Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy: If Riley and I hadn't... gotten so wrapped up in each other, none of this would have happened. Anya: True. Feel shame. Xander: My girlfriend. Mistress of the learning plateau.

Riley: I can't believe it really happened. Buffy: I just had no idea. It's so creepy. (about Giles) He was really singing? Xander: I'd say it was more like crooning. (to Anya) If we grow old together, remind me to skip the mid-life crisis. Anya: Okay. Willow: Come on, you have to admit, it was kind of sexy. Xander: Please stop saying that. I'm willing to offer cash incentives.

Xander: What do you feel? Anya: Upset, afraid of being without you, and a little hungry. Xander: I meant about the house. Anya: Oh. Still haunted.

Giles: When you called to Buffy and Riley, they didn't cry out or respond in any way? Anya: No. They're probably dead. Xander: Unless they were too busy doin' it to answer. Giles: Doing what? Xander: You know, for a god of acoustic rock, you're kind of naive.

Anya: (to Xander) I'm just trying to tell you that we have nothing in common besides both of us liking your penis, and now I don't even have that!

Willow: Horses. Like... big, tall, teeth that can take your arm off horses? Tara: Well, sure. I learned to ride when I was a kid. It's fun. And, by the way, most horses don't like arm very much. Willow: I had a bad birthday party pony thing when I was four. I look at horses and I see really big ponies.

Buffy: I need you to take a look at... an essay... for class. Riley: That essay. right. I'll catch you guys in a minute. There's an essay... gotta look at. Graham: (to Forrest) And I'm the one who got a "D" in Covert Ops.

Buffy: Think about it - who better to bring together a bunch of demon types than someone who's made out of a bunch of demon types? Tara: So, he's, um, bridging the gap between the races. Willow: Huh. Like Martin Luther King.

Anya: Spike! What are you doing? You made me yell really high! Spike: Hey, yeah, I did. I scared you. Gimme money. Anya: I'm not paying you for scaring me. Spike: You're not paying me. I'm robbing you. Anya: Oh, well, that's just ludicrous. You can't hurt me because you've got that chip in your brain. Also, I like my money the way it is... when it's mine. Spike: Grrrr! Anya: Oh, now, come on! You're not even bumpy anymore! Spike: Oh. I was just a minute ago. Hang on. Get me mad again. Anya: Does this really work? Scaring people into giving you their money? Spike: Yeah, it works. Keeps me in blood and beers. Plus, you know, funny - watching the little humans quail. Anya: I'm beginning to understand why you're so friendless. Spike: Look who's talking. I don't see droopy-boy on your arm.

Anya: I don't understand. I'm pretty, I'm young. Why didn't you take advantage of me? Is there something wrong with your body? Xander: There's nothing wrong with my body. Anya: Well, there must be. I saw that wrinkled man on TV talking about erectile dysfunction... Xander: Whoa! Hey! All systems go, here. No function problem, okay? You want sex? Let's have sex. Right here. Hot, sweaty, big sex!

(both speaking angrily) Xander: I'm having fun already! Anya: Me too! Woohoo!

Giles: In the midst of all that, do you really think they were keeping it up?total silence Oh, for a different phrasing...

Anya: A year and a half ago, I could have eviscerated him with my thoughts. Now I can barely hurt his feelings.

Xander: You smell sin? Well let me tell you something lady, she who smelled it dealt it.

Spike: You take the killing for granted and then it's gone and you're like I wish I'd appreciated it more. Stopped and smelled the corpses.

Spike: Hey... I know these guys from somewhere. Anya: Initiative soldiers. They live here. Experiments happen in the lab under the house — that's where they kept you and put in your chip. Let's have fun! Spike: What are you doing? You brought me here? Xander: Anya? What are you doing? You brought him here? Spike: That's what I said, only I hit the "here" part.