Caroline in the City

Caroline: I told you it was going to be cold here. Richard: Thirty-one degrees below zero? The electrons in my body have frozen in their orbits!

Caroline:Why aren't you at the hotel? Richard:Bad hotel...pipes froze...no heat...no cabs... (he walks over to the fireplace) Fire, good.

Caroline: What's the dog doing curled up over there in the corner? You told me you had Sparky put to sleep last June. Margaret: Fred? She's asking about Sparky. Fred: Well, Puddin', with your mother off at school, I got bored, so I just went down and registered in a class of my own. Caroline: Um...you stuffed Sparky?

Annie: You know, Richard, you have been moaning on about how you're sick of the city and you can't afford a vacation, and with you a thousand miles away it'd be my vacation too. Richard: Yeah, some vacation. I've seen the ads - 'Come visit Peshtigo. If not you, who?'

Del: Well you know, Caroline, I really wish I could go, but I've got a big date Saturday night. Caroline: I didn't ask you. Del: I know, I just wanted to let you know I have a date.

Caroline: (about her brother) Are you following the breadcrumbs here? I grew up with a saint. Annie: (singing) Must've been cold there in his shadow... Del: Yeah, but you must have him now, right? I mean, Caroline Duffy gets her own park? What can he possibly do to top that? Caroline: Reanimate dead tissue?

Annie: Now Caroline, I hate to ask this, but your brother Chris isn't going to be there, is he? Caroline: No, that's the best part. He won't make it. See, there's this old woman who needs a triple bypass or she won't make it through the weekend. Isn't that great? Annie: Yeah! Richard: I'm hoping that's because your brother is a doctor who can save her and not a mortician who's having a slow week.

Caroline: (reading from a piece of paper) Mayor Paisley, Councilman Hardy, fellow citizens of Peshtigo. Thank you for this great honour. I have many fond memories of this park- Annie: In fact, you have many memories of being fondled in this park. Caroline: That's good, that's good. Del: Whoa, hey, you're not actually going to say that, are you? Caroline: Well, it's not like it was just me. The population of Peshtigo is thirty-five hundred; without that park, it'd be ninety-two.