But seriously people, if you're a channel surfer like I am, just fly past this and let your screen stay black if (you're like me if this happens) your remote runs out of batteries/you're too morbidly obeast to get up from your chair. If you want to commit suicide, this is the most painful way. It'll burn your eyes out... Scar you for life! Since when do we want to see Lohan get ANOTHER DUI? Sure, Jay Leno would, but save yourself the pain and simply don't watch this show.
So... you've been warned. Even the dullest of scripts can cut like a sharpened blade.