Buffy the Vampire Slayer

STORYTELLER

The Good;
The wonderful Andrew in the kitchen fantasy sequence, all the straight to camera stuff and Spike's conceit towards the camera. The hilarious 'We are gods' sequence complete with unicorn. But who cares because the Cheese Man from Restless is back!

The Bad;
Do we really believe that Andrew can read an ancient demon language and yet doesn't bother to translate what's on the knife? Wouldn't the Invisible Girl be a useful ally against the First? Or does it matter as the Bringers are blind anyway? Andrew says that Buffy has no steak knives, so what did she stab the Queller demon with?

Best line;
Andrew (describing Dawn); "Bubbly and sweet with a hunger for fun and a smile that lights up the room"

Women good/men bad;
Possessed Wood refers to Buffy as a whore for screwing Spike

Jeez!;
According to Willow's research Greek cookbooks like to use goat's tongues. Let's hope the Supersizers don't get around to ancient Greece, I doubt even Sue and Giles could eat that (Giles Coren that is, not Rupert Giles). Exploding heads too although that's just implied.

Kinky dinky;
Buffy apparently dreams of running for the bus whilst naked. Oddly whilst much of this ep confirms our suspicions of Andrew as gay he glosses over cute but unconventionally pretty Amanda in the kitchen scene for the blonde bimbo whose name he doesn't even know, a very hetero male thing to do. Anya is suspicious as to what Andrew is doing by himself in the bathroom with a video camera. She suggests that the rest of the Scoobies just masturbate in there. Anya and Xander get it on once more, in Spike's bed in the basement! Revenge for Xander having to put Spike up in his basement and closet? Anya comments that she's a 'spitfire' in bed whilst they both agree that this was an act of closure and comment that it's a shame Buffy took Spike's chains down. Dawn wears a remarkably revealing top, showing her now formidable cleavage off to to all.

Captain Subtext;
Willow and Kennedy kissing and totally ignored by Andrew? Hmmmmmm? The Playboy test for heterosexuality (enjoying the thought of 2 or more women together)and he failed it completely. Guess the pair got over the events of 'Get it done'. Andrew also thinks that the tension between Woods and Spike is sexual in nature. Note Spike is topless in Andrew's kitchen fantasy. Andrew also admires Xander's skill with his hands 'Extraordinary' and implies that he thinks Jonathon is cute. In his fantasy Andrew has Warren commenting he's good-looking. Andrew and Jonathon share a bed together whilst on the run. Andrew says that Jonathon promised to buy him a 'burro', Spanish for ass (hopefully the hooved kind?)

Guantanamo Bay;
The Scoobs don't hesitate to threaten and rough Andrew up.

Apocalypses; 7, Buffy says that there are 'hundreds upon hundreds' Turok-Han in her vision implying tens of thousands. Ok, if they got out it would be bad but against 6 billion humans armed with all our technology would it really be the end of the world?

Scoobies in bondage:
Buffy: 9
Giles: 4
Cordy: 5
Will: 4
Jenny: 1
Angel: 4
Oz: 1
Faith: 3
Joyce: 1
Wes: 1
Xander; 3
Dawn; 4
Spike; 3

Scoobies knocked out:
Buffy: 21
Giles: 12
Cordy: 6
Xander: 16
Will: 10
Jenny: 2
Angel: 6
Oz: 3
Faith: 1
Joyce: 3
Wes: 1
Anya;7
Dawn; 5
Tara; 1
Spike; 2
Kennedy; 1

Kills: two vamps killed by Buffy
Buffy: 123 vamps, 62 demons, 6 monsters, 10 humans, 1 werewolf, 1 spirit warrior & a robot
Giles: 8 vamps, 2 demons, 2 humans/1 god.
Will: 6 vamps + 3 demons +1 fawn+1 human.
Oz: 3 vamps, 1 zombie
Faith: 16 vamps, 5 demons, 3 humans
Xander: 6 vamps, 2 zombies, 1 a demon, 2 humans
Anya: 1 vamp and 1 a demon
Riley; 18 vamps + 7 demons
Spike; 9 vamps and 7 demons+1 human
Buffybot; 2 vamps
Tara; 1 demon
Dawn; 1 vamp + 1 demon
Kennedy; 1 human+1 vampire
Amanda; 1 vampire
Woods; 5 vamps and 2 demons

Scoobies go evil: Wood possessed by the seal. Buffy says she never went evil but she did try to kill everyone in Normal Again.
Giles: 1
Cordy: 1
Will: 4
Jenny: 1
Angel: 1
Oz: 1
Joyce: 1
Xander: 4
Anya; 1
Dawn; 1
Buffy; 1
Spike; 1
Wood; 1

Alternate scoobies:
Buffy: 8
Giles: 4
Cordy: 1
Will: 6
Jenny: 2
Angel: 3
Oz: 2
Joyce: 2
Xander: 4
Tara; 1
Dawn;1
Spike; 1
Anya; 2

Recurring characters killed: 14,
Jesse, Flutie, Jenny, Kendra, Larry, Snyder, Professor Walsh, Forrest, McNamara, Joyce, Katrina, Tara, Quentin Travers, Chloe.

Sunnydale deaths; the poor student whose head explodes Scanner's style
105

Total number of scoobies: 30 or so, going to add Andrew to the mix
Xander, Buffy, Dawn, Willow, Anya, Spike, Giles, Kennedy, Molly, Vi, Rhona, Amanda, Chao-Anh, Wood, Andrew plus an indeterminate number of potentials, at least a dozen or more.

Xander demon magnet: 6(7?)
Preying Mantis Lady, Inca Mummy Girl, Drusilla, VampWillow, Anya, Lissa (arguably Buffy & Faith with their demon essences?), Dracula?

Scoobies shot:
Giles: 2
Angel: 3
Oz: 4
Riley; 1
Buffy; 1
Tara; 1

Notches on Scooby bedpost:
Giles: 2; Joyce & Olivia, possibly Jenny and 3xDraccy babes?
Buffy: 4 confirmed; Angel, Parker, Riley, Spike. 3 possible, Dracula+RJ+Shadowman's demon(?)
Joyce: 1;Giles, 2 possible, Ted and Dracula(?)
Oz: 3; Groupie, Willow & Verucca
Faith:2 ;Xander, Riley
Xander: 2; Faith, Anya
Willow: 2;Oz and Tara
Riley; 3; Buffy, Sandy and unnamed vampwhore
Spike; 2 Buffy and Anya
Anya; 2 Spike and Xander

Dawn in peril; 14

Dawn the bashful virgin; 9

What the fanficcers thought;
The erotic adventures of the nerds a staple of much slash fiction.

Questions and observations;
The invisible girl at school is reminiscent of Marcie in 'Out of sight, out of mind', as Joss said it's all about getting back to the first season. Buffy also refers back to The Witch in that everyone hates the cheerleaders and to Amanda's loathing of the marching band in Potential. Unless someone can correct me the last appearance of Warren and Jonathon in the series. The poor piglet is still running around, I'd always assumed the Turok-Han ate it. Suprising that Buffy still let's Amanda and Dawn go to SDH. Note that Jonathon just wants Buffy to stick to her car if she's supermagnetic but Warren more viciously wants sharp things to fly at her. The flesh coloured plaster joke rather reminds me of Bloom County, one of my favourite comic strips, anyone else remember it?
Where do people always get flaming barrel's from? Is there a picket line at SDH? Good thing Buffy had Spike's chip removed or he wouldn't have been able to fight the students. We see how The First forms it's Bringers. The important thing of course is that Andrew doesn't cry tears of pain or fear but of remorse, he's sorry for what he did. Andrew refers to Xander as the heart of the Slayer machine just as he was in Primeval. Can anyone tell me what exactly Andrew mouths to Amanda in the kitchen after he says 'Not you sweetheart'? Buffy mentions running to catch a bus in one of her dreams although she doesn't know where it's going and indeed she does in Chosen (but not whilst naked). Andrew refers to buying the sacrificial knife from a weapons dealer who also sells collapsible swords (like Wes has on Angel) and poison arrows (like Faith used on Angel). Be sure to watch to the end to catch the GrrrArrggh demon singing "We are gods!"
Last appearance of Warren and Jonathon although Adam Busch plays a VERY Warren like character in an episode of Terminator; The Sarah Connor Chronicles.
Marks out of 10; 8/10 Andrew comes into his own.

Anya's done her episode, Willow has had hers, Wood's is up next, so it's the turn of Andrew in a kind of cross between The Zeppo (most everything is from Andrew's POV) and Superstar (everything is slightly skewed).



"Let's explore the world of our story...." Andrew is in his office (the toilet), making a documentary about Buffy and the First Evil, but it's pure fiction, from remembering he was the leader of the trio to misremembering his Season 6 altercation with Dark Willow. He even mis-tells Jonathan's death as something dramatic rather than sordid and horrible. He refuses to take any responsibility for the hellmouth opening ("Due to some circumstances, it came open, a little bit"). It's not just his actions that are seen through a vaseline-screen – the hyper-real shot of Buffy and Spike, hair shiny and muscles a-bulging, contrasts with the everyday mundaneness of raisin bran, steak knives and Potential queues for the bathroom.



Problem is, Andrew's a lot more funny when he is meta-telling the story of the Slayers. "These motivating speeches of hers tend to get a little long", he says about Buffy, and on the Bringers: "they're very mobile for blind people". Meanwhile the apocalypse is incipient ("hell's a-bustin' aout all over") – talking mirrors, invisible girls, fighting boys, possesed headmasters, exploding students, and the two stories tie nicely together as Buffy has to use Andrew to seal the hellmouth that he opened by killing his friend. Andrew has to stop being Andrew in order to stop the Seal of Danzalthar weaving its wacky magic, but it's difficult because Andrew wants to live in the story ("I record, I don't participate"), rather than face reality. He has to admit to his evil deeds, his real evil deeds, not making people magnetic, but the murder that he committed. He has a chance to really be in the gang, to save the day, but he doesn't want to do it. He may be "A man with a burden, a man with a dark past" but he doesn't want to contend with this past, he doesn't want to re-fvisit the hellmouth, he hopes someone else will do the sacrificing while he videotapes it. His imaginary universe means that he can hide from reality. But his lack of perspective (zooming in on Xander's handiwork on the windows rather than Willow and Kennedy smooching) shows he only ever gets part of the story.



The essential falseness of Andrew is also shown through others – he asks Spike to redo his spontaneous angry outburst (perhaps revealing that Spike too is faking his bad boy image) and whilst the film forces Anya and Xander to talk about their relationship, it's not the romantic soap opera that Andrew desires. There isn't a happy ending: they have sex but the couple both admit that the relationship is over. It's not the story Andrew wants, but he ignores this, concentrating only on the romantic speeches.



Andrew misses the Wood story too – in another ambiguous Wood moment, we don't know whether his attempt to stake Spike in the school riot is because he is possessed or because he wants to kill Spike. Unlike Buffy, he is not prepared to give Spike a chance to repent for his sins.



Buffy has to get real feeling from Andrew, real tears, she has to get him to admit what he did, she can't just tell him to cry. "You make everything into a story so no-one has to take responsibility because they're following a script". By frightening and threatening him, she finally gets him to understand what he did: "This is what Jonathan felt" and to accept that redemption is a rocky road, involving penance, not just hanging on the periphery of the gang. He admits that some part of him knew that the First wasn't Warren, that he knew what he was doing in killing Jonathan, that he is culpable.



Andrew thinks he is the storyteller rather than the story but he finally tells his story in the last lines of the ep:



"I killed my best friend. There's a big fight coming and I don't know what's going to happen. I don't even think I'm going to live through it. That's probably the way it should be. I guess I…"



He switches the camera off. His story hasn't ended yet.

Andrew is hilarious as he decides to document everything that happens as the gang prepares to fight the first. He is the kind of character you need when your basiclly bawling over what might happen. He thinks of himself as not part of the gang but an onlooker. Buffy isn\\\'t to fond of him following everyone around but leaves him to it until things take a turn for the worse as he is forced to relive his darkish past. Buffy takes him down to the basement of the school. She holds a knife to his throat and dares to kill him for his blood to close the seal. He breaks down hard as he relizes what he had done to Jonathin. He cries as the memories flood back and his tears close the seal. A classic episode that will have you rolling on the floor.

It was an unusual choice, definitely, to focus your 16th episode of the last season on a reoccurring character, especially one as delightfully inane as Andrew. Then again, it was the perfect choice. He was the best link to reduce to chasm between this season and last - season seven's attempts to separate itself from the displeasing-to-most season six, meant fans that may have only tuned in to the show didn't have that much background. But this leads to asking where said person has been hiding all of these years, and so on, and commenting with many, many much needed tsk tsk's thrown in for good measure.



Tangent? On? A? Me? NEVER!



So, picture it! The events this episode do recall from that season that shall remain nameless, well, they take the piss out of 'em. Man, I loved that. Andrew deflects Willow's power. HIGH-larious! In fact, I have no idea what I was saying above. I had this whole plan of…erm…I dunno, saying how what is at first seemingly filler stuff, ends up being a pivotal reminder, a pivotal, hilarious reminder of what's to come. The end says it all really, when Mr. Entertainer can no long tell his story for fear of what's to come. Very powerful.



I think this review is mostly filler.



~~~~~



The best part? It has to be his re-watchage of Xander and Anya's conversation. Or the billions of other quips throughout. We are gods! Shy bladder! Very mobile for blind people! Andrew is such a quotable guy!



~~~~~



The tears were a lame copout, sure. But, by-gosh, Sarah looked stunning during those moments. Angry Buffy = sexy Buffy. Actually, Buffy = sexy Buffy. But Angry Buffy = very sexy Buffy.

Storyteller was a perfect episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This episode had a classic Buffy feel to it, though it focused on a secondary character, Andrew. His character had a lot of growth and he gave us insight into the every day lives of those living in the house. This episode was done " A Day In The Life" style which was a nice break amongst all the chaos. This episode still moved the season forward, with Andrew closing the Seal of Danthalzar with his remorseful tears. I think this episode is the begining of a new role for him. I can't wait to watch the next episode!!!!!!!

Andrew is by far my favorite recurring character on Buffy. So the fact that they essentially gave him his own little spotlight episode made me especially happy.



Andrew has taken it upon himself to document the final days a la Masterpiece Theater style. He films everyone and pokes fun at everything, from Buffy's speechifying to the plot itself. He gives recaps for the audience, including rewritten flashbacks to actual episode scenes and the Big Board in the basement. He interviews Spike, Xander and Anya, and Buffy, all to hilarious results. My favorite scene, however, is when he films Willow and Kennedy making out, only to zoom in on the window behind them and praise Xander for his masterful carpentry skills.



While all of this is going on, the Hellmouth begins to spillover at the high school. Kids explode due to stress, a girl goes invisible and general chaos ensues. The gang interrogate Andrew on his knowledge of the First and the Seal, bringing up more flashbacks of his time in Mexico with Jonathan between seasons six and seven. Buffy figures out that the only one who can close the Seal is the one who opened it up in the first place. She and Andrew go to the basement and she gets him to break down and admit his fault in Jonathan's murder. He sheds tears, which the Seal needed to close, rather than blood.



It's a fun episode but much more than just filler because it brings up important information on the First and the Seal. But it's also excellent as a stand alone, especially if you like Andrew at his quirky best.

Episodes like these is one of the reasons I love Buffy so much. Amidst all the drama of season 7, its nice to have one of those silly, but very entertaining, episodes to lighten the mood.

Andrew decides to make a documentary for future generations about Buffy and her life, entitled "Buffy, they slayer of the Vampires" "Thats what your calling it?" "I dunno, either that or Buffy, The slayer who knew no fear!"

He films everyone in the house, at first annoying everyone but then it just becomes annoying to Buffy.

Meanwhile the seal in the high school basement is making students crazy and Buffy discovers the only person who can stop it is the person who first awoke the seal, Andrew.

"Storyteller" is the kind of episode that you grow fond of after repeated viewings, at least it is the case with me.

First time around I didn't like it. It seemed really pointless and annoying to me.



But unlike Season 4's "Superstar" that made Jonathan a Bond-type hero and took away from the established cast, "Storyteller" worked pretty well.. Considering all the doom and gloom with the threat of "The First Evil", this brought some fluffy time on screen.

Hidden in all this overall funny story where Andrew uses his camera to tell the story of the Slayer and the Potentials, is some information of what happened to Jonathan and him while hiding in Mexico.



I really like "Storyteller". Andrew is a funny guy. And what I first believed to be an annoying filler episode, is actually one of the best in Season 7. Especially in late Season 7.

This episode is really silly but it feels like a lift after a rather depressing season 7. So far season 7 had been short on the humour and this episode provided that much needed sillyness. So in this episode Andrew sets himself the task of filming the slayer and her friends making a documentary in case she dies. So he recieves a lot of abuse but in the end he manages to get most people on film and Buffy used Andrew's blood to seal the hellmouth one and for all because he opened it. So overall i thought this was a good episode.

It seemed like it's going to be another filler episode, but episode turned into a mild-fun, mild-action, good dialogue and all in all, an adventurous, yet average episode.



It was fun to see everything from Andrew's point of view, but it seems kinda weird filming people like this, during the opening of the apocalypse. We saw some flashbacks which explained some thins very well, but mostly we knew everything. This episode belongs to Andrew, and I'm glad that even he got an episode for himself.



Anya and Xander's reunion was nice to see, but they seem to be finally over each other. I didn't like that. Once again, Buffy had to be tough to show Andrew what he has to do. Also, the tension between Principal Wood and Spike is high. When will Robin finally admit what he knows? Once thing bothered me about this episode too. I'm a Willow and Tara fan, and although Tara died, it's still too soon for Willow to spend her days making out with Kennedy. It seems to me like she's using Kennedy to forget the pain and sadness.



All in all, it was a good episode. Kinda.

Well, this wasn't the best episode. I like it when they do comical eppys every once in a while, because they are always funny and somehow not to be taken seriously - on the other hand they have a lot of true stuff in it. So, this episode wasn't really bad, it was just not as good as the others.



Andrew was being all wannabe-ex-villain again and kept getting on everyone's nerves. Anyway, in the end he learned a valuable lesson and you could see his character change throughout the episode. That was good.



And do you remember that scene with the pig at school? Sooo funny

I love that we got an Andrew-centric episode before the series ended and they did it so well. The episode fit perfectly with his character and I loved listening to all his exposition of Buffy's world and the surrounding things. Expertly done, I thought Tom Lenk brought so much to this episode as well.

I Really don't understand my friendes who's think this episode is boring. But they don't like Andrew either. I like this episode. One of the best in the whole serie I guess. But something i miss is commentary from, for example, Tom lenk, Jane Espenson (She wrote this epsiode, right?) and so on. It is many moments i laught at. When Willow and Kennedy making up, When Andrew films Anya and Xander and the begining of course (And much more!). The end is sad. Poor Andrew (That was what i thought then. I had forgot his past and jonathan) .

The start of this episode is very clever, I love the idea of Andrew as the story teller, he is a very strong addition to the story. The way he leads the entire episode with his camera is amusing but also intriguing, almost as well done as the musical episode, Once More with Feeling 607.

His own additions of what is relevant to the story and who we should care about are truly refreshing after so many episodes with straight narratives.

Also his commentaries, for example on Xander's windows and the sexual tension between Spike and the principal, allude to a bigger issue within himself, but the fact that they have kept this hidden makes a greater affect on the story.

Lastly, I found his own little dream world, where he can add and detract whatever he wants from the story, very effective. As Buffy breaks his dreams and makes him cry we can still remember that for Andrew the story will always be different, he has been on the otherside with Warren and Jonathan etc.

This was, to me, a truly great episode, establishing the importance of Andrew, and also breaking the fairytale feeling of the plot.

Storyteller



The episode has a great story and finally they develop Andrew's character that was mostly just for the fun or annoyance. In this episode they give him a bigger meaning and they explain him and also gives us a reason why we should like him. It's a good episode with some very funny stuff and ends up emotional.



Cut to Andrew on his chair telling a story about the slayer. Cut to her in the cemetery fighting vampires and killing them. But then suddenly he's in the bathroom and Anya opens the bathroom and he tapes it all but she tells him to masturbate like everyone else.



the credits start



Cut to Buffy annoyed because Andrew is filming her. He wants to do a documentary. Anya takes out Andrew and says that filming himself is kinky business. He wants it for the generations but Anya says its pointless. But he says he was going to interview her and then she wants it. Cut to Andrew explaining the story with his board that looks very childish. Cut in the kitchen and he's aping the potentials. Then Spike and Buffy comes in. Then he talks about Buffy and then Spike and then Anya and then a girl he doesn't know. Buffy wants him to stop but everyone else don't mind it. Then Buffy begins with a speech again and Andrew goes out. He says that her speeches are too long so he will talk about himself and he has a dark past and that he was once a super villain. Then he looks back and Willow looks bored and she plays with Kennedy. Then he tells about Dark Willow and makes up something.



Andrew goes back to the kitchen. Buffy goes to school and brakes up a fight. She stops a girl from disappearing. Buffy goes to Wood and she says that the hellhound is re-opening. She says that everything is happening that has already and that it's like war. Cut to Andrew filming Dawn and then he sees Willow and Kennedy kissing but he isn't interested in that. Cut to Xander and Anya and he asked them by filming and he makes them upset and Anya gets upset again and she says that they still spark. They say that he still loves her. Cut to Robin and Buffy in the school attic and they see the seal is unburied again and that Buffy had a vision about hundreds of those vamps. Robin goes on it to investigate it and he becomes evil-like and she stops him and he comes back and he asked what happened and it was because it was controlling him. Buffy wants to talk to the guy who waked it up.



Cut to Spike being filmed and he gets upset and Andrew says that the light wasn't good and then he repeats. Cut to Xander and Anya talking and Anya doesn't want to blame and only asks about love and he says he always will but he doesn't know if that means anything. Cut to Andrew watching it and he is studying it. Then Buffy and Robin arrive and they want to take him with them to the seal. Cut to some students go to worship it. Cut to Andrew and Jonathan in bed and they have the dream of those scary things. Jonathan says he wasn't that evil. Cut to the gang with Andrew asking him questions. Then Jonathan goes to the bathroom and Warren appears. They continue talking and Andrew has the knife and Warren tells him to stab Jonathan and it's like a gift. He tells them to live as gods. Cut back and they grab the knife and ask him the language.



They are going back to the school with Spike and Robin. There is still some sort of war and Robin and Spike have a tension. Then kids attack them and Andrew films it. Buffy and Andrew go in the attic and Buffy tells him to stop. Andrew says he wasn't murderer and he makes up stories. Cut to Xander and Anya in bed after just doing it. They both feel good. They don't know if they should be more. Cut to Robin and Spike fighting some kids and Robin gets the chance to kill Spike but a kid attacks him. Cut to Buffy fighting all those kids and fighting like it's her life. Then She says it's his turn and comes with a knife and he turns off the camera. Buffy says that it understands blood but the blood of the opener is different. She says that people are going to die, maybe her and possibly him. She tells him that he could save the world by dying and she says she keeps making up stories. He says he killed his best friend and he knew it wasn't really Warren and then his tears closes the seal and she lets him fall. She says she wasn’t really going to kill him and leaves. Cut to Andrew saying that he doesn't think he is gonna live through the big fight and that it should be that way and then he turns off the camera.



Black Out

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Best episode quotes:



Andrew: Oh, hello, there, gentle viewers. You caught me catching up on an old favorite. It's wonderful to get lost in a story, isn't it? Adventure and heroics and discovery-don't they just take you away? Come with me now, if you will, gentle viewers. Join me on a new voyage of the mind. A little tale I like to call: Buffy, Slayer of the Vampyrs.

Andrew: It was cold last night, and the wind was crew-ell, but the Slayer had a job to do.

A vampire attacks her from behind, but she flips onto a tombstone and shoots him with a stake from her crossbow. He explodes into dust, but another vampire goes for her. Unfortunately, vampires have a job to do, too.

She backflips off of the tombstone and lands on the ground, ready to fight him in hand-to-hand combat. He pushes her against a tomb. Ouch! My goodness! Things look bad for the Slayer, don't they? She didn't see that second vampire, concealed by cover of darkness, ready- ready to attack and make her his own vampirical spawn. Let's rejoin them now to see-

Anya: For God's sakes, Andrew. You've been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing?

Andrew: Entertaining and educating.

Anya: Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?



Andrew: That was great. I completely got you dusting that guy on film. Hey, why do vampires show up on video?

Buffy: I told you I didn't want you doing that. It's distracting.

Andrew: OK, I'll cut the footage together and do the intro tomorrow. "She was a woman in danger, or was she?"

Buffy: Are you still filming me? Stop!

Andrew: But it's a valuable record. An important document for the ages. "A Slayer in action."

Buffy: "A nerd in pain." Would they like that? 'Cause we could do that.



Andrew: But the story needs to be told.

Anya: Birds need to fly, and girls need to use the toilet, and why were you video taping yourself, anyway? Sounds like kinky business to me.

Andrew: The world's gonna want to know about Buffy. It's a story of ultimate triumph tainted with the bitterness for what's been lost in the struggle. It's a legacy for future generations.

Anya: If there are any. Buffy seems to think that this apocalypse is going to actually be, you know, apocalyptic. I think your-your story seems pretty pointless.

Andrew: Oh, I was gonna interview you later today, 'cause, you know, your whole perspective on the whole thing. Give it editorial balance and, uh, glamour...

Anya: Oh, well balance is important. People don't always take that into account. I could bring that to you. Absolutely.



Andrew: Let's explore the world of our story, shall we? This-uh, Buffy lives in Sunnydale, California. Um, this is the local high school. There's a hellmouth-hellmouth-underneath the high school. See, weird things happen on the hellmouth that attracts all sorts of, uh, bad people and demons and vampires. And now there's this thing in the basement of the high school called the-the seal of Danzal-Danzalthar, and it's sort of a door to the hellmouth. Uh, due to some circumstances it got opened up... a little bit... recently...uh, and this, uh, nasty, nasty vampire thing came out of it. It was, uh, it was just awful, awful. This whole thing- whole thing-is being orchestrated by something called "The First". It's made up of all the evil in the whole world. Oh, there's also these guys. They work for the First. We don't know much about them except that they're very ugly and they're very mobile for blind people. Is that all clear?



Andrew: It's morning in Sunnydale-

Rona: Who the hell's got the low-fat milk?

Andrew: It's morning in Sunnydale, and the women of command central take the time to fortify themselves for the day ahead.

Xander: Hey!

Andrew: Women and Xander. Hey, I'm gonna do your special intro later. "The man who is the heart of the slayer machine."

Xander: Yeah? The heart?

Andrew: Things are tense in command central this morning. Buffy is clearly concerned with some unknown danger, and the air is filled with foreboding.

Dawn: Oh, um, we're out of Raisin Bran.

Anya: I'll put it on the list.

Andrew: That's probably not the unknown danger.

Spike: Look at this place. Damn girls' dorm is what it is.

Dawn: That's nice. Second-hand stinkiness.

Andrew: Full house. I think it's a good time to do some introductions, don't you, gentle viewers?

Amanda: I'm Amanda, and I grew up right here-

Andrew: Not you, sweetheart. Let's start from the top. You've already met Buffy. She's beautiful, with a lion's heart and- and the face of an Angel. She's never afraid 'cause she knows her side will always win. Buffy and Spike have some kind of history-you can feel the heat between them. Although, technically, as a vampire, he's room temperature. Anya, a feisty waif with a firey temper and a vulnerable heart that she hides, even from herself. This lovely girl-I don't remember her name-

Buffy: Oh, for God's sake. Is he doing that again? Can't we make him stop?

Rona: I don't know, if we save the world, it will be kind of nice to have a record of it.

Amanda: If we don't save the world, then... nothing matters.

Kennedy: That's catchy, Amanda. Let's make that our slogan.

Xander: Yeah, it is kinda strange, how you keep saving the world, and there's not any proof.

Anya: Yeah, you know, for future generations.

Willow: And it does help the girls with training-you know, viewing the tapes.

Buffy: Come on. No one else thinks this is idiotic?

Xander: Or is it important? I mean, Buff, I don't get why this is bothering you so much.

Buffy: Because it's a waste of time. Come on, someone has to agree with me. Spike?

Spike: Long as you're not pointing that thing at me, seems like a fine way to keep the boy busy.

Buffy: This isn't about keeping busy. This is about war. I'm sorry to jump all over you guys, but... I have to tell you what's really going on. There's something new. Amanda, Dawn-you're gonna stay home from school today. We can survive what's coming, but not like this. I had a vision of what's to come-a horrible vision. Hundreds upon hundreds of....

Andrew: Honestly, gentle viewers, these motivating speeches of hers tend to get a little long. I'll take you back in there in-in a little while, but in the in-between time, I thought you might want to know a little about me, your humble host. You see, I am a man with a burden. A man with a dark past. You see, I was once a super villain.Thus the validity of the Bronsted-Debye-Huckel equation at low ionic strength has been amply tested, and the charges on the reactant ions are well-known, if their reagents are properly characterized.

Jonathan: It smells funny.

Andrew: I know, kinda sweaty.

Warren: What'll it do to Buffy?

Andrew: Make her super magnetic!

Jonathan: Wow, she won't be able to get out of her car.

Warren: And knives and other sharp things will fly at her.

Andrew: We could walk right by her, and she wouldn't be able to stop us.

Warren: Unless we were wearing metal belt buckles, then we would stick to her.

Andrew: In my plan, we are beltless.

Jonathan: Wow, you're the best, Andrew.

Warren: Yep, and good-looking and smart too.

Jonathan: Yeah, wow.

Andrew: Warren was cool. And wasn't Jonathan just the cutest thing? Well, shall we see if Buffy's still talking?

Buffy: I mean mentally. And from what I've seen so far, there's is no way your girls are ready. You have to...

Andrew: She's not done. Even Willow looks bored, and she usually can take a lot of that stuff. Look at her. Ooh, ooh, do you see that? That-that's important. Willow and Kennedy have been in kind of a bad place lately, but things are looking up. You see, Kennedy pursued the reluctant Willow and won her heart, only to find herself frightened when she glimpsed the darkness that still lies within the witch's mind. Side note-I once had my own personal encounter with Dark Willow.

Dark Willow: Jonathan, Andrew, you boys like magic, don't you? Abracadabra!

Willow holds her hands out toward Jonathan and Andrew, and black light shoots out of her palms toward them. A panicked Jonathan hides behind cool, calm Andrew.

Jonathan: Yee!

Andrew: Haltem!

Dark Willow: OK, didn't see that coming.

Andrew: That's because we have power you can't imagine.

Jonathan: We do?

Andrew: You, Dark Willow, wield a force of mighty evil, it's true. But you are new to the game, little one.

Dark Willow: You know what they say. If at first, you don't succeed...

Jonathan: Holy cats! Here it comes again.

Andrew: I deflect thy power.

Dark Willow: Damn, that is one effective counter spell.

Andrew: Thank you, little one. Thank you. She was something. Indeed she was. Hey, I think Buffy stopped talking. That usually means she had to go to work. Let's see what the little locusts left for breakfast, shall we?



Andrew: This is Xander and Anya Interview Number 1 for "Buffy, a Slayer of the Vampyrs."

Anya: That's what you're calling it?

Andrew: Either that or "Buffy, the Slayer Who Knew No Fear."

Xander: I like that one.

Andrew: Thank you, Xander. That's sweet of you. I understand that exactly one year ago today you left Anya at the altar. Any comment on that?

Xander: Whoa. What the hell?

Andrew: I just think people will be interested.

Anya: I know I am. What do you have to say for yourself one year later?

Xander: I've apologized enough, that's what I have to say.

Andrew: But you think it was something that called for an apology?

Xander: Well, yes.

Andrew: So you don't think it was the right thing to do.

Anya: Of course he doesn't think it was the right thing to do.

Xander: It was the right thing to do.

Anya: What?

Andrew: Interesting. I think we're getting something here.

Xander: Look, Anya, if I had married you, it would have been against everything I thought was best. It wouldn't have worked.

Anya: But we-we still spark. I mean, I get jealous of you. You get jealous of me. You still love me.

Andrew: Is that true, Xander? Do you still love her?



Anya: You keep dodging the question.

Xander: I don't mean to. It's just-you know how I feel, right? And you were the one who didn't want to keep seeing each other.

Anya: And here's where we hop on the merry-go-round of rotating knives. I blame you, and you blame me, and we both end up all cut to shreds. Please just tell- Do you still love me?

Xander: Yes. I still love you. I always will. I just don't know if that means anything for us anymore.

Anya: Well, I love you too. I don't know if that means anything either.

Xander: Well, it's nice to hear. I'm not gonna find anyone out there like you, am I?

Anya: Doesn't seem likely.

Xander: I guess I'm more replaceable, obviously.

Anya: No. There's no one like you, Xander. You were willing to stand up to danger, even when your hands had no weapons. You were ready to protect me with your life.

Xander: Yeah, I guess we fit together pretty good.

Anya: We fit together great.

Xander: You know, sometimes, I want to be back in your life.

Anya: I hope you know you never left my heart.

Xander: I'm not gonna find anyone out there like you, am I?

Anya: Doesn't seem likely.



Jonathan: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Andrew:.Jesus

Jonathan: Did you have it again? I had it again. That voice...

Andrew: Desme abdo tay deborah. What does it mean? What does it mean?

Jonathan: Let's try looking it up again in the morning in the dictionario. Holy cats, that was terrifying.

Andrew: We're fugitives, haunted by our past, tormented by a message we don't understand.

Jonathan: We're hunted men, driven mad by forces beyond our understanding.

Andrew: We're men of hidden power, tortured from within by-by a voice from out of nowhere.

Jonathan: I don't deserve this. I wasn't even that evil.

Andrew: I thought you were evil.

Jonathan: Yeah?

Andrew: Sure. I respected your ideas for evil projects, and I thought you had good follow-through.

Jonathan: Oh, well, thanks. It's nice that you noticed.

Willow: OK, I think we're getting a little off track here. I don't want to do this anymore. Everyone's staring at me. Just focus on the charm. You have to focus on the charm to pull the memories out.

Robin: Tell us about the seal.

Andrew: But it tickles, and I'm all tense. Can't I have a cool, refreshing Zima?

Buffy: No Zima.

Spike: Shut your face about the Zima. Just talk.

Buffy: You were the first one to uncover the seal and feed it blood. How did you know it was there? How did you know what to do?

Andrew: I-I don't know. Stuff happened. I forget.

Kennedy: So remember. Look at the charm.

Andrew: But, I-I'm not a part of this. I document, I don't participate. I'm a detached journalist, recording with a neutral eye.

Buffy: Andrew! Stop it, or I'm going to smash this camera over your head. Actually, I'm gonna do that anyway, so you might as well talk.

Willow: Stop going off topic.

Andrew: I wasn't off topic. It's gonna get relevant in a second, because Jonathan's gonna go to the bathroom.

Jonathan: I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Andrew: La cucaracha. La cucaracha. La la la la la.

Warren/The First: Did you get the knife?

Andrew: Oh, Gosh. Gosh, I'm glad to see you.

Warren/The First: Me too. You're looking good.

Andrew: Am I? I...probably have pillow creases.

Warren/The First: No, no, it's good. You're a man on the run. You got kind of a wild, desperate thing going. Did you, uh, did you get the knife?

Andrew: Yeah. It wasn't easy. I had to meet this demon guy who sells all kinds of weird weapons and stuff.

Warren/The First: Yeah, show me.

Andrew: Well, I didn't buy them, but there were poison arrows and this sort of collapsible sword-

Warren/The First: Show me the knife!

Andrew: Oh, right.

Warren/The First: Quick, before the shortcake comes back.

Andrew: Oh, it'll be a while. He's got a shy bladder. Jonathan, you OK in there?

Jonathan: Don't talk to me. I'm fine.

Andrew: Pretty knife, except the, uh, the stabbing-I don't-I don't think I can do it. Jonathan has been a good friend to me here in Mehico. He said he'll buy me a burro.

Warren/The First: Oh, you can stab him. It's all part of the plan. That boy's blood is a powerful tribute. It's a-it's a gift to something very big, very important, and ultimately, won't even hurt him. We get a reward. You and me and him too.

Andrew: We live as gods.

Warren/The First: That's right, man. The trio. Living as gods.

Andrew:We are gods. Oh, we are gods. We are as gods. We are as gods!

Warren/The First: There's power in that knife. Drive the words deep into him. It's the only way for us to get our reward.

Andrew: Got it. If I kill him with this knife, we live as gods.

Willow: Wait a second. Go back. What was that part again?

Andrew: You mean this part?We are as gods!

Willow: Not that part. We need to see that knife. There's something there.

Buffy: Kennedy, search his stuff. Find the knife.

Andrew: It's not in my stuff. It's in the kitchen, in the cutlery drawer. You didn't have any steak knives.

Willow: You put your old murder weapon in with our utensils?

Andrew: I washed it.

Spike: What are you looking for?

Willow: He said the First said something about words. "Drive the words deep into him."

Andrew: There was some carving on the blade. I just thought it was a pattern.

Kennedy: Found it.

Willow: OK, you're Mr. Demon-Summoner. How are you with demon languages?

Andrew: Whoa, you were right. It's in Tawarick. It's, uh, like proto-Tawarick. It's really, really old.

Kennedy: But, what's the big?

Robin: We never knew anything about this seal. Now, we know this knife and this language are connected to it somehow.

Willow: Andrew, do you speak Tawarick?

Andrew: Yeah, I'm OK with it. It says, "The blood which I spill, I consecrate to the oldest evil."

Kennedy: Creepy.

Buffy: Will, what're you thinking? You think you can do something with that?

Willow: I- let me work on it.



Andrew: Check out Spike and the Principal. There's something going on there. Sexual tension you could cut with a knife.



Xander: Wow.

Anya: Wow, wow.

Xander: That was nice.

Anya: Certainly was, you carpenter you.

Xander: It's too bad Buffy took Spike's chains down, huh?

Anya: You said it.

Xander: Mmm, I feel good.

Anya: Well, yeah. I'm a spitfire in the bedroom.

Xander: Yeah, I knew we'd always do that again.

Anya: Yeah, one more time anyway.

Xander: Is that what that was? One more time?

Anya: Do you think there should be more?

Xander: I don't know. It was nice. It felt, um-it felt like a one more time.

Anya: I think maybe we're really over. Which is-it's good, right? I mean, now we can move on.

Xander: Sure.



Andrew: She's like a woman fighting for more than life. She fights like fighting is her life. It's like the air she breathes, and she knows she will win because there is no alternative.

Buffy: It's your turn, Andrew.

Andrew: So, you figure, what? I, uh... I stand on the seal, and hold the knife, and command it to stop glowing in Tawarick?

Buffy: Or we could do this?

Andrew: What?

Buffy: Doesn't really make sense, does it? Bringing you here to talk to it. This thing doesn't understand words, it understands blood.

Andrew: Blood opens it. You don't want to open it. Opening it would be bad.

Buffy: Yeah, Willow did a little research. Turns out, the blood of the person that awoke it-you-different kind of deal. It reverses the whole thing.

Andrew: So, how much blood...are you gonna-

Buffy: I don't know. Maybe not enough to kill you.

Andrew: So, this is my redemption at last? I buy back my bruised soul with the blood of my heart. But-but not enough to kill-

Buffy: Stop! Stop telling stories. Life isn't a story.

Andrew: Sorry. Sorry.

Buffy: Shut up. You always do this. You make everything into a story so no one's responsible for anything because they're just following a script.

Andrew: Please don't kill me. Warren said Jonathan would be OK. I trusted him, and I lost my friend.

Buffy: You didn't lose him. You murdered him.

Andrew: I know, but you don't need to kill me. You said we could all get through this.

Buffy: I made it up. I'm making it all up. What kind of hero does that make me?

Andrew: No, you're doing great. Really. Kudos.

Buffy: Yeah? Well, I don't like having to give a bunch of speeches about how we're all gonna live, because we won't. This isn't some story where good triumphs because good triumphs. Good people are going to die! Girls. Maybe me. Probably you. Probably right now.

Andrew: Don't! Please! Don't, please!

Buffy: When your blood pours out, it might save the world. What do you think about that? Does it buy it all back? Are you redeemed?

Andrew: No.

Buffy: Why not?

Andrew: Because I killed him. Because I listened to Warren, and I pretended I thought it was him, but I knew-I knew it wasn't. And I killed Jonathan. And now you're gonna kill me. And I'm scared, and I'm going to die. And this-this is what Jonathan felt. It stopped.

Buffy: Didn't want blood. It wanted tears.

Andrew: Thanks.

Buffy: Sorry, I had to-

Andrew: You-you weren't really going to stab me, were you?

Buffy: I wasn't going to stab you.

Andrew: What if the tears didn't work?



Andrew: Here's the thing. I killed my best friend. There's a big fight coming, and I don't know what's going to happen. I don't even think I'm going to live through it. That's, uh, probably the way it should be. I guess I'm-



----------

Story: 10

Acting: 10

Writing: 10

Picture: 10

Gripping: 9

My Rank: 9

----------

Total: 9.7

This episode is really weird to say the least, when it started I really thought that it was going to be one of those silly episodes when nothing happens, but it wasn't the case.



There are a lot of things that really cracked me up, to name some:



- Anya's "why can't you masturbate like the rest of us"

- Spike playing the bad guy for the camera was awesome.

- The good editing for the last season ending with Dark Willow.

- We are gods... and when it comes up the second time is even more funny.

- Andrew screaming "nooooooo" overdramatically.

- Andrew crying like a wuss with Anya & Xander's love story.

- Andrew overlooking the lesbian kissing to show some of Xander's craftmanship (Anyone who tells me that he's not gay should get a brain revision).

- Although it was really silly and with no real explanation whasoever, I've laughed at the kid exploding over pressure.

- The apparition of the pig an Wood's "I hope that's not a student"



With all that I really enjoyed this episode, it made me laugh big time. And like the time in season 3's "The Zeppo" we see the whole apocallyptic chatter from another point of view. Normally, the speech that Buffy gave to the potentials would be one of the most dramatic parts of the episode. This time, we see Andrew telling some story and we see Willow and Kennedy ignoring Buffy and minding their own business.



There are also lots of comments regarding the earlier episodes of the show, when the plot was much less dramatic (invisible girls, cheerleaders, prom killer dogs, swimming team turned into fish), a nice way to remember that times before the finale.



The relations with the Scoobies also get some attention, we can see that the fight in the last episode (about Willow stealing the life out of Kennedy) is over and Willow has a stable relationship with her. Also, Xander & Anya have their first moment together since their "not a wedding"... they both love each other, but they don't stay together anyway.



At the end the dramatic plot kicks in as Buffy wins his second battle to the First (the first one being the defeat of the Turok-Han in "Showtime") and closes the seal. This whole "i'm going to kill you" thing breaks Andrew and he takes responsability for his actions. He spended every second he had telling fake stories and escaping reality, like if it was all a comic, or a TV Show ;), but this is the time when he finally accept it and doesn't uses more excuses. This is when he finally starts to achieve his "redemption", when he accepts that he killed his best friend (knowing what he was doing) and also accepts the possibility that he may die in the upcoming confrontation.

The episode directly starts good, we see Andrew in an unknown environment where he starts his story (and tries to smoke a pipe :P).

I really like the quote:

'Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us'

It's so Anya to say something like that.

But anyway this is still only the beginning of this episode and the rest is just as good.

We see what happened to Andrew when he and Jonathan fled to 'Megico' and how the first manipulated him.

Later on the episode gets serious and that's what's so nice humour and drama all in one. If you haven't seen this episode, well then..

Shame on you and go and watch it.

God, Jane Espenson sure does love those three nerds! This is the second episode she's written on Buffy in which one of them is thrust to center stage. Andrew has been slightly underused this season. He usually just stands around, making a quip once an episode and Tom Lenk hardly gets to show off his comedic talents that much.



Thankfully, he gets an episode completely to himself with Storyteller, in which Andrew films a home movie for future slayers entitled "Buffy, Slayer of the Vampires" which details the Scooby’s day-to-day life whilst battling the First.



There are tons of hilarious scenes in this episode, from Andrew's preference to concentrate on filming Xander's craftsmanship than to film Willow and Kennedy making out, to him, Jonathan and Warren dancing around in beautiful fields, to a surprise second-long appearance by the Cheese Man.



But, the episode eventually gets slightly boring. There's only so much "funny" re-writing of history that you can take, and the constant re-plays of past scenarios, but making Andrew the hero, just become plain annoying.



Tom Lenk is brilliant and anybody who doesn't laugh at least a couple of times during the episode are made of stone. Though Storyteller does have some very funny moments, it's hardly compelling and, dare I say it, slightly silly.

I have to admit, when Andrew came on as the third part of the Trio, I was skeptical at first. I knew Warren and I knew Jonathan, but here was this guy who came out of no where.



Well he has found a special place in my heart. Tom Lenk is a genius in my book. The seventh season was more enjoyable because of him.



Now for Storyteller, we get an entire episode focused on Andrew. It starts off with one of the funniest scenes, Andrew imagining himself in front of a fire place in huge library, narrating the story of "Buffy: Slayer of the Vampyre" (If you didn't at least giggle at the way he said this, you are deeply disturbed)



This espisode is basically the Scoobies saying to Andrew, if you are going to hang with us, you have to make penance for what you did to Jonathan. And we got to see a different side of Andrew and of Tom Lenk.



Can I just tell you that Tom Lenk made my day in the last season of Angel, in the scene where he sees Spike is back. It don't no better than that.



Anyway, all in all this was a really great episode and definitely one of the episodes I don't skip when I'm rewatching the series.