Bunheads Season 1 Episode 17

(Sasha and Roman enter her apartment to check for intruders.)
Sasha: Listen, there's a baseball bat under the couch.
Roman: I don't need a baseball bat.
Sasha: And there's an umbrella in the linen closet. It's got Pretty Pony on it, but the ends are really pointy. You can poke his eyes out.
Roman: (calling to any intruder) Hello?
Sasha: There's a tennis racket by the fireplace, and there's ammonia under the sink.
Roman: So we can disinfect him?
Sasha: Blind him. Then we'll overtake him.
Roman: Unless he found the Pretty Pony umbrella, in which case we're done for.

Roman: (exits bathroom empty handed) There is a very large spider in that bathroom.
Sasha: A spider?
Roman: I mean, we're talking paleolithic horror movie type stuff here.
Sasha: Well, where's my umbrella?
Roman: He took it from me. This is a very serious spider.

(Boo's dad goes into Sasha's bathroom with a sledgehammer to check for intruders.)
Rusty: Oh, geez. What the geez!
Nanette: Rusty, what's happening?
Rusty: It's the biggest spider I've ever seen in here. It's a monster!
Nanette: Well, kill it!
Rusty: I tried. It won't die!
Nanette: Well— (about the rowdy twins) Boo, get the Winkleburns.
Rusty: Ohh, it's looking right at me.
Nanette: Smash it with your sledgehammer.
Rusty: It took the sledgehammer!
Nanette: Well, can you jump out the window?
Rusty: I can't get out the window! It's got teeth!