Caroline in the City

Barbara: Hey listen, I have to be honest with you. I'm only coming on to you to piss Del off because he never called me. Richard: Ah, so you do remember him then? Barbara: You don't forget a guy who gives you girder marks on your back. Richard: You plan on keeping this up for a while? Barbara: Yeah. Richard: Works for me. Barbara: You know what would really get him? Richard: What? Barbara: If we slept together. Richard: As long as it's for a good cause.

Barbara: My middle name is Uda. Barbara Uda Gernan, B-U-G. RIchard: Bug. Barbara: All through elementary school, 'Hey Bug', 'How's it going, Bug?'

Caroline: (about her date) That's right. Hiccups, Annie, hiccups. And he makes me take him to the emergency room. Oh, and get this: this guy won't use the phone 'cause he thinks the CIA is using it to track his movements. Ooh, by the way, CIA if you're listening, he's at Saint Vincent's Hospital!

Del: (about a woman at Remo's) Janette...Paulette. Something with an 'ette'. Anyway, we had this major intense evening. See, I met her down at a bar down at the South Street seaport, and I walked her home to Brooklyn Heights, and we...did it on the bridge. On the Brooklyn Bridge! She was in one borough, I was in the other. Richard: That's lovely. Maybe they'll put up a plaque - 'Del Cassidy boinked here'.

Remo: Signor Del, there's a telephone call for you. Del: Oh, Stacey? Remo: I'm not sure, it was a little hard to hear over the sound of the...giggling. Del: That sounds like Stacey. (on phone) Hey! What, you got lost? ... Uh-huh ... Uh-huh. Uh, well hey, these things happen ... No, I understand. Um, good luck...I guess. (to Richard) Okay, Stacey and Sherry are not going to meet us. Apparently they've decided to see...each other.

Richard: Okay Del, they're two hours late. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, we've been stood up? Del: Uh, haven't you ever heard of a little thing called traffic?

Scott: Oh yeah, everything. The capital markets, the money supply, interest rates - all of it is controlled by the Freemasons. Caroline: I wonder when the movie's going to start. Scott: Just avoid staring directly at the previews. You see, they've dropped the subliminal messages from the film, but the previews are loaded with them. I mean, you're watching Steven Segal, but you're thinking Raisinettes, you know?

Del: Hey, can't a guy just come over, hang out, talk about the game...okay, I want something. Richard: Okay, it can't be money because I don't have any...I don't have a car, and the only books I own are for grown-ups... Del: Alright, look. This girl I'm going out with tomorrow night just found out she has a friend coming in from Los Angeles. Richard: Ah-ha, and all the people you know are busy, so you thought, 'You know, that old loser Richard. I bet he doesn't have any plans'. Del: Well, do you? Richard: That is not the point.

Del: Hey, you know what? Forget that frozen stuff. What do you say we go down to Remo's, grab some lunch? Richard: Wait wait wait, you're inviting me to lunch? Did I have a blackout during which we developed some sort of friendship?

Caroline: I don't need a man. I'm perfectly happy being alone. Annie: Well, you'll have plenty of time to be alone once you're in a relationship. That's what football's for.

Caroline: What made me spend thirty-five dollars on a moisturiser made from sheep placenta? Annie: The sixteen-year-old in the lab coat who told you you'd be beautiful.