Canterbury's Law

(Judge Stanley is on the phone to his wife) Elizabeth Canterbury: (hangs up phone) I'm sorry. Judge Stanley: You know, I'd hold you in contempt, Canterbury...if I were not eternally grateful.

Elizabeth Canterbury: Hey. Want a drink? Russell Krauss: So, uh, Ethan wasn't in the woods that night, and never saw Jasper hit his son. Elizabeth Canterbury: You need a drink.

Elizabeth Canterbury: You need to put Ethan Foster on suicide watch. Guard: Ma'am? Elizabeth Canterbury: My client, Ethan Foster, needs to be under observation. Guard: I don't have the authority to move him... Elizabeth Canterbury: Listen to me very carefully. The chemical cocktail you have him on is making him worse. If he's not on suicide watch and he hurts himself, I will sue the state. I will sue the county. I'll sue you. So pick up the phone, and get the damn authority you need. (Slams glass) Now!

Russell Krauss: Elizabeth, I can't do this. Elizabeth Canterbury: What, the case? Russell Krauss: No, pee with you standing there babbling at me. Elizabeth Canterbury: (turns on faucet) Oceans, rivers, streams. Oceans, rivers, streams.

Elizabeth Canterbury: How much do you weigh, Detective? Detective McKee: (laughs) Uh, I'm a solid 250, I guess. Elizabeth Canterbury: Judge, I would ask that the officer stand up for me for a second, please. Elizabeth Canterbury: According to your grand jury testimony, you were walking in the woods and you see the ring right at your feet. Detective McKee: Yes, that's correct. Elizabeth Canterbury: I don't mean to be indelicate here. What color are your shoes, sir? D.A. Williams: Objection, your honor! She's ridiculing the witness! Elizabeth Canterbury: It is a legitimate question! How could the detective see a ring at his feet when he can't see past his own belly? D.A. Williams: Objection! Elizabeth Canterbury: Were mirrors involved?

Elizabeth Canterbury: Any lawyer that dodges a sound bite ought to be disbarred. Russell Krauss: There's a gag order, you can't speak anyway. Elizabeth Canterbury: You've known me a long time, Russell. My mere presence speaks volumes.

Ethan Foster: What do you want me to say? You want me to say that I chopped him up and I shipped him across the country? Then I chopped him up and I shipped him across the country! Elizabeth Canterbury: All right, just cut it out. Ethan Foster: What? Well, he wants a confession, right? You want a confession, right? Russell Krauss: You already confessed. Ethan Foster: I recanted! I was forced to say it and I've recanted, and I already said that, you already know that! Elizabeth Canterbury: Okay, okay. Ethan. Shhhh. It's okay. I believe you.

Frank: On second thought, Liz, maybe those earrings are a bit much. Elizabeth Canterbury: On second thought, Frank, I can't see you anymore.

Elizabeth Canterbury: Are these earrings too much? Frank: Did your husband give you those?

Elizabeth Canterbury: I went to law school, passed the bar in several states. I've become a damn vaudeville act. I need ignorant juries. I need them worried. And I need them to trust me. And that comes down to whether this shirt brings out my eyes.

Elizabeth Canterbury: What's the Jasper house, 300 yards or so. I can hit that house with a stone and I throw like a girl.

D.A. Zack Williams: Hey, we found a part of the victim. Every piece we find is one less for your client to bargain with. Elizabeth Canterbury: Zack, did you just reduce body parts to bargaining chips? You did, didn't you? Scandal....

Elizabeth Canterbury: (After being smashed in the mouth by the witness and forced to the floor) The defense rests.