Celebrity Deathmatch

Season 5 Episode 3

Sibling Slaughterhouse

Aired Thursday 10:00 PM Jun 24, 2006 on MTV - Music Television
out of 10
User Rating
27 votes

By TV.com Users

Episode Summary

1. Charlie Sheen vs. Colin Farrell 2. Ryan Seacrest vs. Simon Cowell 3. The Olsens vs. The Osbournes

Who was the Episode MVP ?

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  • "Celebrity Deathmatch" is back on top! :D

    If there is one show in the entire world that my mom hates for me to watch it is "Celebrity Deathmatch!" From 1998 to 2002 I would always watch with anticipation, wondering who the celebrities were going to be, and who was going to die a fake death, and how was the fake death going to be pulled off. It was a show that I really enjoyed and the show just kept getting more interesting with every new season. So imagine my surprise when "Celebrity Deathmatch" got pulled off the air; I was in total shock! I couldn't believe that MTV would pull a great show like that off the air, but four years later, this show has got a reprieve. It has become the second of two animated shows so far to come back on the air after having being cancelled. The first two episodes of this new season was a little bit shaky and still trying to regain its composure, but with this classic episode of Charlie Sheen and Colin Farell duking it out, Simon Cowell doing what he does best, and the ultimate battle between two teen sensations helped put "Celebrity Deathmatch" right back where it should be: on the top of the ratings chart! Where else can you see and hear parodies of the Wonder Twins and "The Lord of the Rings," and see them get totally skewered? This show is the greatest and I hope that this time, it lasts for a far lot longer than just four seasons! :Dmoreless
  • The Battle of the Super Lame!

    The first battle was really not that interesting cause it was two annoying actors going head-to-head. But at least Colin Farrell lost cause if he would’ve won then there would have been something seriously wrong. The following battle was nothing short of dulls ville for me, seeing as I don’t watch American Idol. But it was obvious that Simon Cowell was going to lose seeing as his famous signature is being booed at. But the main event made up for the first two fights. The Olsens vs. the Osbournes a clash of celebrities that can only deserve the title of "Sibling Slaughterhouse." Even though I’ve never seen an episode of The Osbournes, I was still routing for them, because the Olsens are just annoying. It was fun to witness the insults fly. Cause it is true, New York Minute lasted about a minute in theaters and it went straight to DVD. The Olsens really don’t have much a career; they depend mostly on their Full house image to give them money. And afterwards they did sitcoms that went nowhere. But the Lord of the Rings parody was simply amazing. That scene will always be made fun of, just like when ever action movies use the Matrix for their fighting scenes. Nick Diamond is always in some kind of trouble, sadly we never find out what. Like in the first episode of Season 5, why did he have boobs? They made one joke and that was it. I wanted to know if the Loan Sharks ever did torture Nick and for what reason?moreless
  • Fatality review #1!

    Okay, this time, I will be reviewing the fatalities of every match among other things worth brining up. Here I go...

    Fight #1: Sheen vs. Farrell

    I have nothing much to say about the first fight really, except the fatality for Farrell was pretty weak.

    Fight #2: Seacrest vs. Cowell

    I don't watch Am-Idol, but I do know who these guys are. Doesn't everybody? Anyways, I'm glad they got Cowell. His death wasn't too bad. Could've been better, but it's pretty good.

    Fight #3: Olsens vs. Osbournes

    Jack's death was incredible! I know it might be cruel and disgusting for some of you, but I thought it was da bomb. Mary-Kate's was alright, but Ashley's was the worst. I mean, four CDs to the face? Come on. At least they came up with a joke afterwards. I liked the Lord of the Rings reference though, where Mary-Kate acted like Smeagol/Gollum.

    The outcome... the winner for Best Death On This Episode is...


    Sorry, I don\'t even give out Razzies. It\'s not worth it.moreless
Jonathan Lipow

Jonathan Lipow

Jack Osborne

Guest Star

Danielle Judovits

Danielle Judovits

Mary-Kate Olsen, Ashley Olsen

Guest Star

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (21)

    • Mills: (to Seacrest and Farrell) Alright you two, I hear you're both on some TV show. But frankly, if you're not on Gunsmoke, I don't know ya!

    • Ryan Seacrest: Seacrest punches! Seacrest kicks! Seacrest roundhouse!

    • Ryan Seacrest: What are you going to do, Simon? Attack me with more of your rapier-like wit?
      Simon Cowell: That's exactly what I'm going to do. (attacks Ryan Seacrest with his tongue)
      Ryan Seacrest: My face! My beautiful, beautiful face!
      (Simon Cowell punches Ryan Seacrest)

    • Sheen: What the hell is that?
      Farrell: Bar tabs. (attacks Sheen with the bar tabs)
      Sheen: Ok, try some of these arrest warrants on for size.
      (Sheen tosses the arrest warrants to Farrell)

    • Ryan Seacrest: (runs through the ring screaming) Seacrest out! Seacrest out! I don't wanna! I don't wanna! I don't wanna!

    • Farrell: Ok, you ask for it.
      Sheen: What's in there?
      Farrell: Overdue library books.
      Mills: Hold up there, Farrell. You never been to a library in your life. Let me see that bag. Alexander DVDs? S.W.A.T. DVDs? Farrell, are you buying copies of your own crappy movies to inflate sale figures?
      Farrell: Um, no. Of course not.
      Mills: Alright, then. Now get it back on!

    • Jack Osbourne: Come here, you little... (tries to punch Mary-Kate Olsen but misses) Get over here! (grabs Mary-Kate Olsen but misses. He manages to grab her hair) Ha! Got ya! (pulls Mary-Kate Olsen's hair)

    • Simon Cowell: Is that it? Is that all you got? You fight like a theme park wedding singer performing karaoke on a cruise ship. Yes, that just about covers it. (gets a list saying four things: theme park, wedding singer, karaoke, and cruise ship)

    • Ryan Seacrest: (to the lady) No, stop it! I'm not a contestant! I'm not a contestant!
      Simon Cowell: Had enough? Because so far, your fighting is about as effective as the French army. (to himself in the mirror) You call that an insult? I heard better insults from Randy Jackson's awesome chili night. It's a good thing you're so gorgeous. You're going to Hollywood. Yes, you are, you splendid thing. (Ryan Seacrest punches and kicks him) How dare you hit me when I'm admiring myself? Ok, Seacrest, the kid gloves are off.

    • Johnny Gomez: (after Ryan Seacrest's underwear is revealed) Can you imagine a grown man wearing such underwear?

    • Kelly Osbourne: (while beating an old lady) Die! Die! Die! Die!
      Mills: Hold on there, missy! You're beating up a back lady.
      Kelly Osbourne: I am so sorry.
      (The old lady walks away)

    • Mills: (to Farrell and Sheen) Alright, you two, this ain't Celebrity Hook-up, it's Deathmatch. Here are couple of weapons you both understand. I wanna see some blood! (breaks liquor bottles)

    • Ryan Seacrest: You're a double doo-doo head!
      Simon Cowell: Astonishing. I've met MPCs with more brains than you.
      (Ryan Seacrest attacks with a punch but Simon Cowell is unharmed)

    • Farrell: I thought you got over your drinking problem and moved on to a gambling problem.
      Sheen: That's not true! I'll bet you any amount of money that's not true!

    • Mills: (To Sheen and Farrel) There's two things I want you to know. One, my daughter is in the audience tonight. And two, I've got a shotgun in back, and I know to use it!

    • Simon Cowell: Ok, you had your turn. Now it's mine.
      Ryan Seacrest: Seacrest Doomed!
      (Holds signs of "HELP" and "ME!")

    • Johnny Gomez: Ouch, now that's a bad hair day, even for Mary-Kate!
      Nick Diamond: Actually, Johnny, I doubt that hurt her at all. It's one of the Olsens' natural defense mechanisms. When the paparazzi or other predators get ahold of their hair, it breaks off, allowing for easy escape.
      Johnny Gomez: You mean like a lizard's tail!
      Nick Diamond: What the hell do I know about lizards?

    • Johnny Gomez: That's gotta hurt, eh Nick?
      Nick Diamond: Well, I'm sure he prefers it to being buried waist-deep in the Mexican desert, helpless to defend yourself as every insect, bird and rodent within ten miles feasts on your body, stripping you of your flesh, bit by bit, until your death from thirst three days later comes as a welcome release!

    • Simon Cowell: Simon says: BLEED!

    • Simon Cowell: Seacrest, I'm going to drop you faster than a syndicated talkshow.
      Ryan Seacrest: Joke's on YOU, Cowell! I WAS dropped really fast by a syndicated talkshow!
      Simon Cowell: How ironic - that you don't know the meaning of the word 'ironic'. (notices Seacrest getting furious) Oh, here it comes, another shining example of a Seacrest comeback...
      Ryan Seacrest: You're a doo-doo head!

    • Johnny Gomez: Nick, both Sheen and Ferrell have done their fair share of boozin', bangin', and breakin' the law - but only one is walking out of this ring alive.
      Nick Diamond: No matter who wins, it's a victory for the L.A.P.D.!

  • NOTES (1)


    • Ryan Seacrest's "Help" and "Me" signs, shown during his fight with Simon Cowell, are an apparent nod to the classic Looney Tunes character Wile E. Coyote, who often used signs to reflect fear and/or sudden realizations.

    • Olsen Twins: Olsen twin powers - activate!
      Ashley Olsen: Form of - me, kicking your ass!
      Mary-Kate Olsen: Form of - me, also kicking your ass!

      Reference to the classic Wonder Twins!

    • Terminator 2
      Ashley Olsen's bit-off finger becomes a blob of liquid metal, getting reabsorbed into her body and re-shaping the removed finger, just like T-1000 in the second Terminator movie.

    • Mary-Kate and the muffin is a parody of Gollum from The Lord of the Rings movies.