Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Xander: So, how goes the slaying? Buffy: I killed something in a convent last night. Xander: In any other room, a frightening declaration. Here, a welcome distraction. Tell us all about the killing, Buff. Buffy: Pretty standard. Vampire staking. Ooh! But I met a Nun, and she let me try on her wimple. Xander: Okay, now we're back to frightening.

Willow: We can come by between classes! Usually I use that time to copy over my class notes with a system of different colored pens ... but it's been pointed out to me that that's, y'know, insane. Tara: I said "quirky."

Olaf: You there. Do you know where there are babies? Spike: (Turns to Xander) What do you think? The Hospital? Xander: What? Shut up!

Willow: It's hard to be precise, though. Alternate universes don't stay put. Trying to send him to a specific place is sort of like... like... trying to hit a... puppy, by throwing a live bee at it. (off everyone's look) Which is a weird image, and you should all just forget it.

Anya: I am a human. And there are many humans who are stranger than me. Willow: Uh-huh, but unless I'm really wrong about crazy Larry down at the bus stop, he's probably not gonna turn Xander into a troll.

Olaf: Bring me stronger ale! And some plump succulent babies to eat!

Olaf: You do well to flee, townspeople. I will pillage your lands and dwellings. I will burn your crops and make merry with your younger, more attractive daughters.

Anya: Humans make the same mistakes over and over. I saw it when I was a vengeance demon. Some guy dumps a girl, she calls me, I exact vengeance, blah, blah, blah. The next year, same girl, different guy. I mean, after you smite a few of 'em, you start going, my goodness, young lady, maybe you're doing something wrong here too.

Anya: Willow's stealing. She's a burglar. Willow: (sarcastically) Right, the cunning, broad-daylight-in-front-of-everyone burglar.

Buffy: I trust these watchers about as far as you could throw them. Giles: Thank you very much.

Willow: (imitating Anya) I like money better than people. People can so rarely be exchanged for goods and/or services! Anya: Xander, she's pretending to be me!

Buffy: So, um... about being a nun... you know, um, with the whole abjuring the company of men? You know, how's that working for you? The... abjuring? Nun: Um... good. Buffy: Yeah, do you have to be, like, super-religious? Nun: Well, uh... Buffy: How's the food?

Willow: Anya, I have faith in you. There is no one you cannot piss off.

Giles: Um, Anya, while I completely trust you, uh, uh, to take care of the inventory and the money, um...dealing with people requires a certain, uh, finesse? Anya: I have finesse! I have finesse coming out of my bottom!

Tara: I'm envious, Mr. Giles. A trip to England sounds so exciting and exotic... unless you're English.

Anya: Xander? If you ever decide to go, I want a warning. You know, big flashing red lights and one of those clocks that counts down like a bomb in a movie? And there's a whole bunch of colored wires and I'm not sure which is the right one to cut but I guess the green one and then at the last second, no, the red one, then click, it stops with three-tenths of a second left but then you don't leave. Like that, okay? Xander: Check. Big bomb clock.

Willow: I wish Buffy was here... (Buffy walks in) Willow: I wish I had a million dollars! ...Just checking.

Xander: I'm gonna run get Buffy. Or maybe you could fight him. Spike: Yeah, I could do that, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much.