Burke's Law

A TV announcer is at a hotel poolside reporting on a feat going on at the 57th Annual Magician's Convention. Merlin the Great is performing the most famous act of his career. He has been placed in an sealed, air-tight coffin which was then be lowered ten feet into the pool for five hours, with only enough air for 1 hour. They are bringing the coffin to the surface as the reporter speaks. The hotel house physician is standing by. When the coffin is brought up, spectators gather around and the doctor inspects him. The doctor tells everyone to stand back and reaches for his bag. After working over Merlin, he stands and reports that Merlin is dead. The reporter asks how that can be; Merlin has done the act dozens of times. Was it drowning? suffocation? No, the doctor replies, he was shot.
Burke, meanwhile, is at his doctor's office getting a checkup. When Dr. Johnson enters, she finds that he has placed the thermometer in the mouth of the skeleton hanging near the door. She chastise him, but he tells her his temperature is fine - it's his thumb that hurts (he sprained it opening a wine bottle). Burke asks her to kiss it and make it better. Dr. Johnson replies that they frown on that at the AMA. The call comes, but Burke says he can't leave because he's sick. When he realizes he really does have to go, he asks Dr. Johnson if she'll give him a bed check---uh, rain check. She tells him to soak his thumb and he asks if she makes house calls. Yes, every night after 7. Burke tells her to make it soon, he'll chill the wine and she can open the bottle. She says "hypochondriac" and he says "no, a robust burgundy". As Burke leaves, Dr. Johnson checks her hair and makeup in the reflection of her stethoscope.
At poolside, Burke sidesteps two bikini-clad blondes. A less-than-stellar magician, with southern accent, stops him and tries the "pick a card, any card" routine. He gets it wrong. Les and Tim are checking out the eye chart in the doctor's office. The dead man is Jack Merlin, known as "Merlin the Great", Star of Five Continents. He was shot while in a box under 10 feet of water in a totally closed box. Dr. McCoy, the house physician, is very upset by Merlin's death. He keeps checking his pulse and tells Burke it's way too high. He says that coming to work at the hotel was the biggest mistake of his life. He had a perfectly good practice in Cleveland but wanted to be a glamorous Beverly Hills doctor. He thought he would meet lots of influential people in the hotel, then branch out and become a private society doctor. It's all ruined now; he ended up on TV and they never warned him. His patients won't like that he's found a dead body. Tim asks if he didn't notice the cameras. McCoy tells Burke that at first he thought Merlin was still in a trance, then he discovered the wound and called the police. Then, he groans, that TV inteviewer grabbed him. He says the bullet was fired at very close range, just a few inches. McCoy becomes more and more agitated and goes to the closet, instead of the exit door. Burke advises him to take two aspirin, go to bed, and call him in the morning. McCoy says that's good advice.
No gun was found; in fact, the only clue is a white feather found on Merlin's shirt near the bullet wound. Burke orders them to contact the TV station so he can view a tape of today's events.
WHEN MAGIC IS MURDER, YOUR FIRST QUESTION IS NOT WHO DID IT, BUT HOW IT WAS DONE - BURKE'S LAW
Back at poolside, Burke is approached by Pinky Likewise (it's her real name - her parents were whimsical), who is dressed in her spangled magician's assistant outfit. She asks if Burke is a policeman and tells him she knows something. Pinky had been hired by the hotel the day before to help with all the magic acts. Normally, she's a model. She was first assigned to Merlin but he cancelled their rehearsal because he was too busy and had an appointment with someone named "Miriam". He was very mysterious about it. Burke thanks her and asks where he can find her if he needs her; Pinky asks if he means for business or pleasure. Pinky, by the way, is none too bright; she never gets any of Burke's puns. She tells Burke she'll stay in the auditorium, where she'll be assisting other magicians.
The film of Merlin's trick from KDTV is viewed. Les comments that it feels odd to be watching a murder being committed; Burke says it's because there are no commercials. Burke watches Merlin get into the coffin, and explain to the TV reporter that he will go into a sort of trance (the "shallow breathing" means he will require less air). His last words before being sealed in the coffing are that he will have a major announcement when he comes up. Tim and Les tell Burke that nothing else unusual was observed in the whole five hours of tape. Just to be sure he's not missed anything like a trap door, Burke has the pool drained. At the hotel, Burke passes a magician pulling scarves out of a box; the magician hides his trick when he notices Burke watching. Next, Burke is stopped by the bad magician, who gets the card trick wrong again. He guesses the two of diamonds and Burke has the 4 of spades; the magician can't understand how that can be - every card in the deck was the two of diamonds. Burke tells him he must have cheated.
Onstage, Pinky is "floating" in midair on an oriental carpet. She's startled when Burke enters and says the magician she was assisting went off on a coffee break and left her stranded. She can't come down, because it's against union regulations. Burke decides to go ahead and question her anyway.
NEITHER RAIN NOR SLEET NOR FLOATING LADIES SHALL KEEP A POLICE CAPTAIN FROM HIS DUTIES - BURKE'S LAW
Pinky tells Burke she found out that Max the Mysterious uses a gun in his act; she promises to share her "brainstorm" about the murder with Burke. Burke warns her if she doesn't come down she could be arrested for vagrancy - no visible means of support. Once again, Pinky doesn't get it.
Max the Mysterious is Merlin's rival. Burke finds Max in his hotel room hanging upside down from the chandelier in a straight jacket. It's a new act; Burke can't wait for him to struggle free, so helps him down. He tells Burke that he's the "greatest escape artist since Houdini" and can get out of anything. Burke asks does that include murder. It apparently doesn't include straight jackets, because Burke has to free him. Max hated Merlin and tells Burke Merlin kept stealing other magician's acts, especially his. Max says Merlin would watch Max's act and by the next week it would turn up in his act. He says dozens of other magicians had the same problem and have a motive to kill Merlin. Max's gun was used in an act where he caught a bullet fired from it. He tells Burke that the gun isn't there, but is in for repairs, since the firing pin snapped. He lost the receipt and can't seem to remember the name of the repair shop. Burke threatens him with jail if he doesn't come up with the information; Max says no jail has been built that can hold him. Burke says then they'll make one. Max has no idea who "Miriam" is. He has Burke put him back in the straight jacket and, as Burke leaves, he is still struggling to get out.
At the station, Les finds Burke lying inside the coffing. He is inspecting it; there are no bullet holes in it. The chicken feather is a standard chicken feather like ones used in cushions and pillows. Tim calls from Merlin's hotel room, 416, where he has found a signed picture of "Miriam", and a notebook with "flowers for Miriam" written next to yesterday's date.
In the hotel flower shop, the prissy florist worries that they think he's the killer, then finally tells them that Merlin had a dozen American Beauty Roses sent to Miriam - at the cemetery.
At the cemetary Burke locates Miriam's tombstone (1933-1950) When he tracks down the cemetery caretaker, the man pretends to be wearing a hearing aid but is actually listening to the new soap opera "Life is Worth Living". He tells Burke that Merlin came once a month, every month, to Miriam's grave and always brought flowers. The caretaker keeps getting involved in his soap opera and confuses Burke who keeps getting a mixed story of Merlin and the soap characters. The caretaker doesn't know who owns the plot; he tells Burke they can look it up in the record book. He does wonder. though, who the pretty girl was who accompanied Merlin yesterday - she didn't seem happy. The caretaker says he thinks a cemetery is a heck of a place to bring a date. He doesn't know her, the only people he knows are six feet down, but he did hear Merlin call her Violet.
At a hotel room, Burke knocks twice then enters when no one answers. Once he's inside, he hears a voice coming from inside a large trunk in the middle of the floor. The voice says "nobody here but us chickens" then begs Burke to let it out. As he starts to open the trunk, a woman enters and comments that room service is certainly improving, or is he a cat burglar. When Burke asks if she's Violet, she says "every inch". When he asks about the voice in the trunk, she says that's only "Chloris", pay no attention to her. "Chloris" yells at Violet to let her out, she wants to get a look at Burke. When Violet opens the trunk, Burke sees that "Chloris" is her ventriloquist's dummy. Chloris flirts with Burke, but Violet says that he's hers. Chloris complains that they're always Violet's and the two of them get into a fight. Chloris tells Burke that Violet was with her all day rehearsing when Merlin was killed. Burke tells Chloris she's lying, because Violet went to the cemetary with Merlin. Violet says Burke obviously knows more than she thought, and puts Chloris away. As she does, Chloris tells Burke to watch Violet, she's tricky. Burke says Violet clearly has a well-developed...larynx - she never moves her lips. Violet says try her. Violet tells Burke that Merlin wanted to show her Miriam's grave. She met Merlin at a club a few months ago, fell in love with him and wanted to marry him. However, Merlin told her he was still in love with. Burke wonders if being jilted for a dead woman would make Violet mad enough to kill. Just then, Les stops by and tells Burke that Max has been found unconscious in his room, with the gun that killed Merlin beside him. Les is startled when Chloris' voice comes out of the trunk.
Dr. McCoy has bandaged Max and is treating his headache. Burke confronts him with the gun and threatens to arrest him; at first he denies having seen the gun before, then admits that he had lied and it is his. He tells Burke that the gun was stolen the day Merlin was killed; he was afraid Burke wouldn't believe him if he told him that. Would he leave it in plain sight now if he had something to hide about the murder? Max claims someone knocked him out just as he entered his room. They don't believe him and Dr. McCoy agrees with Burke that the blow was just a glancing one and it possibly was "self-inflicted". At this, McCoy become flustered because he thinks he's starting to sound like a police medical examiner.
At the cemetery, Tim finds the records in a complete jumble. The caretaker says he doesn't like keeping records, then tells Tim that he's just seen an elderly man leave Miriam's grave. Tim runs out just as the man drives off and does manage to get the license number - IDS763.
The lab reports that Merlin was definitely killed with Max's gun. Burke and Tim both discover at the same time that "Miriam" was Max's wife. Tracking the license plate, Burke arrives at a creepy old house, bearing the sign "O.B. Danberry, Psychic Detective". As Burke goes to knock on the front door, it opens by itself, and after he enters, it closes behind him. The house is filled with weird furniture and mystic "junk". A bell rings as Burke enters the maiun room and light glances off a crystal ball on a round table. Danberry enters and asks Burke who he wishes to speak to in the Great Beyond. He deduces that Burke is a skeptic. He says that everything he does is legal; he doesn't tell fortunes but is a spiritualis and "astral investigator". Before checking his crystal ball, Danberry touches a medal to his head and chest. Danberry begins talking to his crystal ball, reprimands it, taps it, and says it doesn't seem to work. Danberry tells Burke it should - it's plugged in. Burke notices a sticker it that reads "Made in Japan" and Danberry says that explains why he's been seeing so many geisha girls. When Burke asks him about his visit to the cemetery, Danberry tells Burke that he was Miriam's uncle and guardian. He says she was very beautiful but frail and delicate. Danberry was against the marriage; Miriam was sickly and not ready for marriage and Merlin was "a common nightclub magician". They couple eloped and they honeymooned in Carmel; Miriam never returned. Danberry says Merlin called to tell him she had died but was very secretive about the reason for Miriam's death. Danberry says he didn't care why she died, she was gone and that was all that mattered. He tells Burke that Merlin acted angry, like he felt that someone was responsible; he seemed obsessed, wouldn't say who the person was, but that he wanted to handle it himself. Danberry says he doesn't want to remember - it doesn't matter who killed Merlin. Burke says maybe the same person killed Miriam.
Pinky is being sawed in half. She had left a message for Burke saying she knows who the killer is. She says it's - OUCH - the magician says "sorry". She tells Burke to talk to the Great Grindle; he had threatened to kill Merlin. She calls Grindle "Mr. Wall-to-Wall Ego", though he has no reason to be. She accompanies Burke to the interview since she is assisting Grindle as well. She tells Burke to be careful because "he's sharp". Grindle (real name Walt Wallego), a professional knife thrower, tells Burke he's "a knife thrower extraordinaire", "a perfect machine" and "a finely balanced instrument". He wondered when the police were going to get around to talking to him. He's scornful of all the other acts and demands respect he knows he deserves. Very temperamental, Grindle keeps throwing knives - even he must continue to practice. After they threaten to take him to the station, he agrees to talk but insists that Pinky stand at the target, while he talks to Burke. Pinky is terrified; Grindle says he never misses, but a talking target will make him nervous. He tells Burke that Merlin was always stealing the thunder when they were on the bill together; the very thought of Merlin makes him angry. Pinky begs Burke not to make Grindle angry. He throws a knife and she winces as it just misses her. Grindle says he's also the finest magician of all time and was about to be elected president of the Prestidigitators of America but Merlin ran against him and, he claims, stuffed the ballot box. Grindle says shooting was too good for Merlin, he would have used a knife. He throws again and Pinky whimpers. When Merlin was killed, Grindle says he was in his hotel room plotting to kill Merlin - it would have been the world's most perfect murder. He's now about to start the blindfolded part of his act. Pinky says oh no. Now blindfolded, Grindle spins around and tells Pinky to talk so he can aim. There's silence, and when Grindle takes off the blindfold, we see that Pinky has fled.
Burke thinks Danberry has suppressed something more than he has told and interviews Dr. McCoy. The doctor says he's not qualified to give psychiatric opinions. He says one usually uses drugs and hypnosis, even self-hypnosis. Burke wonders if asking Danberry to "bring Merlin back" would work; McCoy says that using a seance table as an analyst's couch is bizarre. McCoy has learned about Burke's background and asks him to put in a good word for him with his Beverly Hills friends. When he offers Burke free medical advice, Burke tells him he has a good - a very good doctor already, who knows how to take his pulse.
Les thinks Grindle is the killer on general principle. Tim says it's Max. Burke is sure Miriam is the key to the whole thing. What was Merlin's big announcement going to be? Burke thinks he found out something about his wife's death. He knows who the killer is, but can't prove it yet, so he decides to make a little experiment.
THE BEST WITNESS TO A MURDER IS THE VICTIM - BURKE'S LAW
At Danberry's, Burke and Les arrange a seance. Danberry warns them of the danger involved. There's some confusion as the group tries to figure out how to join hands over the table. Danberry advises everyone to concentrate. He goes into a "trance", as he presses a pedal with his foot. An organ sounds "Ave Verum Corpus". He presses another pedal and the table top flips over to reveal an Ouia board. Burke tells him they use one at headwquarters all the time. Danberry asks the spirit who it is. The planchette moves and spells out M-E-R-; then it goes to X. Burke says it's a high school dropout. Finally the planchette spells out -L-I-N. Danberry calls out to the spirits to send Merlin forth; we see a shadow at the window. Danberry says he feels his presence and points; a chest nearby flies open and scarf flits out and about. Burke asks if Merlin wants his killer caught. Danberry presses another foot pedal and the table rocks violently; Danberry tells Burke this means yes. Burke asks Merlin how he died; nothing happens. Danberry stammers and says Merlin doesn't remember' Burke suggests that rather Danberry is the one who doesn't remember. Danberry says now it's coming clearer. The shadow of a hand with a gun is seen coming through the curtain. As Danberry is about to speak, it fires and shatters the crystal ball without hitting anyone. Burke pulls Danberry into a hiding place and yells to Tim, who was hiding outside all along. Tim runs and catches Dr. McCoy. Burke had figured it all along.
McCoy insists Miriam's death was an accident. He had treated her when she became ill; she was in great pain, so he put her on morphine. He didn't stop the treatments in time, Miriam became addicted, and McCoy felt responsible, so he kept up her supply. She OD'd on the honeymoon; McCoy insists he didn't kill her.
A SYRINGE OR A GUN - THEY'RE BOTH MURDER WEAPONS - BURKE'S LAW
McCoy left town immediately, gave up his practice and wandered around the country. Finally he took the job at the hotel, figuring he was safe. The day of the convention, Merlin spotted him at poolside and was going to expose him. McCoy stole Max's gun; he asks Burke how it have looked - future Beverly Hills doctor exposed on tv. Merlin had still been alive, in his "trance" when the coffin was raised and opened. McCoy had shot him using a silencer and a feather pillow inside his medical bag, while he examined him. The force of the shot blew a feather through a hole in the bag onto the body. McCoy asks Burke if he could please hold down the publicity on the case, it would just kill him. Burke says no, but a jury could.
Back in Dr. Johnson's office, she checks Burke's high blood pressure; he says she's the cause and he prescribes sleep. She removes her lab coat and reveals a slinky gown underneath. They kiss and the doctor says she has high blood pressure too. Burke suggests they make it a little bit higher.