-
Riley: You know... I wanted to ask you something.
Buffy: Ask away.
(Xander runs in, interrupting them.)
Xander: Buffy! I've been looking all over for you. We need... Need to talk, uh, not here. It's sort of... Unfinished business.
Buffy: Business? Right. Um, excuse us?
Riley: No problem.
(Forrest walks up)
Forrest: Denied.
Riley: It's not like she blew me off. She just left with another guy, that's all.
Forrest: We need you downstairs, anyway. You know, I hate to say it, but they're probably on their way to make crazy naked sex.
-
Spike: I don't understand. This sort of thing's never happened to me before.
Willow: Maybe you were nervous.
Spike: I felt all right when I started. Let's try again.
(He tries, but he can't do it.)
Spike: Damn it!
Willow: Maybe you're trying too hard. Doesn't this happen to every vampire?
Spike: Not to me, it doesn't!
Willow: It's me, isn't it?
Spike: What are you talking about?
Willow: Well, you came looking for Buffy, then settled. You didn't want to bite me, I just happened to be around.
Spike: Piffle.
Willow: I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into. It's always like, "Oh, you're like a sister to me," or, "Oh, you're such a good friend."
Spike: Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat.
Willow: Really?
-
Riley: Did Willow tell you I like cheese?
Buffy: You're a little peculiar.
Riley: I can live with that.
-
Riley: The problem is, what kind of girl is going to go out with a guy who's acting all Joe-regular by day, and then turns all demon-hunter by night?
Graham: Maybe a peculiar one.
-
Willow: Okay, she's wearing the halter-top with the sensible shoes, that means mostly dancing, light contact, but don't push your luck. Heavy conversation's out of the question.
Riley: So what do I do?
Willow: Ask her to dance.
Riley: Right, dance. Wait, no.
Willow: What's the matter?
Riley: I can't dance.
Willow: Then, talk. Keep eye contact. Funny is good, but don't be glib. And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun!
-
Riley: (about Buffy) Well, I guess I like her.
Forrest: You're kind of like a moron.
Riley: So, you... you knew that I had feelings for her?
Graham: Everybody knows, man.
Forrest: Oh, she's peculiar? Dead giveaway, buddy.
Riley: I'm always the last to know.
-
Spike: Forever and ever, mon petite creme brulee.
Harmony: Ooh, Italian!
-
Buffy: Stupid pen. (she ruins her notes) My notes!
Willow: Ballpoints can be tricky.
-
Spike: (about Buffy) I always worried what would happen when that bitch got some funding.
-
Riley: There's definitely something off about her.
Graham: Maybe she's Canadian.
-
Forrest: Check her out. Is she hot, or is she HOT?
Riley: She's Buffy.
Forrest: Buffy? I like that. The girl's so hot, she's Buffy.
Riley: It's her name, Forrest.
-
Willow: Any reaction is ok...except projectile vomitting...but what are the chances of tha...(stops and listens to the 'Dingoes' song that is playing)
-
Riley: I was just hoping you thought I had an honest face.
Willow: I've seen honest faces - they usually come attached to liars.
-
Willow: And if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel.
-
Riley: I'm thinking "how 'bout them Broncos?" won't really cut it.
Willow: Ok, say that I help and you start a conversation. It goes great. You like Buffy. She likes you. You spend time together. Feelings grow deeper and one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops, and it feels like the world is made for you two and you two alone. Until the day one of you rips the still-beating heart from the other, who's now a mockery of the human condition.
Riley: (looks stupid for a second) Yep, that's the plan.
Willow: I figured it was.
-
Xander: No studying? Damn! next thing you'll tell me I have to eat jelly doughnuts or sleep with a supermodel to get things done around here. I ask you how much can one man give?!
-
Buffy: You know, for someone who teaches human behavior, you might try showing some.
Walsh: It's not my job to coddle my students.
Buffy: You're right. A human being in pain has nothing to do with your job. (Buffy walks away)
Walsh: I like her.
-
Xander: I'm warning you, I've been highly trained to put this through your heart. No mercy, no warning.
Harmony: I can kill you where you stand.
Xander: Bring it on, then.
-
Harmony: I am so gonna bite you!
-
Xander: Every man faces that moment, here, now, watching, waiting for an unseen enemy that has no face, nerve endings, screaming and silence, never knowing which thought might be your last...
Giles: Oh... shut up!
-
Xander: Take this.
Buffy: A flare gun? Xander, if I find Spike I'm staking him not signaling ships at sea.