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Buffy: (In a last ditch attempt to show Hus times have changed) You have casinos now!
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Giles: I thought the Chumash were peaceful?
Willow: Oh they were peaceful all right. They were fluffy indigenous kittens until we came along.
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Buffy: (to Giles) You're the reason we had to have Pilgrims in the first place.
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Spike: What part don't you understand about help me?
Buffy: The part where I help you.
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Spike: How are you gonna fight any one with that attitude?
Willow: We don't want to fight any one.
Buffy: We just want to have Thanksgiving
Spike: (laughs) Yeah. good luck!
Willow:If we could talk to him
Spike:You exterminated his race! What could you possibly say that would make him feel better? It's kill or be killed here. Take your bloody pick.
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Spike: I just can't take all this mamby pamby boo-hooing about the bloody Indians.
Willow: The preferred term is...
Spike: You won. All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. It's what Caesar did, and he's not going around saying, "I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it." The history of the world isn't people making friends. You had better weapons, and you massacred them. End of story.
-
Xander: I think my syphilis is clearing right up.
Buffy: And they say romance is dead... Or maybe they just wish it.
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Willow: Well, maybe we started a new tradition this year. (everyone looks at her) Maybe not. But at least we all worked together. It was like old times.
Xander: Yeah, especially with Angel being here and everything. (everyone looks at Buffy) Oops.
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Buffy: Wasn't exactly a perfect Thanksgiving.
Xander: I don't know - seemed kinda right to me. A bunch of anticipation, a big fight, and now we're all sleepy.
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Willow: I think he thought we were crazy.
Xander: Well, maybe if Anya hadn't opened the conversation with, "Everybody got both ears?"
Anya: I liked his wife. She gave me pie.
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Spike: Willow, tell 'em what I did.
Willow: You said you were gonna kill me, then Buffy.
Spike: Yes, bad, but let's skip that part and get to the part where I couldn't bite you.
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Buffy: Sarcasm accomplishes nothing, Giles.
Giles: It's sort of an end in itself.
Xander: Hey, can we come rocketing back to the part about me and my new syphilis?
Anya: It'll make you blind and insane. But it won't kill you. The smallpox will.
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Anya: You're going to get vesicles and pustules. They have pictures.
Xander: I hate this guy.
Willow: He's just doing what was done to him.
Xander: I didn't give him syphilis.
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Willow: Are you sure we shouldn't be helping him?
Giles: No, I think perhaps we won't help the angry spirit with his rape and pillage and murder.
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Buffy: We need to boil those and put them through the ricer.
Giles: I don't think I have a ricer.
Buffy: You don't have a ricer? What do you mean? How could someone not have a ricer?
Giles: Well, do you have one at home?
Buffy: I don't know. What's a ricer?
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Riley: And I know what you're thinking. It's like I grew up in a Grant Wood painting.
Buffy: Exactly. If I knew who that was.
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Buffy: I'm a great cook... in theory. I've eaten a lot.
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Willow: But you have whipped cream. I saw it in Giles' fridge.
Buffy: But that's whipped cream in a canister. Look, it's only right if you whip it yourself.
Willow: Hey, and then later we can churn our own butter, and make sweaters out of sheep.
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Anya: You're pasty and wet and disgusting. They can dig without you.
Xander: I don't really feel that bad.
Anya: I inflicted a lot of putrefying diseases on men when I was an avenging demon. You look like you're getting all of them.
Xander: Okay, I'll stay. But you should go. You could catch it.
Anya: We'll die together. It's romantic.
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Riley: We do this the Professor's way.
Forrest: (cough) Mama's boy.
Riley: That's a nasty cough. You might need to spend the weekend in quarantine.
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Willow: Ooh, we could not invite Anya!
Buffy: I don't know. She and Xander seem pretty tight lately.
Willow: Grumble, grumble.
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Willow: Buffy, earlier you agreed with me about Thanksgiving. It's a sham. It's all about death.
Buffy: It is a sham. But it's a sham with yams. It's a yam sham.
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Anya: Look at him.
Willow: Very... diggy.
Anya: Soon he'll be sweating. I'm imagining having sex with him again.
Buffy: Imaginary Xander is quite the machine.
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Spike:Oh, someone put a stake in me.
Xander:You've got a lot of volunteers in here.
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(Buffy fights with a native american spirit, who changes into a large black bear).
Spike: A bear! You made a bear!
Buffy: I didn't mean to!
Spike: Undo it! Undo it!
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Spike: I came to you in friendship! Well, all right, seething hatred.
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Spike: Bloody hell, woman! You're cutting off my circulation.
Buffy: You don't have any circulation.
Spike: Well, it pinches.
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Giles: I have reason to believe Buffy herself may be in particular danger from this menace.
Willow: You mean... Angel? I saw him, too.
Giles: That's not terribly stealthy of him.
Willow: I think he's lost his edge.
-
Buffy: So you're telling me what-she killed herself, dumped the body and then cut off the ear?
Willow: No, she cut the ear off, killed herself then dumped the bod... I'm really off my game.
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Buffy: This is no good! ...it needs more condensed milk.
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Spike: I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore.