Season 1 Episode 2

Assassins Inc

Aired Unknown Apr 08, 1995 on BBC
out of 10
User Rating
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Episode Summary

Assassins Inc
Ros, Ed and Beckett's first customer appears in the form of Irene Campbell, who turns out to have conned Beckett into helping her continue doing her business. Roland Blatty, a friend of Ros' who own the new Bureau of Weapons is trying to put a stop to the devices Irene sells, which have killed countless people. The team race against time to stop Irene and her legal adviser, Morasco and at the same time save Ed from a microbe that is killing him.moreless

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    Carmen du Sautoy

    Carmen du Sautoy

    Irene Campbell

    Guest Star

    Nick Reding

    Nick Reding

    Peter Morasco

    Guest Star

    Matt Patresi

    Matt Patresi

    Ralph Black

    Guest Star

    Robert Morgan (VI)

    Robert Morgan (VI)


    Recurring Role

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (15)

      • Roland: I'm in charge of it.
        Ros: You're kidding.
        Roland: Why?
        Ros: Oh come on, Roland, you couldn't even run the student chess club – they rioted!

      • Ed: Ros is probably dancing on the table by now, pretending she isn't under it!

      • Beckett: She's not 'my friend Irene.' She's a client.
        Ed: Sure!
        Beckett: I never met her before today.
        Ed: It was love at first sight then. (Ed laughs then bangs his head.)
        Beckett: Are you in pain?
        Ed: I certainly am!
        Beckett: Good.

      • Irene: I don't know what to say.
        Beckett: Well, as soon as you make a million out of this little game of yours, then we'll send you a bill!

      • Ed: Don't torture yourself. Anyone, anyone of your reduced mental capacity, would have done the same thing.
        Beckett: Oh, that's funny, Ed, that's really funny!

      • Ed: I don't know whether we're watching a state funeral or a dress rehearsal for The Mikado!

      • Beckett: Admiral Lansdale, he's the government's semi-official liaison man.
        Ed: Why semi-official?
        Beckett: Ed, we can't openly encourage the downfall of another nation, even if they are a bunch of murdering square-bashers!

      • Embassy Man: Your price is very high.
        Irene: But cheaper than a war and cleaner.

      • Lansdale: As far as all that's concerned, I'm just a private citizen with private interests.
        Beckett: With due respect, sir, that's baloney!
        Lansdale: That doesn't sound much like respect to me.

      • Lansdale [ to Beckett ]: The trouble with you people is you get carried away with spy toys. Most of them don't work, and when they do, it's pure fluke if they get the right person!

      • Beckett: They didn't find any trace of the bomb. Well, that you could identify anyway.
        Ed: I hear they didn't find much of the Admiral either!

      • Ros: The Japanese have made a working car that's one inch long. They built every component molecule by molecule.
        Roland: Who're they going to get to drive it?
        Ros: I don't know. They'll probably grow a little bonsai person!

      • Ed: Planting a bug on a naked woman, there's a challenge.
        Ros: Down, boy!

      • Ralph: I looked around one day and realised exactly what it was we were doing. We were designing this stuff like it was for Tom and Jerry, 'wouldn't this be great' you know? 'wouldn't that be a great way to kill someone?' But no one ever gave a thought to the real people who'd be dying. I suddenly did, and she had me out of the door like I was poison.

      • Ralph [ of Irene ]: Did lightning strike her dead yet?
        Ed: No.
        Ralph: Never an act of God when you need one.

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • Ed: I don't know whether we're watching a state funeral or a dress rehearsal for The Mikado!
        Also known as The Town of Titipu, The Mikado is a comic opera by Gilbert and Sullivan. It is set in Japan, hence Ed's comparison to the oriental-style funeral he is watching.