Celebrity Blackjack

(on hand 21, Giuliana has the lead; Dave, with a 13, is about to reveal his next card) Marissa: (with a $300,000 bet and a 17) Ok, now bust it out! Give me a (bleep) face! Give me a face card! Give me a face card! Giuliana: (with a $19,000 bet and a 14) Get a seven! Marissa: Give me a face card! Giuliana: SEVEN! Matt: Wabbit season! Duck season! Wabbit season! Duck season!

Marissa: (to Giuliana) It's you and me. (Giuliana gives Marissa the dagger-stare) Matt: Yes! Girl fight! Come on, get it on!

(after several bleeps masking the celebrities' swearwords) Matt: All right, but that's enough about roosters. Let's get back to blackjack.

Giuliana: If I win the championship, I will reveal my secret.

Marissa: I don't know what I'm supposed to (bleep)ing do. Matt: You could start by cleaning up that potty mouth.

Marissa: Can you say (bleep) on cable or not? This is (bleep)in' insane.

Matt: You know you have a gambling problem when you reach for your wallet at a celebrity tournament.

Adam: (trying to influence a Joker decision) Her 2 has a stink of failure. Marissa: Oh, does it?

Matt: This first half of the show has set the blackjack world back years.

Adam: (betting $1000) I'm not feeling it. Marissa: You're getting blackjack, buddy. Matt: (a bit later on) And on his $1000 bet, Adam gets a blackjack.

Adam: Is it cool if I bust? Dennis: You can go ahead.

Matt: More ill-advised Celebrity Blackjack play after this.

Adam: I'm drunk, I'm an atheist, I'm angry, I... Matt: Just described half of Hollywood.

Adam: I have to tell those kids there'll be no farting this Christmas.