A glimpse into Captain N's past
5.5
"Mediocre"
Why can't we be friends
-- War, "Why Can't We Be Friends"
Over in Metroid, Dr. Wily is working on an android Game Master to vanquish Captain N, complete with Northridge High varsity jacket, power pad and zapper. However, he needs to program the android with a copy of Kevin's worst nightmares.
Cut to a scene of King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard sleeping in hammocks, when a cowbell rings. King Hippo is in the upper bunk. No prizes for guessing how this one turns out. Anyway, they head off to infiltrate the Palace of Power use Dr. Wily's portable brain scanner on Kevin.
Back at the Palace of Power, our heroes are watching "Donkey Kong Jones and the Last Banana". DK is searching for a treasure and sees an "X" in the ground. He digs through the ground and lands in a cavern. where he sees a ginormous banana. He inadvertently triggers a trap and the banana starts tumbling after him. DK runs to the edge of a ravine with the banan about to flatten him. He takes the plunge and lands in a huge ice cream sundae, and the banana follows.
Simon then flips to channel 4212 where they catch a scene of "Wombatman":
Nikki: I just want to know one thing, Bruce. Are we going to try to love each other?
Wombatman: Probably not. Now where did I leave the keys to the Wombatmobile anyway?
Wow. Absolutely pwnz0r3d.
Anyway, the screen starts to go all staticy. Lana picks up the dishes and proceeds to call a repair crew. Really, doesn't the palace have any in-house staff who can handle this? Whatever. Kevin offers to help Lana clear the dishes. Simon seems less than impressed. The doorbell rings, and Simon smacks Kid Icarus aside to answer it. Simon primps himself, you know, just in case there's some smokin' hot chick there. Don't they have cameras on the premises? Or peepholes? Apparently not. Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo, in another fit of clairvoyance, show up in awful TV repairman costumes. The following dialogue is worth recording:
Simon: My, you sure got here fast. Hmm...don't I know you from someplace?
King Hippo: No, never been to someplace. Been noplace special a few times, but never someplace.
Simon: What's wrong with it?
Eggplant Wizard: It's obvious, isn't it, Dr. Boobtube?
King Hippo: Uh, yeah, sure, it's, huh huh, your fooglebies, they've been short-circuited by your bumperwunkies, wouldn't you agree, Dr. Dead Meat?
They proceed into the A/V room for the TV. Duke smells something suspicious, but Eggplant Wizard pulls out a clicker and zaps into several variations of himself and shoos him away. King Hippo tells EW to stop fooling around, grabs the clicker and zaps EW into some blond, dark-skinned chick, then back. They pull out Dr. Wily's brain scanner and turn it on.
Simon tells Lana that the TV repairmen are working on the TV. Lana seems surprised at this, since she just got off the horn with the TV repair crew, who have said that they'll stop by tomorrow. OK, the jig should be up by now, but KH and EW focus the brain scanner on Simon. Simon sees a vision of the Count about to bite him, and Simon starts going into convulsions. Next they aim it at Duke, who sees a vision of himself being chased by a horde of cats. Finally they home in on Kevin, who sees a shadowy figure proceeding to beat him up. Kevin starts to collapse before Lana catches him. EW and KH are about to escape but trip over a wire and fall through the TV screen. EW pulls out a mushroom, which turns into a helicopter, pilots the bad guys to safety and leaves a nice hole in the roof to boot. Kevin remarks that "someone was peeking into my darkest memories. And there was someone from my past...but I can't remember who it was."
Back on Metroid, EW and KH delivers the brain scanner to Dr. Wily. MB rewards them with a bone. Dr. Wily programs the android with Kevin's memories, bringing it to life.
Kevin, Lana and Duke are having breakfast the next morning when Mother Brain interrupts in an apparition and reveals a shadow of the android, which is somehow able to shoot a real blast from his zapper. The android erupts in a really weird laugh and then disappears. In a moment, an emergency call comes in the Com Room. It's Mike Vincent, one of Kevin's classmates. He claims MB sucked him through his TV screen and that he's now trapped on Castlevania. He says "Kevin, come help...please..." and then the call zaps out. Lana says that they've got to go to Castlevania immediately to help out Kevin's friend. 'Cept that Mike Vincent isn't Kevin's friend...he's Kevin's nemesis back home. But they decide to head over to Castlevania anyway.
Our heroes wander down a hall with Duke trying to pick up Mike's scent. That's one lifelike android if it smells like Mike. Soon they run into Mike, who conjures up some monsters from Castlevania: a werewolf, a mummy, Frankenstein, and the Count. Our heroes dispatch the monsters without too much difficulty. They proceed to advance on Mike. Kevin shoots Mike's zapper before Mike has a chance to draw, but unfortunately Mike also has a pause button on his power pad. Mike wraps his arm around Lana and starts taunting Kevin. Ouch.
Okay, that's a *really* powerful pause button, lasting long enough for the bad guys to tie up our heroes, drag them to the top of the castle and sit them around a table. MB reveals that Mike Vincent is an android, and Kevin finally figures out what's going on. But since Mike's such a sporting chap, he challenges Kevin to a one-on-one race through Videoland, winner to be declared the real Game Master. MB just wants Mike to finish Captain N, but Mike tells her to shove it. For once, it's someone other than Mother Brain who eschews a chance to finish the job. Huh.
Kevin and Mike race through Castlevania as a decent cover of "Thriller" plays. Mike grabs an early lead, but Kevin eventually regains it. Near the top of the castle, the Count materializes and shoves Kevin out the window. Mike appears shortly thereafter and zaps the Count back into the coffin, then sees Kevin hanging from the ledge. In desperation, Kevin tries to win Mike over by reminding him of the fun times they had before Mike mysteriously turned into a bully. Apparently before they became estranged, they used to camp out in the backyard, crash girls' slumber parties and leave dead animals on their neighbors' doorsteps. Okay, I made that last one up. Kevin then pleads with Mike, "are Mike and I going to remain enemies, or can we be friends?" I don't know how they missed War's "Why Can't We Be Friends" here; that should have been automatic.
Mike arrives back at the main room at the top of Castlevania. Just as MB is gloating, Kevin arrives and Mike turns on MB. Dr. Wily flips a switch which activates MB's heavy guns; apparently some time ago he had her outfitted with a tank and a couple turrets. She starts firing away and Mike steps in front of a blast for Kevin. Kevin zaps a chandelier from the ceiling, which just so happens to land on the edge of the table and catapults the bad guys through an opening in the roof. Kevin and Mike share a last word before Mike finally shuts down.
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There are a couple big flaws with this episode. First, the writer, as he often does, has the bad guys breaking into the Palace of Power. Naturally, this requires a really lame, hackneyed scheme (the TV repair gig). At least Jeffrey Scott could have come up with some subplot for getting Kevin out of the palace so they could scan his brain. Second, the TV repair gig eats up a lot of time. That's a lot of time that the viewer is forced to spend cringing.
There are some nice qualities to this episode -- we get a glimpse of Kevin's past, and the kiddies get a positive lesson in reconciling with enemies. But all the filler time spent on the TV bit in the beginning leaves not a lot of time left for the good part of the episode.moreless