Michael: You're getting the "Take a Bite Out of Crime" award?
Madeline: It's for citizen crime fighters.
Michael: This just happened out of the blue?
Madeline: Well, I mean you know that I'm the neighborhood watch captain for my block. And it didn't hurt that I called in three stolen cars in the last two months.
Michael: You mean the cars I asked you to call in? The ones I stole?
Madeline: They're giving me a plaque. Now, I'm allowed to have one guest at the reception, but you have to dress up because the Chief of Police is gonna be there.
Michael: Mom, I can't be in a room full of cops giving you an award for reporting crimes I committed.
Madeline: Michael, I'm being honored. Do you want me to be the only person there with no family? I mean it's not like I can ask Nate to fly in from Vegas. (Michael's head drops) Noon on Saturday.