Celebrity Deathmatch

Keanu: Pop quiz, A-hole. You're on my turf, and there's no way out. What do you do? Brad: Give it a rest, Johnny Moronic. Keanu: Oh Yeah? Well you shut up too, you, guy who was in Seven! Mills: Don't hurt yourself there, son. The fight ain't even begun! Okay, Mario Brothers, let's get it on!

Richard Simmons: One and two and three and four, I'm gonna whack this Tae-Bo whore!

Johnny: Didn't you get insurance on that machine?!? Nick: You told me insurance is a form of gambling! Johnny: I told you NEVER to listen to me when I'm drunk!