Californication

Hank: Are you questioning things? Are you having doubts? Karen: I question everything, it's very healthy. Hank: It is very healthy, but if you are questioning things and having doubts, maybe you shouldn't just, you know, rush into the wedding. Maybe you should postpone the fucking wedding. What's the rush? Karen: I can't do that. Hank: Look, I never said that you had to choose between me and William the Conqueror. I...I just think you can't run off and marry a guy after making sweet love to yours truly.

Marcy: Wait, what kind of ring did Bill get you again? Oh that's right, none. Karen: It's on order, okay? It's, it's, it's very special. It's a Canadian diamond. Yes. Marcy: Ooh. Are they good with the diamonds, the Canadians? I thought just the bacon.

Mia: Are you finished yet? Dani: Hold on. Mia: Ugh. It's just a novella. Are you one of those people who move their lips when they read? Because that can really slow you down.

Charlie: What've you got going on later? Hank: Oh, I don't know... I thought I'd start the day with some dry toast and half a grapefruit, bust out the old computer, bang out 10 pages, maybe go for a run. Maybe I'll just jerk off and go back to bed. Wake me up when you come home.

Hank: What about the Marce? You gotta miss the Marce. I know you miss the Marce, right? That sexy, little smurf was good to you. Charlie: That sexy, little smurf cheated on me with my assistant. Hank: Yes, but you cheated on her with your assistant. First, I might add.

Hank: (To Charlie) Hey, Butterbean.

Charlie: How about this beautiful *beep* weather were having. Hank: Well it looks like another sunny day in hell.