Alexander 'Xander' Harris
Older Night Watchman
Nitpick: At the beginning of this episode we find out that Joyce has a followup doctor's appointment later that day because of her headaches. Buffy even asks her mother to remind her of the time of the appointment and yet we never see Joyce go to the doctor at any time during this episode and the appointment is never mentioned again. When Buffy and Dawn come back from the Magic Shop they see their mother on the couch obviously suffering from a strong headache and Buffy says that she (Joyce) should go to the doctor but Joyce doesn't want to go and simply asks Buffy to get her prescription. The weird part is that at the beginning of the episode when Buffy asks her mother what the doctors have said about Joyce's headaches she says that they just said: "To take four of some pills and call them in the morning." Why is it that we never see Joyce go to the doctor when her headaches are this bad?
Nitpick: The warehouse lot where Buffy fights the vampire at the beginning of the episode is open and well lit, yet the night watchman acts as though he saw nothing when he walks up on Buffy seconds after the fight is over.
Goof: When Giles first talks to Buffy at the Magic Box look at the clock on the wall behind the counter. It isn't working. The sweep hand doesn't move.
Goof: When they're all in the Magic Box talking about what's hurting Buffy's mom, Xander and Buffy are sitting side by side with Willow standing behind Buffy. The shot cuts to Buffy up close, then widens out a little. As the camera moves back, Willow sits down next to Buffy. Where did Xander go?
Goof: After Buffy head butts Glory and begins to press the attack with a few kicks and punches, you can tell Sarah Michelle Gellar is trying desperately not to actually hit actress Claire Kramer (Glory) in the face because her kicks and punches are soft and completely off target.
Goof: When Buffy meets Glory for the first time, she is thrown against a stone wall and the force of the impact breaks the stone. In the shot where she falls from the stone wall, it clearly vibrates, this would not happen to stone, even if it had been depressed as shown.
Giles: Would someone please rip that bloody bell off its hinges?
Xander: Would that involve moving?
Willow: My feet are numb.
Xander: I'll see your numbness and I'll raise you a lower back pain.
Giles: I think I liked it better when demons would just crash in here and tear the place apart. Just seemed so much simpler.
Anya: You're out of crystal balls. Those babies are really popular with the amateurs. Better re-stock and raise the price 10%. Make it 15.
Anya: Your cash register looks like squirrels nest in it.
Anya: And the Hand of Glory packs some serious raw power. Better institute a seven-day background check for-
Giles: Anya! (beat) Would you like a job?
Giles: Good. Then we can talk shop tomorrow.
Anya: Okay... boss.
Anya: (smiling as she finishes a sale) Please Go!
Xander: Anya, the Shopkeepers' Union of America called -- they want to tell you that "please go" just got replaced with "have a nice day".
Anya: But I have their money, who cares what kind of day they have?
Xander: No one. It's just a long cultural tradition of raging insincerity. Embrace it.
Anya: (looks up at an exiting customer) Hey you! Have a nice day!
Buffy: I think we should get a second opinion.
Joyce: Well, we need a first opinion first, honey.
Dawn: Check out all the magic junk.
Giles: Our new slogan.
Dawn:(to Buffy) You said it'd be easier if you didn't have to look out for anybody.
Buffy: Well, I wasn't talking about Riley.
Riley: Don't worry about it.
Dawn: Oh, she just said you look even cuter when you're all weak and kitteny and she'd better go solo or you'd get hurt. So welcome to the club. She'll never let me go either.
Buffy: I just had a bad day.
Dawn: Well, join the club.
Buffy: Can I be president?
Dawn: I'm president. You could be the janitor.
Buffy: I'm sorry.
Dawn: You hurt my arm.
Buffy: I know.
Buffy: Really sorry.
Dawn: I tell you I have this theory? It goes where you're the one who's not my sister. 'Cause mom adopted you from a shoebox full of baby howler monkeys and never told you 'cause it could hurt your delicate baby feelings.
Buffy: That's your theory?
Dawn: Explains your fashion sense. And your smell.
Monk: For centuries it had no form at all. My brethren, its only keepers. Then the abomination found us. We had to hide the Key, gave it form, molded it flesh... made it human and sent it to you.
Monk: She's the Key.
Buffy: You put that in my house?
Monk: We knew the Slayer would protect.
Buffy: My memories... my mom's?
Monk: We built them.
Buffy: Then un-build them! This is my life you're-
Monk: You cannot abandon.
Buffy: I didn't ask for this! I don't even know... what is she?
Monk: Human... now human. And helpless. Please... she's an innocent in this. She needs you.
Buffy: She's not my sister?
Monk: She doesn't know that.
Glory: (to Buffy) Wait, I've always wanted to try this. You know that thing with worms, where if you have one, and you rip it in half, you get two worms? Do you think that'll work with you? (Buffy hits her) You hit me! What, are you crazy? You can't go around hitting people. What, were you born in a barn?
Glory: I just want you to know -- this whole "beat you to death" thing I'm doing is valuable time out of my life that I'm never going to get back.
Willow: Does this look right to you?
Anya: Sure, if you wrapped it with your feet.
Glory: You know, when you think about it, I'm the victim here. First off, I don't even want to be here. And I'm not talking about this room or this city or this state or this planet. I'm talking about the whole mortal coil now, you know? It's disgusting! The food... the clothes... the people. I could crap a better existence than this.
Giles: Did you see that? Customers, real live customers. They came in, and I gave them things, and they gave me money, and then they left! It's brilliant!
Willow: Congratulations. You're an official capitalist running dog.
Ben: Hey! It's Buffy, isn't it? Ben... but you can call me man-nurse. Everybody else here does.
Joyce: I get to worry about you two, which is a good thing, because you're a Vampire Slayer. And you, you are my little punkin' belly.
Dawn: Mom, that's, like, my kid name.
Joyce: So, I can't be retro?
Buffy: Did you ever have any names for me?
Joyce: No, I think you were always just Buffy.
Dawn: I got some names for ya.
Joyce: The headaches they said would go away came back and brought some friends along with.
Joyce: Oh! Check out the "Pamper Mom" platter. You two do all this?
Dawn: Oh, Buffy helped.
Buffy: I didn't "help"...
Joyce: I'm sure you did. So neither of you is pregnant, failing or under indictment? Just checking.
Vamp: I've always wanted to kill the Slayer.
Buffy: And I've always wanted piano lessons. Really, who's surprised we have all this unexpressed rage? But honestly, I think I'm expressing mine better. Tell you what... you find yourself a good anger management class, and I'll jam this pokey wood stick through your heart. (stakes the vampire) I think that sets the world speed record for closure.
Buffy: Don't take this the wrong way, but... (punches Spike in the nose) ...what are you doing here? Five words or less.
Spike: Out. For. A. Walk.... Bitch. You know, contrary to one's self-involved world-view, your house happens to be directly between... parts... and other parts of this town. And I would pass by in the day, but I feel I'm outgrowing my whole "burst into flame" phase.
Buffy: Fine. Keep going, I'll cut you a break.
Spike: Oh, yeah. Okay, let me guess... you won't kill me? Wooo... the whole crowd-pleasing threats-and-swagger routine. How stunningly original. I'm just passing through, satisfied? You know, I really hope so because God knows you need some satisfaction in life besides shagging Captain Cardboard and I never really liked you anyway and... and you have stupid hair.
Buffy: Actually, I have a little scooby-centric deal to deal with first. (pulls out the Dagon Sphere) I put this before the group... what the hell is it?
Giles: It appears to be paranormal in origin.
Willow: How can you tell?
Giles: Well it's so shiny.
Dawn: What are you doing?
Buffy: (Sarcastically) My boyfriend, go away.
Giles: Xander, there's too many of them... people! And they all seem to want things.
Xander: I hear ya. Stay British. You'll be okay.
(walks away from Giles)
Xander: The Thousand Yard Stare. Damn! You hate to see it on any man, but especially in retail.
Clare Kramer's character was originally meant to be called "Cherry" rather than Glory.
In this episode we learn Dawn is not human, but an energy called the 'Key'; putting to rest all the cries of outrage from fans when they were introduced to Buffy's sister who was never seen before.
We are introduced to Glory in this episode, although we do not yet know her name, or exactly what she is.
This is writer Douglas Petrie's first episode to feature Dawn, but it is not the first time he has written for Michelle Trachtenberg. He wrote the screenplay for the 1996 Nickelodeon movie Harriet The Spy, Michelle's first feature film; and was also a staff writer on the Nickelodeon series Clarissa Explains It All, which guest starred a young Michelle.
The fight sequence between Glory and Buffy in the warehouse appears to display many characteristics of the fight between Neo and Agent Smith near the end of the film The Matrix.
Buffy: I want you to relax all day, keep your feet up, plenty of Oprah.
The Oprah Winfrey Show is a daytime talk show hosted by Oprah Winfrey. The show started in 1984 in Chicago and started running as a syndicated show in 1986. The show and Oprah have won more than 30 Emmy Awards.
Dawn: I tell you I have this theory. It goes where you the one who's not my sister 'cause mom adopted you from a shoebox full of baby howler monkeys and never told you 'cause it could hurt your delicate baby feelings.
A howler monkey named Esperanzo was taken to Siglo XXI (an animal shelter in Chile) when he was found abandoned in a shoebox on the street.
Glory: (...) until someone's gonna sit down on their tuffet and make this birthing stop!
By mentioning "tuffet," Glory makes a subtle reference to the Mother Goose nursery rhyme 'Little Miss Muffet'. It goes:
Little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away.
Riley: Giles, you got that Danger Room set up out back?
From the comics/TV series X-Men, the Danger Room was a training room which simulated various dangers for the Mutants to practice their skills against.
Dawn: Who died and made you the Iron Chef?
Iron Chef is a Japanese produced show that now airs on The Food Network in the US. The host of the show pits his 'Iron Chefs' master chefs in various culinary , against challengers who try to prove their culinary prowess and skill, in an arena called 'Kitchen Stadium.'
Ben: (about Buffy's strength) Radioactive spider bite?
The Marvel Comics character Spider-Man received his powers when he was bitten by a radioactive spider.
Title: "No Place Like Home"
The title of this episode has its origins in The Wizard of Oz, the 1939 film in which the main character Dorothy, clicked her heels together and repeated, "There's no place like home" in order to get back to her home in Kansas after having found herself in the magical world of Oz.
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