Celebrity Deathmatch - Season 3

MTV - Music Television (ended 2007)




Episode Guide

  • Episode 58
    Episode 58
    Episode 25
    1. Beavis vs. Butthead 2. Backstreet Boys vs. 'N Sync A huge fandemonium. Fight Summary: 1 - Beavis vs. Butthead Beavis drinks too many beers and turns into Cornholio... Too drunk from the beers, he slices up Butthead. 2 - Backstreet Boys vs. 'N Sync This fight covered both the second and the third part of the episode, the second part when Nick resurrected them from the dead, and the third part was the fight itself. Here's how it turned out. The Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync each formed a special attack form: 'N Sync by holding each other together and forming a wheel, and Backstreet Boys by forming themself into a giant beast... this is hard to explain... The Backstreet Beast was way superior to the 'N Sync pinwheel, and the beast grabbed Joey and threw him into the wall, crushing his head. But Justin and Chris shocked the beast to death by using some electric wires.moreless
  • Episode 57
    Episode 57
    Episode 24
    1. Sigourney Weaver vs. Linda Hamilton 2. Potato Kahn vs. Cousin Grimm 3. Harrison Ford vs. Samuel L. Jackson Nick and Johnny presents an entirly science fiction lineups this evening, the fights also takes place on a science fiction convention in New York. Fight Summary: 1 - Sigourney Weaver vs. Linda Hamilton Sigourney pops Linda's mucle built arms with a nail, but then Linda writes down "I'm the king of the world" in blood, and makes Sigourney say it. This freaks Linda out since "I'm the king of the world" is the tagline for Titanic, directed by James Cameron, who was married to Linda, but left her. Linda is so freaked out she bites Sigourney in her ear, spins her around, and send her away, and she lands, and gets impaled on a "chest-buster" (plastic hand) 2 - Potato Kahn vs. Cousin Grimm The finale of the freakfights. Cousin Grimm knocks Potato Kahn into the ceiling, and when he falls down, Cousin Grimm holds up a slicer, and Potato is turned into potato chips. The potato chips turns into small versions of Potato, Cousin Grimm stomps some to pieces, but eats a few, which climbs into Cousin Grimms brain... very annoyed with them, he smashes his head with a club, and Potato Kahn wins. (Potato Kahn is seen chained up in the basement episode 404) 3 - Harrison Ford vs. Samuel L. Jackson Harrison Ford brings up a small saw, and slices up Samuel L. Jackson into pieces, and turns the pieces into a little birdhouse. The third fight was supposed to have George Lucas as a guest referee, but after the second fight, he escaped some fans by climbing into an air duct, that led to a garbage disposal, unable to get out, he is crushed right after the third fight.moreless
  • Episode 56
    Episode 56
    Episode 23
    1. Mike Myers vs. Dana Carvey 2. Sandra Bullock vs. Angelina Jolie 3. Woody Harrelson vs. Leonardo DiCaprio When Sandra Bullock and Angelina Jolie fought, a very disturbing brother of Jolie was trying to be a little too helpful for his sister (good luck kiss, mouth-to-mouth when she's winning). At the start, Sandra doesn't act too tough, but then she becomes violent and really starts hammering the Tomb Raider. She puts a bomb in the seat of Jolie's pants, but her brother pulls it out and gets blown up himself. Angelia then fastens her lips onto the polls, drags Sandra towards her by suck in, and slices Miss Congeniality in half with her jumbo lips. Woody Harrelson and Leonardo DiCaprio fought in a jungle-like arena. In the end, Woody knocks Leonardo into a giant venus fly-trap's reach, and DiCaprio is munched up. Dana and Mike were going to use SNL characters, Dana Carvey won by shoving his fingers through Mike Myers skull, and calling himself "the guy who shoves pinkies through skull". The winners are Angelia Jolie, Woody Harrelson and Dana Carvey.moreless
  • Episode 55
    Episode 55
    Episode 22
    1. Sting vs. Phil Collins 2. Warren Beatty & Annette Bening vs. Tim Robbins & Susan Sarandon 3. Ol' Dirty Bastard vs. LeAnn Rimes
  • Episode 54
    Episode 54
    Episode 21
    This episode features ten fights.
  • Episode 53
    Episode 53
    Episode 20
    1. Ashley Judd vs. Wynonna Judd
    2. Carroll O'Connor vs. Sherman Hemsley
    3. Keenen & Damon Wayans vs. Daniel & Alec Baldwin

    1 - Ashley Judd vs Wynonna Judd

    Ashely tried to help her sister lose weight by sucking the fat out through a straw, but Wynonna's girdle broke and the fat rushed down and into Ashley's head... filling it... Ashley trips on Wynonna's leg and falls and her head splashes.

    2 - Sherman Hemsley vs Carroll O'Connor

    The fighters fought in a sitcom set, and they both run up to the second floor, falls down the stairs into the closet, Mills opens the closet, and both fighters collapse.

    3 - Alec & Daniel Baldwin vs Keenen & Damon Wayans

    Alec encouraged his brother to pretend to be an actor... a guy on a hotel who has just been cut off from the bar... he freaks out and sees Damon as a refrigerator and thinking he rips out some beers, he rips out Damon, next he sees Keenen as a tv and throws him onto the corpse of Damon, tearing him to pieces... Alec steps in to greet his brother but Daniel still hallucinates and bites off Alec Baldwin's head.moreless
  • Episode 52
    Episode 52
    Episode 19
    1. Diana Ross vs. Whitney Houston 2. Anthony Hopkins vs. Jodie Foster 3. Charlton Heston vs. Russell Crowe
  • Episode 51
    Episode 51
    Episode 18
    1. Burt Reynolds vs. William Shatner 2. Dr. Laura vs. Ellen DeGeneres 3. George W. Bush vs. Gavin Rossdale Summary: 1 - Burt Reynolds vs. William Shatner After a while, Reynolds rips of Shatner's toupee, then he shoots Shatner in the stomach with a laser, this makes Shatner really thin, and pissed off, just later, Shatner rips off Reynolds' toupee, then he shoves it into Reynolds' mouth, and then he rips off Reynolds' stomach so the intestance falls out. 2 - Dr. Laura vs. Ellen DeGeneres Dr Laura is was superior, until David Crosby jumps into the ring, and feeds Ellen with his old liver, this turns Ellen into a he-woman, very strong, and wild, Ellen starts beating up Dr Laura, and finally she holds dr Laura upside down, and her brain falls out. 3 - George W. Bush vs. Gavin Rossdale Bush vs Bush This fight ends with Gavin plugging his guitar into Bush's ear, and after playing some really high tones, this president's head explodes.moreless
  • Episode 50
    Episode 50
    Episode 17
    1. Brendan Fraser vs. The Mummy 2. Sarah Michelle Gellar vs. The Vampire 3. Zombie Stacy Cornbred vs. Debbie Matenopoulos
  • Episode 49
    Episode 49
    Episode 16
    1. David Arquette vs. Paul Reiser 2. Martin Sheen vs. Michael Douglas 3. Dixie Chicks vs. TLC Lucy Lawless appears on this episode to guest comment with Nick & Johnny. Fight Summary: 1 - David Arquette vs. Paul Reiser These guys were telephone salesmen, so they used all kinds of phones to fight with. It ended with Arquette jamming a cellphone into Reiser's head, and calling it so Reiser's head explodes. 2 - Martin Sheen vs. Michael Douglas In the end, Martin Sheen rips off Michael Douglas' head, puts it on one of the microphones and that's it... 3 - Dixie Chicks vs. TLC First, T-Boz plays poker with Emily, who knocks the table, and it smashes T-Boz's head off. Next Left-Eye jumps on one of the floorboards and Emily is sent flying away and she lands on the piano or something, smashing her head. Then Martie throws several liquor bottles into Chilli's mouth, and finally she jumps on her head, crushing it. Then Martie and Natalie has cornered Left-Eye, but she steps on a rope, which releases a lamp from the ceiling, and it falls down and crushes Martie and Natalie. Left-Eye is declared as the winner, but later, she tries to steal the trophy from Lucy Lawless and she gets hacked to pieces.moreless
  • Episode 48
    Episode 48
    Episode 15
    1. Nick Nolte vs. Eddie Murphy 2. Macaulay Culkin vs. Haley Joel Osment 3. Dave Grohl & Billy Corgan vs. Courtney Love
  • Episode 47
    Episode 47
    Episode 14
    1. James Gandolfini vs. Bruce Springsteen
    2. Farrah Fawcett vs. Drew Barrymore
    3. Robert Downey, Jr. vs. Christian Slater

    Fight Summary:

    1 - James Gandolfini vs. Bruce Springsteen

    These guys fought for the right to name a chain of restrooms.
    They brought restroom stuff into the ring, and finally, Bruce throws James onto a toilet, and James gets stuck.
    Bruce flushes, and the toilet sucks James Gandolfini down, leaving Bruce Springsteen as the winner.

    2 - Farrah Fawcett vs. Drew Barrymore

    Old Charlie's angel vs new Charlie's angel

    Farrah and Drew had fighting like animals, Farrah like a dodo and Drew as a giraffe.
    Farrah uses her dodo abilities to grab Drew Barrymore's head, fly up (stretching Drew's neck), release the head, which falls down, and Drew is torn apart by the hit.

    3 - Robert Downey, Jr. vs. Christian Slater

    This fight took place in an arena decorated as a prison yard.
    Robert kept bribing the guard to do stuff with Christian, but Christian killed the guard, then Christian threw up an item he had in his stomach, a car license plate.
    Also Robert threw up an item - a meat slicer, but then Mills aborted the fight since the meat slicer would be unfair, but Robert bribes Mills and he allows the item, then Robert pushes Christian into the meat slicer, and Robert Downey, jr is the winner.moreless
  • Episode 46
    Episode 46
    Episode 13
    1. Vince McMahon vs. Steve Austin 2. Captain Doody vs. The Undertaker 3. Mankind vs. Ernest Hemingway
  • Episode 45
    Episode 45
    Episode 12
    1. Potato Khan vs. Beni Trauma 2. Mankind vs. Ernest Hemingway 3. James Hetfield vs. Fred Durst Fight Summary: 1 - Potato Khan vs. Beni Trauma First up came the second freakfight, Beni Trauma, A four armed mutant Japanese chef who is assumed to be a fusion of the DNA of Emeral Lagasee and Jackie Chan, and Potato Khan, a Potato with a face arms and legs and a brooklyn accent who is assumed to have DNA of Joe Pesi and Gengis Khan. Beni Trauma was way superior, he slices off Khan's nose and roasts it, along eith some of his insides, and he then cuts off Potato Kahn's arms and legs throws him on the grill, then he puts on some special MSG laden spice, which causes Potato Kahn to grow many tentacles, and he grabs a hold of Beni Trauma and rips off his head. 2 - Mankind vs. Ernest Hemingway After the first fight, Mankind had the ability to fight anyone he wanted too, he chose Ernest Hemingway. Mankind puts a sock on his hand and rips off Hemingway's jaw, and his brain and eyes falls out. 3 - James Hetfield vs. Fred Durst Metallica vs Limp Bizkit These guys fought in metal armor and with electromagnets in the arena, they were pulled in various directions... Finally Fred Durst slips out of his armor and the power of the magnets rips Hetfield in half. But Hetfield is still alive and he grabs a hoover and uses it to blow metal parts into Durst, the magnet fields rips the metal out of him, and he dies. But Mankind appears on the roof of the arena, jumps down into the ring, and with an implosion, the whole arena is sucked into the ground.moreless
  • Episode 44
    Episode 44
    Episode 11
    The line-up was the Rage Against the Machine vs. The Machine, then John Malkovich vs. John Cusack, and the Main Event was Al Gore vs. 'Weird Al' Yankovic. In Rage Against the Machine vs. The Machine, the band was unaware that they were really fighting The Machine, and in the end, all four band members were killed and stuffed into jars. NOTE that Al Gore vs Weird Al took place before John Cusack vs John Malkovitch since the two Johns was gone (into Nicky jr.'s head), At first, in the Al Gore vs. 'Weird Al' Yankovic, Al Gore can't deal any damage personally to 'Weird Al'. But in the end, he pulls the Branch of Executives from his arse, bludgerons the Prince of Polkas, and then kills him by sucking his brains out through his eyeballs. In John Malkovich vs. John Cusack took place in Nicky jr's head, a spoof of "Being John Malkovich". (they enter through a refrigerator door) The fight ends with John Malkovitch using a brain-nerve to electrocute John Cusack. [thanx to Groucho Magmarx for helping me with this one]moreless
  • Episode 43
    Episode 43
    Episode 10
    1. Nick Diamond vs. The Satyr 2. Sherlock Holmes vs. Jack the Ripper 3. Joan Rivers vs. Melissa Rivers The first two fights took place way back in time since Nick and Johnny jumped into the time machine to go look for Debbie, who disappeared in the last episode. Fight Summary: 1 - Nick Diamond vs. The Satyr First on their trip, Nick and Johnny landed in ancient Rome, in the Colluseum. Nick was forced to face the Satyr while Johnny and Julius Caesar commented. The fight ends when Nick showes a roman candle up the Satyr's ass and it blows him in half. 2 - Sherlock Holmes vs. Jack the Ripper Next they landed in 19th century London. The ripper tried to kill Debbie, but she just kicked his ass, however Sherlock Holmes steps in and decides to fight the ripper. It turns out that Holmes is a real moron, he ignores every evidence Watson gives him, Watson gets killed by the ripper, and Sherlock finally sees the killer. The ripper has a couple of knives and stuff inside his coat, and he is about to slash Sherlock when Sherlock ties the ripper's coat, impaling him on all the weapons, and Sherlock Holmes wins. 3 - Joan Rivers vs. Melissa Rivers Nick, Johnny and Debbie returns to the past, and the third fight is on its way: Joan used some of her toxic bultox from her surgery to try to paralyze Melissa, but since the bultox leaves her body, her face prunes up. Just next, Melissa jumps on her mother and by untying a knot of flesh that Joan had tied behind her neck, she dissolves, and Melissa Rivers is the winner.moreless
  • Episode 42
    Episode 42
    Episode 9
    First it's a game show host fight, Chuck Woolery vs. Regis Philbin! The two battle in chairs that contain many deadly traps, and answer questions in 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' style. In the end, Chuck Woolery wins. Next is Napoleon vs. Joe Pesci, a battle of the midgets! Napoleon loses the arm he doesn't keep tucked in his coat, and Pesci loses one of his legs. But then Napoleon pulls out his other hand, which is toxic from being in his coat for several centuries. He shoves it into Joe's mouth, and poisons him to death (if that's how you say it). Napoleon wins! Kevin Bacon wasn't exactly well-informed when he came to the Deathmatch stadium. Thinking that he was going to be able to preform with his brother, Jesse Ventura. (a.k.a. WWF's 'The Body') First Meg Ryan stepped into the ring, they fought for a while, and then Kevin threw her out off the ring, and she got impaled on a sign. Next Martin Lawrence appeared, however he was dressed in way too many clothes, so he collapsed in the ring, and Kevin jumped on Martin's head, crushing it. Finally Jesse Ventura enters the rings ands starts beating the crap out of Kevin Bacon. When Kevin, sore and confused, questions Nick Diamond and finds out the truth (that they won't let him sing), he becomes very, VERY angry! He turns around, and then kills Jesse Ventura by punching a hole into him, climbing into him, and then ripping him into two pieces! [thanx to Groucho Magmarx for this one]moreless
  • Episode 41
    Episode 41
    Episode 8
    1. Heather Locklear vs. Pamela Anderson Lee 2. Axl Rose vs. Slash Main Event: Jeff Gordon vs. Dale Earnhardt Summaries: 1. Heather Locklear vs. Pamela Anderson Lee Pamela did enter the ring with a little surprise - atomic breast implants. She reveals her breasts, and fires out laser like shots towards Heather, that burns off her skin on her legs and one arm... but then Pamela's chest malfunctions, and she explodes, leaving Heather Locklear as the winner 2. Axl Rose vs. Slash Axl scalps Slash, and after torturing Slash for a little bit, mixes his brains with a blender. But this turns Slash into a vicious, psycotic man with the intelligence of a child. He takes the scissors Rose used to cut his hair, and snips Axl Rose into nothing more than paper dolls (flesh dolls?). Main Event: Jeff Gordon vs. Dale Earnhardt The arena was like a race track, and both contestants had their own cars that had lethal weapons. Dale crushes Jeff under his car, and Gordon gets stuck on Earnhardt's back wheel. Dale revs up his car, causing the car's back wheels to grind Gordon into pulp!moreless
  • Episode 40
    Episode 40
    Episode 7
    1. Melissa Joan Hart vs. Alyssa Milano 2. Mary-Kate Olsen vs. Ashley Olsen 3. Ryan Phillipe & Reese Witherspoon vs. Jennifer Love Hewitt & Scott Wolf
  • Episode 39
    Episode 39
    Episode 6
    Nick and Johnny are sent to meet the U.S. Congress to argue about the violence on the show, featuring Stone Cold as their defendant. The Congress shows many clips of various violent moments on the show, and Nick and Johnny shows some to defend themselves.
  • Episode 38
    Episode 38
    Episode 5
    1. Kevin Smith vs. Kevin Costner 2. Sharon Stone vs. Kathy Bates 3. Steven Spielberg vs. Alfred Hitchcock Fight Summary: 1 - Kevin Smith vs. Kevin Costner Kevin Smith brings a dog into the ring, it bites off one of Kevin Costner's hands, then Kevin Smith crams Kevin Costner into an envelope and the dog drags it away to a postal office, then we see the mail being delivered.. and dropped in the middle of the ocean, and Kevin Costner is bitten to pieces by sharks. 2 - Sharon Stone vs. Kathy Bates The Battle of the Femmes Fatales Kathy Bates knocks Sharon Stone out with a block of ice, then she puts on a pair of stiletto heels, and stomps Sharon in her stomach, Sharon slips away, and knocks Kathy down, and brings the mallot from "Misery" and smashes Kathy's foot off, the foot bounces and finally, the heel of the stiletto's impales Sharon's head. 3 - Steven Spielberg vs. Alfred Hitchcock Spielberg brings a box into the ring, opens it, and the demons from "Raiders of the Lost Ark" appears, they argue with Spielberg for a while, but since he fooled them, they tear him to pieces, and Hitchcock is the winner.moreless
  • Episode 37
    Episode 37
    Episode 4
    1. Hugh Hefner vs. Larry Flynt
    2. Cousin Grimm vs. Pierce McCrack
    3. Eminem vs. Kid Rock

    First up: Flynt kills Hefner by running him over with his wheelchair, then folding him to the of a newspaper, and then tearing him in half.

    Second: Cousin Grimm wins by ripping Pierce's spine out and impaling him on it.

    The Main Event (Eminem vs. Kid Rock) had Carson Daily to guest referee. In the middle of the fight, Kid Rock has his short partner Joe C. come on to help him out. Joe C. kills Carson Daily, and later on in the fight, Eminem punts him into the air. A fatal mistake, as Joe C. falls down and squashes Eminem. Strangely enough, Joe C. takes control of Slim Shady's body, and when Joe C. gets at mad Kid Rock, he kills him in his new body, leaving Joe C. to be the winner.moreless
  • Episode 36
    Episode 36
    Episode 3
    1. Bryant Gumbel vs. Katie Couric 2. Judge Judy vs. Susan Lucci 3. Tom Green vs. Craig Kilborn Fight Summary: 1 - Bryant Gumbel vs. Katie Couric First up was a thing called "the to-die show". Katie and Bryant fought in a studio-like decorated ring, with Willard Scott casting the weather. After a while, Bryant throws a chair towards Katie, who ducks, and the chair hits an old lady that Willard was interviewing. He gets pissed, and just later, Bryant puts Katie in a bagel slicer, and is about to decapitate her when Willard Scott steps into the ring, he throws Bryant who gets stuck on the weather map, then Willard throw small suns, who works like chinese throwing stars, to hurt Bryant, then Willard and Katie throws Bryant through a glass window, and he is torn into pieces. 2 - Judge Judy vs. Susan Lucci After a few seconds, Judge Judy grabs a bible and smashes Susan Lucci's head so she dies. Mills gets pissed at Judge Judy and they decide to fight. Judge Judy tries to attack Mills, who dodge the attack, and pushes Judy into a chair, a falling lamp electrocutes Judy and Mills Lane is the winner. 3 - Tom Green vs. Craig Kilborn It was a pretty fair fight at first, but after a while, Craig gets obsessed by his picture in a mirror, then Tom smashes the mirror into Craig's face, then Tom sticks a megaphone into Craig's mouth, and when Tom screams very loud, Craig Kilborn's head explodes.moreless
  • Episode 35
    Episode 35
    Episode 2
    1. Britney Spears vs. Christina Aguilera 2. Kenny G. vs. Flea 3. Anthony Edwards vs. Eriq LaSalle vs. Noah Wyle Fight summary: 1 - Britney Spears vs. Christina Aguilera The girls fight for a while, finally they tear each other apart entirely. 2 - Kenny G. vs. Flea Flea rips Kenny G's jaw off and throws it like a boomerang which ends up impaling Kenny's head. 3 - Anthony Edwards vs. Eriq LaSalle vs. Noah Wyle First LaSalle screams into a stetoscope jammed into Wyle's ear, so Wyle's head explodes... LaSalle and Edwards puts Wyle on the operation table and LaSalle stabs him to death. Later Edwards opens LaSalle's stomach and rips out his liver, then he injects the ebola virus into LaSalle, which makes him dissolve.moreless
  • Episode 34
    Episode 34
    Episode 1
    1. Tiger Woods vs. Andre Agassi 2. O.J. Simpson vs. Joe Namath 3. Sammy Sosa vs. Mark McGwire Third deathbowl episode Fight summary: 1 - Tiger Woods vs. Andre Agassi Tennis vs Golf Agassi is way superior to Woods, by the end he starts a ball-throwing machine and it starts spitting out tennis balls, which gets trapped up Woods' ass, until Woods is so full that he explodes. 2 - O.J. Simpson vs. Joe Namath Since torchmaiden Geena Davis didnt appear, they rolled a clip. It ends with O.J throwing Namath up so he gets impaled on the goalpost. 3 - Sammy Sosa vs. Mark McGwire Mark McGwire took some steroids during the fight, but Sammy Sosa replaced them with horse steroids, and when McGwire uses them, his arms explodes, then Sosa smashes McGwire's head off with a baseball bat, and it flies into the scoreboard.moreless