
-
Buffy: You shredded my outfit.
Dawn: I'll buy you a new one.
Buffy: That's not the point. I don't want a new cheerleading outfit.
Xander: Now, now, let's not be hasty.
-
Dawn: Oh my god, I'm the pushy queen of Slut Town!
-
Buffy: Willow, you're a gay woman. And he isn't!
Willow: This isn't about his physical presence. It's about his heart.
Anya: His physical presence has a penis!
Willow: I can work around it!
-
Anya: Well you're going to have to do better than that. I'd kill for him.
Willow: You'd kill for a chocolate bar.
-
Buffy: Yes, kill for him. I'm the slayer. Slay means kill. Oh! I'll kill the principal.
Anya: Hard to top.
-
Willow: Yeah, well I have skills. I can prove my love with magic.
Anya: Yeah right, what are you going to do, use magic to make him into a girl?
(Willow smiles)
Anya: Damn.
-
Buffy: Xander, be honest. You didn't, you know, think about slipping that jacket on just a little bit?
Xander: I refuse to answer that on grounds that it didn't fit.