Californication

Hank: What do you want? Mia: Oh, I don't know. Peace in the Middle East, two hour orgasms, a few pages of your lesser work. Hank: That is not possible. There's no such thing as a two hour orgasm or my lesser work. You're shit out of luck, no.

Mia: (Voiceover) "Rome is burning", he said as he poured himself another drink, "yet here I am knee deep in a river of pussy." "Here it comes", she said to herself, another self-centered whiskey soaked guy talking about how f***ing great everything was in the past and about how all us poor souls born too late to see the Rolling Stones at where ever or snort the good coke they had at Studio 54. How we all just missed out on practically everything worth living for, and the worst part was, she agreed with him. "Here we are", she thought, at the edge of the world, and all of us are so desperate to feel something, anything that we keep falling into each other and f***ing our way towards the end of days.

Karen: What would you do if our little spawn actually became, like, a rock star? Hank: I would be really proud of her. Karen: You would? Hank: And I would be there to help pump her stomach when she OD'd.

Hank: What is your name, by the way? Beach Girl: Wouldn't you rather just f*** me and never know? Hank: Oh, f***. Who says romance is dead?!

Marcy: (To Charlie in bed, about bondage) So...you want me to beat the crap out of you?!

Beach Girl: Do you know anything about wine? Hank: Wine is fine but whiskey is quicker.