Season 4 Episode 2

Call Me Sir!

Aired Saturday 9:00 PM Mar 08, 1972 on ITV
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Episode Summary

Call Me Sir!
When the KGB gave Callan back to Britain they mistakenly thought he was an important operative. To hide their mistake they may want to eliminate Callan… and Lonely could be part of a trap.

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Alan Downer

Alan Downer


Guest Star

Glynn Edwards

Glynn Edwards


Guest Star

Sarah Lawson

Sarah Lawson

Flo Mayhew

Guest Star

Lisa Langdon

Lisa Langdon


Recurring Role

Paul Williamson

Paul Williamson


Recurring Role

Geoffrey Chater

Geoffrey Chater


Recurring Role

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (17)

    • Callan: How many [assassins] have you got there waiting for me?
      Mayhew: Just one.
      Callan: Well, I'll try not to feel insulted.
      Mayhew: Just one, but a good one.
      Callan: Don't your lot want him back?
      Mayhew: A good one, but not one of ours.
      Callan: Nobody loves a freelance.

    • Cross: Lonely is in that bedroom!
      Callan: A liar, I may be. Kinky, I am not.

    • Lonely: Oh I know, what you'd say is there's worse things happen at sea but then I'd say, people who live in glass houses…
      Callan: What the bloody hell are you talking about?
      Lonely: Oh, I been thinking, Mr. Callan. I been thinking about all the jobs we done together. 'Just get me that set of papers, Lonely.' 'Lonely, be a pal, screw that safe.' 'Lonely, never mind the valuables. Get me that roll of film.' Yeah and then there was that geezer you sprung out of the nick. Oh, I been thinking, Mr. Callan. I know what two and two makes. I can guess where you been for the past… eight months. Russia.
      Callan: Why did you say that?
      Lonely: Because I'm no mug, Mr. Callan. I know how many beans make nine.
      Callan: Well you tell me, mate, how many beans make nine?
      Lonely: No, but, I'll tell you what I think. I think you're a spy!
      Callan: What did you say?
      Lonely: You heard me. I think you're a bleedin' communist spy!

    • Cross: Look, Mr. Callan...
      Callan: Sir. Call me sir.
      Cross: That would really stick in my throat.
      Callan: Then you are going to have to learn to swallow very hard, Mr. Cross. I am dishing out the jobs now, all right? I know which knife to use and I know exactly how to turn it.
      Cross: There's no point in having authority if you don't abuse it.

    • Cross [ on Lonely ]: We've mislaid him.
      Callan: And where have you 'mislaid' him? On some Essex mud flat? Down a disused mine shaft? I mean, where do we dump them these days? Or perhaps there was anther funeral with a phoney death certificate
      Cross: No, that method proved unsatisfactory. They sometimes come back.

    • Hunter: I leave without a particle of regret!

    • Callan [ on promotion ]:Better than some unmarked grave in a pine forest.

    • Callan: You know what that bit of furniture means to me? That's orders that turn my stomach. Lying, cheating, double-dealing, dying… That bloody desk has dominated my life!
      Hunter: Life can look different from the other side.

    • Hunter: Sit down, Callan.
      Callan [ looking around ]: Where, sir?
      Hunter[ indicating ]: Try that one for size.
      Callan: …That's your chair, sir.
      Hunter: Goes with the job.
      Bishop: It isn't a joke, Callan, it's a serious offer.
      Callan: That's what makes it a joke.

    • Bishop [ on promoting Callan ]: It could make him.
      Hunter: Or break him.
      Bishop: No. We'd do that.

    • Bishop [ to Callan ]: You enjoy the vicarious thrill of command. You make correct command decisions – with model soldiers.
      Hunter: Isn't it about time you stated playing with real ones?

    • Bishop [ to Callan ]: You see, you picked a bad time to talk about your future, when it seems as though you don't have one.

    • Mayhew [ of Callan ]: Have you seen him lately?
      Lonely: Not since the last time.
      Mayhew: That's logical.

    • Callan [ on his ideal job ]: Not in the field. I don't mind what I do. Anything. As long as it's 9 to 5 and I don't get killed.

    • Bishop [ on Callan's imprisonment ]: During the period in question your operational supplement was not deducted although, strictly speaking, you were non-operational.
      Callan: Well you see, sir, there were these guards…

    • Callan: It's hardly [my fault], sir. I didn't go into a Russian prison out of personal choice.
      Bishop: Yes indeed, most unfortunate I'm sure. Been a bad year for all of us, one way or another. The pollen count's been dreadful.

    • Callan: Are you alone sir? I was expecting Hunter.
      Bishop: Busy man, Callan. I imagine he would have sent his apologies – if the thought had occurred to him.

  • NOTES (0)