-
Olivia: Sorry I'm late, horror flight.
Giles: Oh I'm sorry, bad weather?
Olivia: Baseball movie...
-
Willow: You were there looking for me?
Tara: I thought maybe we could do a spell - make people talk again. I...I'd seen you in the group, the Wicca group you were... you were different than them. I mean they didn't seem to know...
Willow: What they were talking about.
Tara: I think if they saw a Witch they would run the other way.
-
Spike: Like I'd bite you, anyway.
Xander: Oh, you would.
Spike: Not bloody likely.
Xander: I happen to be very biteable, pal. I'm moist and delicious.
Spike: All right, yeah, fine. You're a nummy treat.
Xander: And don't you forget it.
-
Forrest: (To Riley) This is the burden we bear, brother. We have a gig that would inevitably cause any girl living to think we are cool upon cool. Yet, we must Clark Kent our way through the dating scene, never to use our unfair advantage. Thank God we're pretty.
-
Anya: This isn't a relationship. You don't need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms.
Xander: Okay, remember how we talked about private conversations? How they're less private when they're in front of my friends?
Spike: Oh, we're not your friends. Go on.
Giles: Please don't.
-
Spike: We're out of Weetabix.
Giles: We are out of Weetabix because you ate it all. Again.
Spike: Get some more.
Giles: I thought vampires were supposed to eat blood.
Spike: Yeah, well, sometimes I like to crumble up the Weetabix in the blood. Gives it a little texture.
Giles: Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again, you'll just have to pick it up yourself.
-
Willow: Man, that was an exciting class, huh?
Buffy: Oh, yeah - wow.
Willow: And the last twenty minutes - it was a revelation. Just laid out everything we need to know for the final. I'd hate to have missed that.
Buffy: Just tell me I didn't snore.
Willow: Very discreet. Minimal drool.
Buffy: Oh, yay.
-
Riley: So what have you got going on tonight?
Buffy: Oh, patrolling.
Riley: Patrolling?
Buffy: Uh, petroleum.
Riley: Petroleum?
Buffy: Uh-huh.
Riley: Tonight you have crude oil?
Buffy: And homework.
-
Riley: So tell me about your dream. As a psych major, I'm qualified to go, "hmmm".
Buffy: I don't really remember.
Riley: Well, did I appear at all in this dream?
Buffy: There might have been a cameo.
Riley: Is that right?
Buffy: More like a featured role.
Riley: Romantic lead?
Buffy: I'm not saying a word.
-
Spike: (Mimicking Anya) Xander, don't you care about me?
Xander: Shutup.
Spike: (Mimicking Anya) We never talk.
Xander: Shutup.
Spike: (Mimicking Anya) Xander…
Xander: Shutup!
-
Little Girl: Can't even shout, Can't even cry,
The Gentlemen are coming by,
Lookin' in windows, Knockin' on doors,
They need to take seven and they might take yours,
Can't call to mom, Can't say a word,
You're gonna die screaming but you won't be heard.
-
Willow: (after attending a Wicca meeting) Bunch of wanna blessed be's. Nowadays every girl with a henna tattoo and a spice rack thinks she's a sister to the dark ones.
-
Olivia: All the time you used to talk to me about witchcraft and darkness and the like, I just thought you were being pretentious.
Giles: Oh, I was. I was also right.
Olivia: So everything you told me was true?
Giles: Well, no, um, I wasn't actually one of the original members of Pink Floyd, but... but the monster stuff yes.
-
Spike: I'm not having these two shag while I'm tied to a chair three feet away.
Xander: That's not exactly one of my fantasies either.