Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Xander: (After seeing Buffy & Spike kiss) Can I be blind too?

Buffy: How long are you gonna pull this crap? Spike: How long am I gonna live once I tell you? Giles: Spike, we have no intention of killing a harmless, um, creature.

Xander: Just think of my lips as the Fruit Roll-Ups of Love. (Anya gives him a weird look) OK, that was gross.

Buffy: Spike, these are my friends. Besides, it's kind of my job. Spike: For now. Buffy: What, you want me to stop working? Spike: Let's see. Do I want you to give up killing my friends? Yeah, I've given it some thought.

Riley: What's his name? Buffy: Who? Riley: The groom. Buffy: Spike. Riley: That's a name?

Buffy: I don't know, there's just something missing. Willow: That he's not making you miserable?

(Xander waves his hands in front of the now blind Giles' face) Giles: Stop whatever you're doing! Your hands smell like fruit roll-ups!

Xander: We don't need any more snacks Mom! Anya: I liked the fruit roll-ups.

Buffy: I saw that fear in your eyes when you caught me looking at wedding dresses, and I had to give you a hard time. Riley: I did not have fear in my eyes. Buffy: Yes, you did. You were looking at me like I was a cartoon ball & chain. Riley: So you decided to tell me you were getting married. Buffy: Uh-huh. Riley: So, you're insane. Buffy: Uh-huh. Riley: But you're still single? Buffy: Yes.

Spike: Don't I get a cookie? Buffy: No. Spike: Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth. Buffy: You're a pig, Spike. Spike: Yeah, well, I'm not the one who wanted "Wind Beneath My Wings" for the first dance. Willow: Did I mention about the sorry part? Buffy: We may be into a forgetting spell later.

Willow: Look, cookies! A very not-evil thing I did. Oatmeal? Giles: Yes, very funny. They're chocolate chip. I can see them. I still need my glasses - you couldn't have been more specific and give me 20/20? Willow: Eat a cookie and ease my pain? Buffy: Mmm. Better? Willow: Well, baking lifts about 30% of my guilt. But only 7% of my inner turmoil.

D'Hoffryn: You have much anger and pain. Your magic is strong, but your pain... It's like a scream that pierces dimensional walls. We heard your call. Willow: I'm sorry. I'll try for a... quiet rage. Bye.

Xander: Something about Willow and her griefy "poor me" mood swings. So, so tired of it. Anya: You mean I don't have to be nice about her anymore?

Riley: (about Spike) Who is this guy? Does he go here? Buffy: Spike? Oh, no, he's totally old. Riley: Old? Buffy: Well, not as old as my last boyfriend was. Riley: Okay. It's late. And I'm... I'm very tired now. So... I'm just gonna go far away and be... away.

Xander: Will, not liking the drowning of the sorrows. Willow: Not drowning, wading. Uh, see? Light. No big. Buffy: No big? Anybody remember when Buffy had the fun beer fest and went one million years B.C.? Xander: Sadly, without the fuzzy bikini. Anya: Off topic, Xander.

Buffy: I'm getting married. Can you believe it? Riley: I don't think "no" is a strong enough word. Buffy: I know, it's crazy. I mean, we fought for all those years, and then... Sometimes you just look at someone, and... you know. You know? Riley: No. Buffy: I think maybe we fought because we couldn't admit how we really felt about each other. Riley: Can we start again?

Riley: You can have the best time in a car. It's not about getting somewhere. You have to take your time... forget about everything. You just relax... let it wash over you... the air... the motion. Let it roll. Buffy: We are talking about driving, right? Riley: I thought I was.

Giles: We can't let you go until we're sure that you're impotent or- Spike: Hey! Giles: Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we know that you're... Buffy: Flaccid? Spike: You are one step away, missy! Buffy: Giles, help! He's gonna scold me.

Riley: I thought maybe we could have a little spread - sandwiches, maybe some ants. Could be fun. Buffy: We were talking about a picnic? Riley: Oh... so, was that a conversation I actually had or one I was just practicing? Buffy: Practicing? Riley: Okay, yes, I have been known to do a little prep work before our conversations. It's not easy, you know, talking to you sometimes. It's like an oral exam. Buffy: Boy, that's just what every girl longs to hear.

Buffy: (about Riley) I just... feel like something's missing. Willow: He's not making you miserable? Buffy: Exactly. Riley seems so solid. Like... he wouldn't cause me heartache. Willow: Get out. Get out while there's still time.

Buffy: It's just... different, you know? A picnic! First of all, daylight. That's kind of a new venue, Buffywise. And the best part - he said that he would bring all the food, so all I have to do is show up and eat. Those are two things I'm really good at. Willow: So he's nice? Buffy: Very, very. Willow: And there's sparkage? Buffy: Yeah. He's... have you seen his arms? Those are... good arms to have.

Buffy: Shut up or I swear... Spike: Swear what? You are not going to do any thing to me, you don't have the stones. Buffy: Oh I got the stones, I got a whole bunch of... stones Spike: Yeah? You are all talk. Buffy: Giles! I accidentally killed Spike! That's ok, right?

Xander: Spike! He's all untied! (looking at Buffy and Spike in the chair) Which you probably noticed.

Buffy: Honey, we need to talk about the invitations. Now do you want to be William the bloody or just Spike? 'Cause either way it's going to look majorly weird. Spike: Whereas the name "Buffy" gives it that touch of classic elegance. Buffy: What's wrong with "Buffy"? Giles: Oh, such a good question.

Buffy: Spike and I are getting married! Xander: How? What? How? Giles: Three excellent questions.

Buffy: It's just so sudden! I don't know what to say! Spike: Just say yes. Make me the happiest man on Earth. Buffy: Oh Spike! Of course it's yes!

Buffy: Look at my poor neck! All bare and tender and exposed. All that blood just pumping away. Spike: Oh gees, Giles, make her stop!

Buffy: You know what? I think you don't want us to let you go. Maybe we made it too comfy here. Spike: Comfy? Do I look comfy? I'm chained in a bathtub drinking pig's blood from a novelty mug. Doesn't rate huge in the Zagat's guide.

Buffy: Is there something you want to tell me?buffy gestures to the sign that the Riley was helping to put up that just happens to say Lesbian...in big bold letters. Riley: Oh, yes. I am a lesbian.

Spike: Passions is on! Timmy's down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it I'll... Giles: You'll what!? Lick me to death!?

Buffy: You think I don't live with the shadow of Drusilla over my head. Like you won't be thinking of her when you're making sweet love to me.

Spike: This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.