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Buffy: Listening to the best of VH1 all day sorta put me on edge.
Willow: Kathy's still spinning the divas?
Buffy: 'Cause it's the funnest! It's no big. College is a time of change, right? Before too long, she'll be trip-hopping all over the place.
-
Giles: Clearly something is amiss.
Buffy: Yeah, something's amiss here, a 'Miss Kathy Newman.
-
Giles: What sort of demon?
Buffy: He had a cloak on and glowing green eyes. And his skin had a, like, super-bad fake rub-on tan.
Giles: Translate?
Buffy: Orangey.
-
Willow: Happy hunting.
Buffy: Wish me monsters.
-
Buffy: And what are we, if not women up to a challenge?
Willow: Exactly. I mean, did we not put the "grr" in "girl"?
-
Buffy: Kathy's nice and all, but she's, sort of, I don't know, like, Mini-Mom of Momdonia.
-
(as Kathy starts playing Cher's song Believe)
Buffy: Wow, this music is so, so...
Kathy: I know. This song is super fun, isn't it?
Buffy: You bet. It just gets funner and funner every time you play it.
-
Xander: I... uh... don't think I tied the knots tight enough.
Oz: I'm not getting near her...
(Oz and Xander look at each other and hesitantly make their way toward Buffy, as they reach her, she reaches around and knocks their heads together, knocking them out)
Buffy: Nope! Not tight enough!
-
Xander: Just thought I'd come around and (slaps Oz on the leg) check on my girls.
-
Buffy: She has parts that keep growing after they're detached. She irons her jeans. She's evil! She has to be destroyed.
Giles: I fear the demon that Buffy met in the woods has somehow possessed her.
Buffy: Lite FM. Love songs. Nothing but love songs!
Xander: Ya think?
-
Kathy: I'm 3000 years old. When are you going to stop treating me like I'm 900?
-
Xander: Buffy, this hurts me more than it hurts you.
Buffy: Not yet, but it will.
Xander: Don't say that. Please don't say that.
-
Willow: Toenails?
Buffy: Evil toenails. I took them off the floor last night when she was in the bathroom. She thought I was asleep.
Willow: Good thinking. 'Cause in the middle of the night, those toenails could have attacked you and left little half-moon marks all over your body.
-
Buffy: So then, Kathy's like, "It's share time," and I'm like, "Oh, yeah? share this!" (punches the air)
Oz: So either you hit her, or you did your wacky mime routine for her.
Buffy: Well, I didn't do either, actually. but she deserved it, don't you think?
Oz: Nobody deserves mime, Buffy.
-
Willow: If it wasn't for this English paper, I'd be there right now, listening, doing the girly best-friend thing.
Oz: Well, I can do that.
Willow: You can?
Oz: Oh, I'm not saying we'll braid each other's hair... probably. But I can hang with her, watch for signs she's going over the edge.
-
Willow: What kind of demon runs around putting ooky blood dreams into people's heads? Like some kind of nightmare fairy. It's not right.
Oz: Well, I'm against it.
-
Buffy: Cool. You guys can do the brain thing. I'm gonna go to class.
Oz: Which could also be construed as the brain thing.
Buffy: Not when you're minoring in Napping 101.
Willow: Okay, so that was the evil twin, right? 'Cause she was bordering on Cordelia-esque.
-
Kathy: Sounds like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
Buffy: Mm-hmm. And guess what? You were next to it.
-
Buffy: And the worst part? I wake up, and there's Kathy staring at me like I'm some kind of freak.
Oz: Well, actually, the worst part, I'd have to go with the demon pouring the blood down your throat.
Willow: Me, too. I would vote for that, too.
-
Kathy: Eww! Who left their gum here?
Buffy: Gum gnome?
-
Xander: Hey! Say hi to non-college guy.
Buffy: Not that I mind, but don't non-college guys usually populate the non-campus?
-
Buffy: What are you doing today?
Giles: It's a big day for me, actually. A friend of mine recently acquired an original Gutenberg demonography, and it suddenly occurs to me that you've never once asked me what my day's plans were, which would lead me to inquire whether you're feeling entirely yourself.
Buffy: That's not true. I ask about you all the time. Okay, well, maybe the words don't actually make it out of my mouth, but I think about it.
Giles: And it's appreciated.
-
Buffy: Did you just hear something?
Willow: I'm chewing my gum kind of loud.
Buffy: That's not it.
Willow: My sneakers are squeaky.
Buffy: I'm looking for something lurky here, Will.
-
Buffy: You run?
Giles: And jump. And bend. And occasionally frolic.
Buffy: Okay... and what's with "Motorbike & Scooter" magazine?
Giles: Congratulations, you found me out. I'm a mod jogger.
Buffy: Okay, you're not having one of those mid-life things, are you? 'Cause I'm still going "ick" from the last time you tried to recapture your youth.
-
Kathy: I just wanted to make sure that we didn't have a thief or something.
Buffy: Like who? Sid the Wily Dairy Gnome?
-
Buffy: She's the Titanic! She's a crawling black cancer! (Buffy kicks out and breaks a nearby bench) She's ... other really bad things!
Oz: Well, on the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty.
-
Giles: You took your roommate patrolling with you?
Buffy: Well, I invited the whole dorm, but she was the only one who could make it.
-
Willow: Giles. I just talked to Buffy and, yeah, I think she's feeling a little crazy. No, not bitchy crazy, more like homicidal maniac crazy. So I told her to come see you, kay?