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Ms. Calendar: Hi. I got your message. What's so urgent?
Giles: (nervously) Um... Thank you for coming. I need your help. But before that I need you to believe something that you may not want to. Uh, there's, uh... something's got into the, um... inside, um... (takes a breath) There's a demon on the Internet...
Ms. Calendar: (calmly) I know.
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Buffy: (to Willow) So, you've been seeing a guy, and you don't know what he looks like? Okay, this is a puzzle. No, wait, I'm good at these. Does it involve a midget and a block of ice?
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Buffy: Whoa! You're the Late Girl.
Willow: I overslept.
Buffy: Till fifth period?
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Giles: Hoping and betting, that's what we've got.
Ms. Calendar: You want to throw in praying? Be my guest.
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Ms. Calendar: You really are an old-fashioned boy, aren't you?
Giles: Well, I don't dangle a corkscrew from my ear.
Ms. Calender: That's not where I dangle it.
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Giles: Things involving the computer fill me with a childlike terror. Now if it were a nice ogre or some such, I'd be more in my element.
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Fritz: The printed page is obsolete. Information isn't bound up anymore. It's an entity. The only reality is virtual. If you're not jacked in, you're not alive.
Ms. Calendar: Thank you, Fritz, for making us all sound like crazy people.
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Xander: Are we overreacting? He's in a computer, what can he do?
Buffy: You mean besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I don't know, how about mess up all the medical equipment in the world?
Giles: Randomize traffic signals.
Buffy: Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles.
Giles: Destroy the world's economy.
Buffy: I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing.
Giles: Right, yours was best.
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Buffy: You're a computer geek, (stops to rephrase herself) genius.
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Ms. Calendar: What is it?
Giles: (trying to hide the apparently supernatural origin of a book) Uh, nothing, um, a diary, yes. I imagine that's what it is... Well, it's been so nice talking to you.
Ms. Calendar: We were fighting.
Giles: (distracted) Must do it again sometime, yes... Bye, now.
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Moloch: Don't you see? I can give you everything! I can control the world! Right now a man in Beijing is transferring money to a Swiss bank account for a contract on his mother's life... Good for him.
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Buffy: Hey, did you forget? The one boy I've had the hots for since I've moved here turned out to be a vampire.
Xander: Right, and the teacher I had a crush on? Giant praying mantis?
Willow: That's true.
Xander: Yeah, that's life on the Hellmouth.
Buffy: Let's face it: none of us are ever gonna have a happy, normal relationship.
Xander: We're doomed!
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Giles: When I've examined it, you can, uh, uh... skim it.
Ms Calendar: Scan it, Rupert. That's scan it.
Giles: Of course.
Ms Calendar: Oh, I know our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th century. With three whole years to spare!
Giles: Ms. Calendar, I'm sure your computer science class is fascinating, but I happen to believe that one can survive in modern society without being a slave to the idiot box.
Ms Calendar: That's TV. The idiot box is TV. This is the good box!
Giles: I still prefer a good book.
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Xander: (to Giles) You released Moloch?
Buffy: (sarcastically) Way to go!
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Buffy: I can just tell something is wrong--my spider sense is tingling.
Giles: Your spider sense?
Buffy: Pop culture reference...sorry.
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Xander: I mean... sure, he says he is a high school student -- but I could say I'm a high school student.
Buffy: You are.
Xander: Okay, but I could also say that I'm an elderly Dutch woman... Get me? And who's to say I'm not if I'm in the elderly Dutch chat room?
Buffy: I get your point... (beat) I get your point! This guy could be anybody -- I mean he could be weird, or crazy, or old, or... he could be a circus freak -- he's probably a circus freak!
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Giles: I'm, I'm just gonna stay and clean up a little. I'll, uh, I'll be back in the middle ages.
Ms. Calendar: Did you ever leave?
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Buffy: CRD, whatever that means.
Xander: Calax Research and Development. It's a computer research lab. Third largest employer in Sunnydale 'til it closed down last year. (everyone stares at Xander) What, I can't have information sometimes?
Giles: Well, it's just somewhat unprecedented.
Xander: My uncle used to work there. In a floor sweeping capacity.
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Ms. Calendar: You're here again? You kids really dig the library, don't you?
Buffy: We're literary.
Xander: To read makes our speaking English good.