Not quite as lame as I first thought (which isn't saying much).
4.8
"Poor"
Pressure
Pushing down on me
Pressing down on you
No man ask for
-- Queen, "Under Pressure"
Mother Brain is ranting and raving about her need to acquire more power. Her magic mirror suggests that she acquire the three Sacred Treasures from Mount Icarus.
Meanwhile Kevin is running through a life-size Donkey Kong simulator, jumping over a bunch of barrels and climbing a bunch of ladders to rescue Princess Lana. Doesn't Lana feel slightly undignified sitting in a cage while Kevin plays a game? Oh well. Anyway, MB appears on the palace videophone and proposes a set of athletic events at Mount Icarus to decide the rule of Videoland. Lana smells a rat, but Kevin suggests they play along to figure out what MB is up to.
Both teams start training for the upcoming Videolympics. Simon Belmont is wearing shorts over a pair of sweatpants. I will now light myself on fire.
Mega Man stands in front of a pile of shots and asks Captain N, "what am I supposed to do with these balls?" Huh huh. He said "balls". Huh huh. On the other side, Eggplant Wizard jumps rope with a really soggy french fry. Well, since he only sort of has feet, he's bobbing up and down instead of jumping. Whatever. Back at the palace, Simon, Kid Icarus and Mega Man start arguing over whose face belongs on the cereal box. All in all, a pretty painful 6-7 minutes. At the end, we see the N Team jogging up a stairway, a la Rocky, as a mediocre cover of James Brown's "I Feel Good" plays. And if Lana can really crank out a series of one-armed pushups, the animators really ought to show off her body more prominently.
Ok, so the Videolympics finally begin, and Kevin reminds everyone to keep their eyes peeled for anything suspicious. Meanwhile, MB explains that she's arranged for the events to take place near the locations of the three Sacred Treasures, so that her minions can snag them unopposed while the games are going on.
The first event is Greco tag-team wrestling, Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo v. Kid Icarus and Kevin, names having been drawn at random. For whatever reason, the event takes place in a pro wrestling ring suspended over a pool of lava. Nice. Then an official from the 1972 Olympic basketball championship game declares that there's been a mistake in the draw -- King Hippo is being replaced with Donkey Kong. Nope, not much of a contest.
The second event is a 400-yard dash through what appears to be the Elecman stage, Mega Man vs. Dr. Wily. Mega Man is about to finish when Dr. Wily pulls out one of his toys -- a little ball with helicopter rotor blades that shoots Mega Man, causing him to vaporize as in the video game. 2-0 bad guys in a best-of-five series. Meanwhile, King Hippo enters a dungeon and recovers the first Sacred Treasure unopposed.
The third event is a high dive through a waterfall full of flying sharks, King Hippo vs. Princess Lana. Kevin mentions that there's something familiar about the locations of the events, but lets the thought go. King Hippo starts in a straight cannonball, then pulls a full somersault and triple twist out his ass when the sharks start biting. The panel of Soviet judges awards him a 46.9/50 total. Under pressure, Lana aces the event with a 1-1/2 pike into a tuck with a full twist. Afterward, Eggplant Wizard retrieves the second Sacred Treasure from the bottom of the pool.
The cover of "I Feel Good" plays again as the Count beats Simon in a ski race, Mega Man military-presses King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard performs a pole vault. I guess these all count as one event, which the N Team somehow wins. All square at 2, with only one event left.
Kevin continues to cogitate about Mother Brain's secret plan, but Lana tells him to focus on the last event -- a multiplayer chariot race. Dr. Wily torpedoes Kid Icarus's car, then Wily crashes into a gong. Eggplant Wizard turns Simon's ride into a banana, which crashes. Then Eggplant Wizard crashes into a tree. It's down to King Hippo and Kevin. Kevin hits his "A" button to jet ahead, but King Hippo destroys Kevin's ship with one swipe. Kevin then puts together a hoverboard in mid-air, an obvious ripoff of "Back to the Future II". It's headed for a photo finish, until King Hippo heads into some unknown warp zone. Kevin wins the race, and the N Team wins the Videolympics.
King Hippo emerges from the warp with the third Sacred Treasure, and Kevin finally realizes Mother Brain's plan. A day late and a dollar short, big K. With the "unlimited power" that the three Sacred Treasures provide, Mother Brain's first act is to open up a fissure in the ground and deposit the N Team into the warp zone to Oblivion (which, as it turns out, is much less fearsome than it sounds -- God I hate false tension). That's it, with the story to be finished in "Mega Trouble for Megaland".
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Okay, so it should be clear from the outset that the notion of any sort of non-lethal contest to determine the fate of Videoland is a pretty rotten idea. Even more amazing is that such a patently absurd idea for a plot was actually *repeated* in Season 2 with "The Big Game".
Furthermore, any object that promises "unlimited power" is a plot crutch, and in this episode it completely butchers the plot of the NES game "Kid Icarus". In the video game, the three Sacred Treasures are a pair of wings, a mirror and a laser arrow -- tools which Pit needs to go through the last board. Certainly not things to which one would ascribe "unlimited power".
There's maybe one positive thing that can be taken from this episode -- perhaps it suggests that the N Team got so caught up in the games, and so riled up by Mother Brain's team cheating in the first two events, that they forgot about trying to unearth Mother Brain's secret plan. It's a weakness that the team (Kevin especially) succumbs to in future episodes.moreless