Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Faith: Payback's a bitch. Willow: Look who's talking.

Joyce: You're sure you're okay? Buffy: Five by five.

(Willow behind Faith ready to attack her with her school bag) Faith: Try it, Red, and you'll lose an arm. (Willow backs away frightened)

Spike: What do you need? Xander: Her. Dark hair, yea tall, name of Faith, criminally insane. Giles: Have you seen her? Spike: Is this bird after you? Xander: In a bad way, yeah. Spike: Tell you what I'll do, then. I'll head out, find this girl, tell her exactly where all of you are, and then watch as she kills you. (sees the surprised looks on Giles and Xanders faces and sighs) Can any one of your damn little Scooby club at least try to remember that I HATE you all? Just because I can't do the damage myself doesn't stop me from aiming a loose cannon your way. And here I thought the evening would be dull. Xander: Go ahead! You wouldn't even recognize her! Spike: Dark hair, this tall, name of Faith. Criminally insane. I like this girl already. Xander: (to Giles) We're dumb.

Faith: Thought I'd got to the clean marine, didn't you? He's a cutie. Looks like he could use a good roll in the sack. Buffy: You're not his type. He's not big on sleaze. Faith: He's probably just never tried it.

Joyce: (to Faith) Were you planning to slit my throat any time soon?

Faith: You're thinking, "You'll never get away with this!" Warm? Joyce: Actually, I was thinking my daughter is going to kill you soon. Faith: That a fact? Joyce: More like a bet. Faith: Whoa. You got a pair on you, Joyce. I like seeing that in a woman your age.

Faith: "Ruby Sunset"... "Burgandy Skyline"... "Harlot." Mmmmmmm, way to go Joyce. Now, normally I wouldn't be going for something this dark. But I read in some magazine that eight months in a coma will damage a girl's natural skin tone. Good thing pale is in this year. Or was it last year? Anyway, for real now, I'm gonna ask you something, and you gotta promise you'll be honest and not spare my feelings just 'cause I could kill you. You promise? Joyce: I promise. Faith: Okay. How do I look? Joyce: Psychotic. Faith: Hmmm, I was shooting for sultry, but hey.

Buffy: She's a very dangerous woman. Riley: Okay, I get it, Faith bad. Do I look like I'm arguing? Buffy: Not yet. But you always make that innocent face right before you start. Riley: Figured that out, huh? Damn. Took Mom twelve years to catch that one.

Willow: Thanks for coming with. Hunting for a psychopathic super-bitch is definitely in the above-and-beyond category. Tara: It's okay, really. So, what do we do if we find her? Willow: Run. Flee. Maybe skedaddle. We're not here to engage. This is strictly recon. (Tara stares) What? Tara: You said "recon". You're like "Cool Monster Fighter"! Willow: Well, technically, Faith isn't a monster. And as far as fighting, I'd be lucky to bruise her fist with my face. Tara: Oh. Willow: What? Tara: Face punching. I'm not so good with the whole... (gives the air a few punches) Willow: Swimming? Tara: Violence.

Buffy: I've been looking for you. Faith: I've been standing still for eight months, B. How hard you look?

Buffy: (about Faith) We don't know what she's thinking, what she's feeling... Xander: Who she's doing.

Buffy: It's Faith. She's awake. She beat someone up, took her clothing and disappeared out of the hospital. No-one knows where she is. Xander: I'd say this qualifies for a worst-timing-ever award.

Buffy: You seem a little... somewhere else. Is there anything I can do? Riley: Give me an order. That's what I do isn't it? Follow orders. Buffy: You don't have to. Riley: Don't I? All my life that's what I've been groomed to do. They say jump, I ask "How high?", I get the job done. Just don't know if it's the right job anymore. Buffy: I know how you feel. Giles used to be part of this Council. And for years all they ever did was give me orders. Riley: Ever obey them? Buffy: Sure. The ones I was going to do anyway. The point is, I quit the Council. And I was scared. But it's okay now. Riley: Now, see, that's where you and I are different. I just suck at the whole gray area thing. Buffy: It's a choice. Go back in there and make some changes from the inside. Or you can quit the team, fight demons in your own way. Riley: You make it sound so simple. I don't even know what my way is. Buffy: Well, it's time to find out. Riley: I'm a soldier. Take that away, what's left? Buffy: A good man.

Buffy: He's studying biology - human, demon, whatever he can get his hands on and tear apart. Willow: Learning what makes things work. Xander: I really don't want to be around for the final exam.

Buffy: (about Adam) There's a demonoid killing machine out there, Giles. It doesn't only work the night shift.

Willow: Don't worry, we're sure to spot Faith first. She's like this cleavagey slutbomb walking around going, "Ooh, check me out. I'm wicked cool. I'm five-by-five." Tara: Five what by five what? Willow: See thats the thing, no one knows. Buffy can handle Faith and you're plenty safe with me. Tara: So, um... we recon till nightfall? Willow: Then the ritual hiding begins.

Giles: Perhaps there's some form of rehabilitation we just haven't thought about. Willow: And if not, ass-kicking makes a solid Plan B.

Buffy: Faith, these are innocent people. Faith: No such animal.

Willow: As far as fighting goes, I'd be lucky to bruise her fist with my face.

Xander: Second. It's called a blaster, Will, a word that tends to discourage experimentation. Now, if it were called the Orgazminater, I'd be the first to try your basic button press approach.

Buffy: There's no way around it. Faith is back, and whether I like it or not, she's my responsibility. Willow: Yeah, too bad. That was the funnest coma ever.

Faith: You took my life, B. Payback's a bitch.