Maddie: Oh, boo hoo hoo! So you're just going to do nothing? You're going to sit here feeling sorry for yourself, grow old and die?
Richard: You're not a real cuddler after sex, are you?
Maddie: Well, I just watched a ten year marriage go down the crapper, and you don't see me crying, do you?
Richard: Yes, I do.
Richard: Hi, uh, what are you doing here?
Caroline: Uh, me? I just found myself in your neighbourhood.
Richard: Caroline, nobody just finds themselves in my neighbourhood unless they're dropping off ransom.
Maddie: (about the arrival of Caroline) Oh, you're married? Oh, you SUCK! Oh, MEN SUCK!
Richard: No, she's not my wife, she's my boss.
Maddie: Oh, well then you are just pathetic!
Maddie: (about sleeping with him) Well, that was one of the better mistakes I've made in my life.
Richard: Thank you, I think. Although I'll admit I was a little concerned when you yelled 'no' right in the middle of it.
Maddie: Well, I was done! It's usually when I think about having a smoke.
Richard: Oh boy, oh boy, no no no, please, please don't cry. I don't respond well to people crying.
Maddie: Well, thank you for sharing, but this really isn't about you.
Richard: Look, is there someone I should call, like a sponsor or someone?
Maddie: No, she's dead.
Maddie: Would you care for a scotch?
Richard: No, no thank you.
Maddie:I'm going to have one! Special occasion - today is the first damn day of my sorry little life.
Richard: Ah, so that's falling on a Thursday this year.
Maddie: (about quitting smoking) Yeah, cigarettes were just making me tense. So, I finally broke down and got the patch!
Richard: I see. Perhaps you should've gotten a bigger one.
Maddie: This is a very impressive résumé, Mr Karinsky. Thirty years old, and you've spent the last eight months...colouring in things.
Richard: Yes, my mother's very proud too.
Remo: Carolina, to celebrate your upcoming nuptials, a bottle of our finest champagne on the house.
Annie: She didn't say yes.
Remo: That's okay, this isn't our finest champagne.
Remo: Oh, it's okay, it's okay! The occasional cockroach is a sign that the food is fresh. They don't come if the food is not fresh.
Annie: No, Remo, not a cockroach, and by the way, gross! Del proposed to Caroline.
Caroline: I can't work today, I've got so much to think about!
Richard: And of course...you love him?
Caroline: Of course I do.
Richard: Well, look at that. A free day. Well, not a free day, I mean, I do get paid for today, right?
Caroline: I don't know, Richard, that 'It's your life' shot's going to cost you.
Caroline: 'It's your life'? That's a lousy thing to say!
Richard: Why? What's wrong with 'It's your life'?
Caroline: Well, no-one says that when they approve of what you're doing. I mean, no-one ever says 'So, you're going to Princeton and Harvard Business School. Hey, it's your life!'
Richard: Okay, you're right, it was a lousy thing to say.
Del: Listen, Caroline, we love each other, and no matter what happens we keep ending up together. Now, we can keep saying 'I wonder what else is out there?', or we can look at each other and say 'Yeah, but look what I've got right here'.
Caroline: Honey, that's so sweet!
Del: Really? Phew, because the way it was coming out I thought 'Boy, does this sound stupid!'
Del: Listen, Caroline, I meant what I said last night.
Caroline: You mean, 'Untie me, joke's over'?
Del: No. I want to marry you.
Caroline: Oh come on, Del, you didn't really mean that. You weren't thinking straight. All the blood was rushing away from your head to other places.
Del: Come on, Caroline, do you think I'd propose marriage just to get you into bed?
Annie: (about her dried-out Christmas tree) February twenty-second. I guess Santa's not coming.