Buffy the Vampire Slayer

The Scooby gang is at the Bronze, discussing their travel options for the Homecoming dance. Willow and Cordy are up for hiring a limo as it's their last homecoming and it ought to be special, but Xander is hesitant, due to his severe lack of funding, and suggests the public bus as an alternative. Oz offers the use of his van, to which Cordelia opposes strongly, because, as she points out, "The Homecoming queen doesn't arrive in a van." Xander points out that she hasn't actually been elected yet, but one look from Cordelia evokes a sudden interest in the limo idea. Willow likes the "cuddlesome" idea of a private limo but Buffy seems less enthusiastic and has actually just been sullenly stirring her drink during the whole conversation, lost in her own thoughts. Willow asks why she's so ambivalent about going, since she's already got the tickets, and is about to wonder if it's because she hasn't got a date, but only gets to "da..." when Scott turns up. Cordelia, always bluntly truthful asks: "What's going on here, did Scott not ask her to the Homecoming dance yet?" Buffy blushes, embarrassed and then turns to look expectantly at Scott. He starts stuttering about how he thought that she wouldn't want to go, and they take turns saying that they'd like to go if the other would, until Oz cuts in as the judge, in effect, making the decision for them. Crisis averted, Scott offers to fetch Buffy another drink, but she declines saying that she's tired, kisses him and takes her leave.

We cut to the old church where Angel is now staying. We see him impatiently pacing the floor, his breathing ragged and shaky as though he's nervous. He hears a rustling noise outside and cautiously moves towards the curtains covering the entrance, pulls them aside in a flourish and is startled to find Buffy there with a paper bag which she hands him. Inside is a cup of blood which he is about to drink, when Buffy asks him how he is. Her presence causes him to become self conscious and he puts it away for later. He replies: "It hurts… less" Buffy says "good", and unsure of what else to say, turns to leave but then reconsiders and informs Angel that she hasn't told any of the others that he's come back. At the mention of Giles' name Angel looks as though he's a distant memory to him (which is in fact the case) and Buffy continues, explaining that she has no intention of telling them – pointing out that they wouldn't understand that he's better. She goes on to say that everything is different, that she's working harder in school and thinking of college and then she cautiously mentions that she's involved with someone. At the mention of this "someone" Angel spins around, causing Buffy to take a step back, afraid that he might become violent again. Instead he looks at her and reaches out a hand to straighten the collar on her coat. Buffy goes on to say that his name is Scott and that he's a nice, solid guy and makes her happy, she explains that she needs someone she can count on, (her tone suggests that she's convincing herself as much as Angel).

The camera "swooshes" to school the next day where Scott says: "I don't think we should see each other anymore." He explains that he feels that Buffy has seemed distracted since they started going out, whereas before she seemed full of energy. She tries to convince him that she's getting better, but he's resolved, apologizes and leaves her. The camera zooms out from Buffy standing by herself, and suddenly becomes the shape of binoculars, watching Buffy. We see a van with tinted windows, parked by the school, inside we find a pair of rugged-looking, identical twins of the Aryan persuasion, equipped with all the latest technology. They're watching Buffy through the binoculars which are connected to a set of screens and one of the boys opens a cell-phone and presses speed dial.
In the other end the phone is connected to a modem. The camera pans across a richly furnished, cozy-looking room and onto a middle-aged gentleman in a wheelchair, wearing a head-set. He presses some keys on a laptop and asks someone off screen "Is that her?" Out of the shadows steps Mr. Trick to affirm that the picture they're seeing of Buffy is "The target."

Intro credits

Inside City Hall, a nervous-looking man is waiting outside the Mayor's office. A secretary gives him leave to go in and when he enters, the camera-shot shows us the bottom half of a man wiping his hands on a paper towel before taking a seat at the Mayor's desk. The nervous man (who's called Alan) has some information for the Mayor about some suspicious people who apparently turned up in town 3 days ago: Frederick and Hans Grüenstahler who are wanted in Germany for several crimes. As he's speaking, the Mayor picks up the German twins' wrap sheet and the camera angle moves upwards to show a clean-shaved, friendly looking man in his late 40's. Instead of reading the sheet of paper, he sniffs it, earning himself a bemused look from Alan, who looses track of what he was saying. The Mayor asks Alan to show him his hands and Alan, growing increasingly nervous, carefully lays his shaking hands on the desk. An ominous sounding music starts up as the Mayor leans forward to regard them, and says "I think they could be cleaner." Alan stutters that he does wash them, but the Mayor goes on to explain that they should be washed "after every meal and under your fingernails." As he informs Alan, in a stern voice, about the many things that get stuck under fingernails (including germs and mayonnaise) Alan gulps, looking almost ready to make a run for it. The Mayor explains that he believed his mother when she said that "Cleanliness is next to godliness" and chuckles as he adds that she never caught a cold. In the same breath he then asks the bewildered Alan to put the two Germans under surveillance, and to inform him if any other "colorful characters" come to town. Alan gratefully pulls back his hands and promises to take care of it.

At school the gang are having their yearbook photos taken. Willow asks Xander for help picking out an outfit that will make Oz go "Oh." They run into Cordelia who is checking out the competition for Homecoming queen: Holly Charleston, a pretty girl twiddling her hair, whilst chatting with some boys- according to Cordelia, she's brain dead and poses no threat. And Michelle Blake, a pretty blonde who, according to Cordy is "open to all mankind" (implying that she's easy) and may therefore give Cordy a run for her money. Willow exclaims that Buffy will miss the photos and asks where she is and Xander answers that she and Faith are in the library "Getting Sweaty." Oz points out that she wasn't there the day they announced them, and therefore doesn't even know about it, so Cordelia volunteers to inform her on her way to the nurse's office to fetch an ice-pack to shrink her pores.

In the library, Buffy is giving Faith's mitts a good pummeling, earning a remark from her about how boys should break up with her more often, as it seems to give her an edge. Faith gives her a pep talk, encouraging her to move on and "Party… heavily" and then asks if she's still going to the dance. Buffy is hesitant, but Faith suggests that they go together, and find a couple of studs to use. Buffy agrees (though not to the stud-using part) and as she and Faith discuss limo options we see Cordelia on her way into the library. She's sidetracked by her campaigning duties however, when a couple of boys pass by that she absolutely has to speak to.

We cut to the quad where Buffy catches up with her teacher (Ms. Moran) to request a "glowing" letter of recommendation that Principal Snyder has demanded she provide. Unfortunately Ms. Moran has no idea who Buffy is, which comes as a surprise to Buffy, who seems to have been very fond of her class.

We cut to the cafeteria where Buffy is looking downcast, seated at a table with the others. In the foreground we see Cordelia step into frame holding a poster with her picture on it, encouraging a random by-passer to vote for her as Homecoming queen. Buffy elaborates on her bad mood, explaining that her favorite teacher didn't even know who she was and that she feels like a non-person. She tells them about all the "Royal" titles she held at her old school, and how the year book was "The story of me" and complains that at Sunnydale all she'll be is one picture on 1/8 of a page. As the icing on the cake, Xander points out that this isn't the case as Buffy never showed up for the picture taking yesterday and Willow adds that Cordelia was supposed to have told her. Buffy gets up to tell Cordelia off for forgetting to tell her about the photos, but instead of an apology, Cordy brushes her off, arguing that she's under a lot of pressure due to her campaign. Buffy scoffs at Cordy's efforts, but Cordy spitefully replies that Buffy wouldn't understand the pressure of running, as it requires having actual friends. Cordy's rebuttal hits a nerve with Buffy and apparently awakens her inner prom-queen, as she then challenges Cordy to the crown.

We cut to Mr. Trick making a motivational speech about competition, to a colorful group of people, among which we recognize one of the Gorch brothers (from the episode "Bad eggs.") He addresses them as human, vampire, and "Whatever the hell you are my brother, you got … spiny-looking head things going on, I ain't never seen that before" (this demon introduces himself as Kulak of the Miquot clan) Mr. Trick points out that Mr. Gorch and his wife, Candy haven't paid their deposit yet, at which point the vampire empties out a bag of bloodied dollar bills on the table. Now we discover what the deposits are for: Mr. Trick explains to the group that Buffy and Faith are the two intended targets, and that the "games" will begin in a few days. He makes them a money-back guarantee that the two girls will be together and ready for killing on the big night, and finishes off by welcoming them all to "Slayerfest '98".

Willow and Xander are trying out clothes for the dance. Willow is changing behind a screen and comes out once in a while wearing something new, to which Xander's main remark is: "Nice" (without much enthusiasm). Xander is having trouble with his bow-tie, so Willow helps him out. They're talking about how much has changed since their 8th grade cotillion and about how their relationships with Oz and Cordy, respectively, are going. At the moment that Xander puts on his jacket, Willow steps out, this time wearing a very becoming black evening dress, and each of them is stunned into momentary silence at the sight of the other, looking so well dressed. Willow suddenly becomes anxious, wondering if she'll be able to dance in the dress, and then wondering if she can dance at all, so Xander offers to help her out. As they join hands, there seems to be a change in the atmosphere between them, they're not just "buddies" anymore. They inch closer towards each other as a mellow song plays in the background and finally they kiss. Suddenly they fly apart, aware of what they've just done, each trying to explain it away, finally settling on the clothes as a cause for the "fluke" as they call it. They start inching closer, almost about to kiss again, but then come flying back to reality again as Xander announces that they need to get out of the clothes, to which Willow agrees. Almost immediately they realize how that statement can be misconstrued and both of them fall over themselves to say "Oh, I didn't mean…"

We cut back to school where Buffy is lecturing the others on how to win a war. We find her in front of a white board, with pictures of Holly, Michelle and Cordelia (the competition) above a long list of their strengths and weaknesses. Buffy starts handing out assignments: Willow is to make a database of the voters and who they're likely to vote for, Oz is to get the fringe vote – musicians etc. but before she can tell Xander what to do, she's interrupted by Cordelia's arrival in the library. Buffy regains her composure quickly and extends the hand of peace, stating that there's no reason they can't all be friends just because she and Cordy are running against each other. Cordy seems entirely in agreement with this sentiment, and we soon find out why: it seems that she's already given the group assignments, and they've agreed to help her. With a guilty look at Buffy, Xander, Willow and Oz follow Cordy out of the library, leaving Buffy alone with her whiteboard and Giles, who can't understand what all the fuss is about.

The camera "swooshes" again and to the sound of "Fire Escape" by Fastball, we see Buffy and Cordelia campaigning vigorously: Hanging flyers, handing out baskets of cupcakes and other goodies, flirting and chit-chatting with anyone and everyone and looking as cute and adorable as possible. At one point Buffy runs into Scott and a slightly awkward moment ensues, but he gallantly tells her that she has his vote, and she happily tics his name off on a list in her notebook and continues to campaign.
Interspersed in all the campaigning we cut to occasional scenes of the Slayerfest participants getting ready for their competition: The German brothers are wrestling, the hunter-guy is checking his guns and man traps, the vampires are making out on a sofa and the Spiny-headed looking creature is shooting self-regenerating knives out of his arms.

Buffy runs into Willow, who's feeling extremely guilty and is therefore easy to blackmail into allowing Buffy to sneak a peak at Cordelia's database. As Buffy is explaining that the limo is all sorted and that she and Faith will be the first to be picked up we see the German guys in their van outside, listening in on the conversation.

Buffy and Cordelia run into each other in the hallway and it seems like the time has come for a confrontation. They goad each other until Cordelia pushes Buffy aside as she tries to pass her, but this was the wrong move. Luckily Xander and Willow turn up at that very moment, in time to pull them apart before they do something they regret. Cordelia yells "You crazy freak" to which Buffy replies "Vapid whore!" as Xander drags Cordy away.

The scene cuts directly to Xander and Willow alone together, the latter of whom is explaining that "this is just the worst thing ever!" Xander agrees, as he sits on the bed next to her, but tries to explain how it's as though he's seeing her for the first time when he looks at her now. Willow points out that she's actually referring to Buffy and Cordelia and asks what they should do, seeing as it's all their fault. Xander doesn't quite understand how they're to blame, but Willow explains that they felt so guilty about the fluke that they overcompensated and helped Cordy too much, spinning "the group dynamic out of orbit". Xander has no suggestions, and can only complain about how unfair it is that nothing is ever easy, this provokes a loving look from Willow who strokes his face, and then with a downcast look asks what they can possibly do. Xander replies that they need to get the two communicating, but this time Willow points out, she is talking about her and Xander.

We cut to Buffy's house, from which Buffy exits wearing a pretty orange gown and gets into the limo, where she finds… Cordelia. She immediately smells a rat and asks what's going on, but in lieu of a reply Cordy simply points to a flower corsage and a note on the seat. Buffy reads the note which is from the others, explaining that they wanted her and Cordelia to work out their issues, so they've left the limo to them.
The limo sets into motion and we briefly cut to the outside. Back inside Buffy and Cordelia are apparently still debating who gets which corsage – they're not getting any friendlier. The limo pulls to a halt and Buffy draws a sigh of relief as they wait for the driver to open the door for them. Instead they hear the sound of him running off and, exchanging bemused looks, step out to take a look around.
They are definitely not at the Bronze.
They're in the woods and as Cordy shouts out to the others, whom she believes are playing a trick on them, Buffy points out the TV and VCR positioned on a rock in front of them. Buffy presses play and Mr. Trick appears on the screen informing the girls that they are part of Slayerfest '98 that the tables have turned in that they are now the hunted as opposed to the hunters. He explains with a grin, that they have only 17 seconds to run for their lives and finishes by wishing Faith and Buffy a nice death.

Cordy immediately complains loudly that she isn't a Slayer, but a Homecoming queen, but this doesn't seem to make much of a difference as the TV-screen is promptly shot and explodes. Buffy grabs Cordy and rushes off into the woods for cover.

At the Bronze the "Dingoes" are on stage playing and in the crowd we see Xander and Willow in their pretty clothes standing sullenly a few feet apart. Faith approaches them and comments on their brooding faces. Xander denies any brooding on his part and ends up clumsily explaining that Oz is a great guy. Willow concurs in a gloomy voice adding that he wrote the song they're playing, for her. Faith spots Scott dancing with a girl and calls him a sleaze bag as she walks off. Giles hurries up to Xander and Willow with a panicked look saying that they need to find Buffy immediately, but then breaks into a grin explaining that it was a joke. He completely misses that they hardly flinched, as he is sidetracked by the discovery of finger sandwiches and hurries off again.

Back in the woods Cordy and Buffy are hurrying through the brush. Cordy suggests they explain to their aggressors that they made a mistake and that she isn't a Slayer, but before Buffy can answer, Cordy shouts a warning to her and she narrowly avoids stepping in a man-trap. They duck in time for the hunter's bullet to pass over them, and Buffy grabs the trap and flings it at the hunter, causing him to stumble and step into a second trap. Buffy grabs the rifle that he's dropped and threatens him into telling her about the other participants in the game. Cordy tries to explain the misunderstanding to him, but is interrupted by a couple of knives landing in the tree adjacent to where they're standing. They make a run for it again.

At the bronze, Giles is browsing the buffet table as Faith passes him and greets Scott, interrupting his dance. She makes out that they're a couple and explains in a loud voice that the doctor has given them an ointment for "the itching and the swelling and the burning" she smiles at his date and leaves him looking flushed and embarrassed.
Giles is still going on about the finger sandwiches (he suspects they contain actual fingers) but neither Willow nor Xander seem particularly interested in what he has to say. They are now seated in separate chairs, but sporting equally mopey looks.

Meanwhile in the forest, Buffy and Cordy have found an abandoned shack and are barricading the entrances. Buffy has the hunter's gun, and tells Cordy to find a weapon, who instead choses to panic. Buffy sighs and tells her in a forceful voice that they just need to survive long enough to get to the library and the rest of the weapons, and that they'll do it just in time for Buffy's sweeping victory as Homecoming queen. This lights a fire under Cordy, and she mans herself up to look for a weapon. Shortly after she shows Buffy the spatula she's found in a drawer and yet Buffy is less than impressed. She explains that apart from the phone, this was all she could find. Buffy looks at her waiting for the penny to drop and then pointedly asks her whether or not she thinks a phone might be helpful? Cordy explains that the spatula is better, indicating a swishing movement clearly meant to slightly annoy a possible attacker, and then finally realizes what Buffy means.

We cut back to the Slayerfest headquarters where the elderly gentleman in the wheelchair is showing Mr. Trick what his computer can do. He tracks a phone line in the woods.

Buffy is leaving a message for Giles on the machine, when suddenly the line goes dead.

Outside, the spiny-headed looking creature approaches the hunter who is still caught in his own trap. He offers to cut the leg off, but the hunter declines.

The German twins are receiving coordinates from the headquarters and are moving stealthily through the woods.

Giles has returned to the library with a cup of tea and spots the machine has a message. He plays it back and his eyes widen as he hears Buffy's message.

Buffy is still pacing the cabin, looking out of the windows for bogeys. Cordy has settled for complaining about how she always ends up in trouble whenever Buffy is around. They start discussing the Homecoming queen thing again, and Cordy proclaims that she doesn't understand why Buffy even bothers about things like that when she has her Slayer stuff to deal with. Buffy explains that this is the very reason she bothers, because Slayer stuff is her whole life, and that she'd like just a few normal memories from High School. Cordy gives her a smile, as though she sort of understands, but just at that moment the spiny-headed demon smashes through the window and attacks Buffy, sending the gun flying. Buffy grabs a mounted set of antlers from the wall to fend of the blows from his knives. Meanwhile Cordelia is slapping him with the spatula, which is every bit as ineffective as predicted. Buffy points out that she should pick up the gun, but after one, very wide shot, Buffy changes her mind, and urges her to return to the spatula. Outside, the German twins have arrived at the cabin and are loading their rocket launchers.
Inside, the gun is out of ammo, and Buffy and the demon are wrestling as a grenade flies through the wall of the cabin. They look down and run in separate directions, Buffy grabbing Cordy and hurling herself and Cordy out of a window. The demon also tries to jump through a window, but unfortunately it's boarded up so instead he bounces back onto the floor, next the grenade. Outside, we see Buffy and Cordy running for dear life as in the background the cabin (and the demon) explodes.

In the library we see an array of weapons laid out on the table, and then zoom out to see Mr. and Mrs. Gorch playing with them, as they are apparently waiting for the Slayers to arrive. On the floor we see Giles, knocked unconscious.

Back at the headquarters, the elderly gentleman is following two dots on his screen that apparently represent the Slayers (Or Buffy and Cordelia, as is the case). He comments that they are headed back to town, as there is a knock at the door. Mr. Trick leaves to answer and is hauled off by the policemen who are waiting at the door.

Buffy and Cordy have finally made it to the school all in one piece, although they look a little worse for wear. Buffy explains that they just need to get rid of the Gorches and the Germans to make it to Homecoming, but just as they enter the library, Buffy is grabbed and flung into the wall by Mrs. Gorch who was hiding behind the door. Cordy throws Buffy the spatula, with which she stabs the vampire, just as she gets knocked to the floor, unconscious. But it's too late, Buffy hit her mark and Candy Gorch is dust. This sends Mr. Gorch into a rage, and he's just about to rush to attack the unconscious Buffy, when Cordy steps in front of him looking extremely confident, insults him profusely, informs him that they've taken out four of his comrades, without even breaking a sweat and that, when push comes to shove, that Buffy is simply the runner up and that she is the real queen. This speech hits home and he gulps and excuses himself before rushing off, tail between his legs (figuratively speaking).

We cut to a little while later, and both Buffy and Giles are awake and Giles is attempting to tidy up the mess of books on the floor. Giles feels slightly responsible for their predicament as he approved the idea of leaving them alone in the limo, but Buffy brushes it off, saying that it let her and Cordy spend some quality death time together. And, Cordy adds, they got free corsages. Giles hadn't heard any mention of corsages and as Buffy examines hers closer, she points out that the hunter (or Jungle Bob, as she calls him) told her that the Germans where hooked up to a computer system. She then spots the little implants in the corsage and realizes that they've been tracked the whole time. Just then we hear a door slam and see the Germans enter the main hallway of the school. Cordy quickly rips her corsage off and hands it to Buffy who asks Giles for some wet toilet paper much to Cordy's complete bemusement.
The Germans put on their night goggles, and slowly scope the hallway. Suddenly, Buffy sprints across the hall and their line of sight. They fire, but she's too fast and she sprints into a classroom. One of the twins follows her, the other stays outside on the other side of the wall. They are still receiving coordinates from their headquarters and are aiming their guns at the markers on the screen. Suddenly Buffy rises up from behind a desk and throws the corsages, wrapped in wet toilet paper onto the back of twin number one. The other twin adjusts his aim and fires through the wall at his twin, who fires back. They take each other out and the dots on the screen disappear, leaving the elderly gentleman to believe that he's won.

At City Hall Mr. Trick is hustled into the Mayor's office, where he's greeted warmly by the Mayor himself. The Mayor introduces himself as Richard Wilkins and then demonstrates that he already knows who Mr. Trick is and also, what he is. Mayor Wilkins engages in small talk, mentioning a rebellious element, most likely referring to the Slayers, and commends Mr. Trick for his initiative in organizing the Slayerfest adding that he needs people like him on his team. Mr. Trick doesn't seem inclined to being a part of the Mayor's team, but the Mayor manages, without making the least threat, to indicate that he doesn't have much choice. He finishes by offering him a moist towelette.

At the Bronze, the Homecoming queen is about to be announced. Willow is anxious that Buffy and Cordelia haven't arrived yet but just at that moment they arrive with Giles and as Oz points out, they look as though they've been in a mud wrestling match. Cordy turns to Buffy and begins to say that after all they've been through, this queen thing seems pretty… but Buffy finishes "…damn important" to which Cordelia heartily agrees. Devon reads out that there has been a tie, and as the camera zooms in on Buffy and Cordelia standing in the front row, looking expectant he finishes the sentence, naming Holly and Michelle as the Homecoming queens. The smiles on Buffy and Cordy's faces falter as the names register and they realize neither of them is Homecoming queen. Holly and Michelle push past them onto the stage and start making silly speeches about the honor of being picked. Buffy and Cordy give each other a disgusted look and stalk out.