Celebrity Poker Showdown

Season 2 Episode 4

Tournament 2 Game 4

Aired Tuesday 8:00 PM Jun 17, 2004 on Bravo
out of 10
User Rating
19 votes

By TV.com Users

Episode Summary

Tournament 2 Game 4
Lauren Graham, Matthew Perry, Sara Rue, Sean Austin, and Christopher Masterson play in tonight's tournament.

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  • Lauren and Matthew in the same place at the same time???

    First I love Texas hold'em, so i kind of enjoy watching the ESPN tournament, and the moment i find out there were celebrities playing, hello??? Anyways, I love Lauren Graham, and even though she was in two games, this one is my fav not only because she won in this one, but because Matthew Perry is in it too.. And they look extreamly cute, and they both are really funny so you will never stop laughing in the entire game. Sure Sara R. apported something to the funny part, but the whole thing was amusing because of Lauren and Matthew.moreless
  • Lauren Graham won!!!!

    Amazing beyond belief because Lauren Graham won. End of story. She's amazing and I wish i could watch this episode over and over and watch her flick the other players into the loser's lounge one by one. She's amazing. Absolutely amazing.

    At first, she was in fourth place. I continued to watch the episode in mind that she would lose so I wouldn't be too disappointed. When Sean Astin left, I was almost positive that Christ Masterson would win. He was being dealt lucky hands for a while. But then Lauren took over.

    There were a couple girl-on-girl showdowns between Lauren and Sara. Eventually, Lauren got Sara and Matthew booted off the poker table.

    In the end, Lauren had over 40,000 to Chris's measly 9,000. It was inevitable that she would take home the gold.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (15)

  • QUOTES (78)

    • Dave: Welcome to Celebrity Poker Showdown. We are the show that has taught America phrases like "Big Blind", "Flop the Flush", and "Ben Affleck lost to that gay guy from Sex and the City".

    • Dave: Matthew Perry, you're here. You're playing for charity even if you recently lost your job.
      Matthew: I know.
      Dave: That says something about heart people. That says something about this industry.

    • Dave: And Lauren we worked together on NewsRadio many years ago and now you're a big star and you won't answer my calls.
      Lauren: I'm sorry.
      Dave: It's alright.
      Lauren: I'm busy.
      Dave: No, the mistake was answering them when you were working on NewsRadio.

    • Matthew: Can we just take a moment and just caress the felt? Is that alright?

    • (after Sean Astin checked when he needed to either fold or call)
      Matthew: That's the most elaborate bluff I've ever seen in my life.
      Sean: Yeah, fold.
      Matthew: I was wrong.

    • (on taped interview)
      Sean: We loved games in our family. I really love competing. I love to compete.

    • (on taped interview)
      Sean: I really like to win for my charity because I'm selfish. May the best charity win.

    • (going into the commercial break)
      Dave: After winning the first two hands, Chris Masterson has jumped into the lead. Sure, he can take on Chandler and the Gilmore Girl but how does he stack up against the hobbit. Find out who's gonna get the chance to be "Lord of the Cingular Wireless Quarter-Million Prize Pool".

    • Matthew: (on Sean deciding whether to call Chris' bet or not) Do what your heart tells you. I wish I hadn't said it.

    • (after the pot goes up to $20,100)
      Matthew: It is so fun to just watch.
      Sean: You'll have time to play in a minute, I'm sure.

    • (shaking hands with Sean whom he eliminated)
      Chris: I'll see you in the lounge in about five minutes.

    • Phil: (talking to Sean after he got eliminated) That was not good.
      Sean: Really? (pointing to Phil's book of poker tips) This is the wrote that he wrote. These great tips that try to make us play better.
      Phil: (taking the book from Sean and throwing it away) Yeah, you can throw that away. You don't need them anymore.

    • Dave: It is important to realize that Matt Perry... in the event that things aren't going well for him, we should the studio audience and the crew... he could have this building purchased and destroyed with us in it in order to bury his failure. He is that wealthy.

    • Lauren: (giggling) So then the options as we see them... (more giggling)
      Phil: Wow! She's really playing out that giggly thing here. She's acting a little bit here. She knows exactly what she's gonna do.

    • (after Lauren acted her way into winning a pot)
      Phil: She had exactly the same cards but she bet better than Matthew. And with her position, she's gonna take down that pot and and win an Emmy.

    • Sean: Where is your best friend now?
      Phil: Oh he's out in the audience.
      Sean: He is?
      Dave: He's sitting in the audience and actually he's doing better than you at the table.

    • Audience Member: Come on, Sara.
      Sara: (looking at her cards then talking to the audience member) You don't what I have. You don't know me. I can't play with this. I wanna play. I do wanna play but I can't play with this.

    • (on taped interview)
      Chris: If I had to pick who I wanted to go out before me, I could truly only say every other player at the table.

    • (on taped interview)
      Chris: I sort of had a practice game against Matthew Perry so I've seen his game. I think of him as my little sister. But you know, I'll check-raise my mom. I'll check-raise my sister. So I don't think he has much of a chance.

    • (after Sara bluffs her way into winning a pot against Chris)
      Dave: ...showing you don't necessarily have the cards to win.
      Phil: That's exactly right, Dave. All she had to have was guts to put enough chips in the pot to steal it away from him.

    • (on taped interview)
      Sara: I'm such a dork about cards.

    • (on taped interview)
      Sara: People may think that I am cute. That I may not know anything about poker. And really, I don't. But then I will. You see how that's gonna work.

    • (on taped interview)
      Sara: They'll all be tricked and fooled. And I will come out the winner.

    • (on taped interview)
      Lauren: I think I can be really good at this game. If only I can learn it.

    • (on taped interview)
      Lauren: Maybe my game plan is to just be distracting. I'll sing show tunes and just threaten people. Or maybe I'll just keep reciting limericks 'cause I'm Irish.

    • Audience Member: You gotta be in it to win it.
      Matthew: Alright. (bets)

    • (after whistling is heard from the audience)
      Sara: Everyone else does hear that, right?
      Lauren: No, I don't know what you mean.
      Matthew: No, just happening inside your head.
      Sara: This is very disconcerting. I have to fold. I give Matthew Perry my money.

    • (during a head-to-head between Sara and Lauren on one hand)
      Chris: (whispering) Cat fight.
      Matthew: (with a big grin) No matter what happens, can you guys wrestle after?
      Phil: (off-stage) Who would you like in that match?
      Dave: It's tough. They're both strong competitors.

    • Sean: I'm just trying to figure out who to root for to lose so I can spend time with him here in the Losers' Lounge.
      Dave: You can't go wrong.
      Phil: Well, you have to root for one of the girls to lose, right?
      Sean: Remember, Matthew and I are friends now.

    • Sara: (deciding how much to bet) Time!
      Robert: Time.
      Lauren: Time?
      Sara: You can call time, right?
      Robert: Yeah.
      Lauren: It's not like dodgeball. "Timeout you, guys!"

    • Audience: All in! All in!
      Sean: Don't fall victim to the crowd. Don't fall victim to the crowd.
      Dave: That's right Sean, you were victimized.

    • (when Lauren was thinking whether to call Sara's bet)
      Dave: (off-stage) Now Lauren's gonna give it some thought. She's gonna think about it in slow motion.
      Matthew: The word you're looking for here is time.
      Lauren: Time! Time out you guys.
      Robert: Lauren calls time.

    • Lauren: Is that an official thing...
      Robert: Actually yeah.
      Lauren: Well, Phil Gordon didn't tell me that, did he? At my private morning sessions.
      Everyone: Ooooh!

    • Audience Member: Rub the felt!

    • Lauren: What I have to do then is of course...
      Audience Member: Wrestle!
      Lauren: Sure, wrestle. And...

    • Sara: Lauren?
      Lauren: Yes?
      Sara: Wanna make out?
      (Matthew appearing ecstatic)

    • (after Sara proposes to Lauren for them to make out)
      Dave: No, I know they're kidding around but in all seriousness, there's nothing more beautiful than two women necking.

    • Matthew: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
      Phil: (off-stage) That would be the motto of our lovable city Las Vegas.
      Dave: The city's way of saying "Cheat on your wives, fellas!".

    • (going into commercial break)
      Dave: Sara Rue just climbed over Lauren Graham into second place. Will this incredibly hot girl-on-girl action pay off with more than just a big pot? Will Chris and Matthew be content to just watch? Find out who's going down next.

    • Dave: We've had one knock-out so far. Sean Astin is with us here in the Losers' Lounge.
      Sean: I think you ought to change the title to the Learning Lounge. That's just me. That's just me.
      Dave: You know what, because that's the way you play it, baby.
      Sean: That's it. I'm all about growth and learning.

    • (after Chris and Matthew folds and Lauren bets)
      Lauren: More girl-on-girl action.
      Sara: That's the show I'm taping later.
      Lauren: What?
      Sara: Oh, they didn't tell you about that? We'll talk more about that later.
      Lauren: I didn't get it in my Phil Gordon private session.

    • Matthew: Could I get some baby oil, please?

    • Sara: What would Phil do?
      Phil: (off-stage) I can't tell you Sara.
      Sara: If he talks a little louder, I might find out.

    • Sara: (staring at Lauren) I really think, as cute as you are, that you don't have anything.
      Matthew: For God's sake, kiss each other!

    • (on taped interview)
      Matthew: I'm very competitive, unfortunately. I play tennis a lot and the racket gets thrown. So I may throw some chips and some cards today.

    • (on taped interview)
      Matthew: Unfortunately I have a very obvious tell; which is when I have good cards, I start humming Kansas' "Dust in the Wind". (hums) That's if I have a pair of aces... pocket aces. I do that.

    • (on taped interview)
      Matthew: I've stopped acting. Basically now, I'm just figure-skating and playing Texas Hold 'Em.

    • (after Lauren makes Matthew to lay down a better hand with a big bet)
      Phil: And she gets Matthew to lay down a better hand. Matthew had a pair of tens. That's a huge bluff for Lauren. Wow!
      Sean: Lauren's kickin'...
      Phil: Ass.
      Sean: Butt.

    • Matthew: (laying down ugly cards, letting Lauren and Sara go head-to-head) I had good cards. I just want to see this happen again.

    • Dave: (to Sean) I've never seen anyone committed in the Losers' Lounge and study so hard to understand what went wrong.
      Phil: You really are studying hard.
      Sean: No, I'm just...
      Dave: You're treating the Losers' Lounge just like a remedial education.
      Sean: That is a great thing and for that reason alone, I am proud to be in the Losers' Lounge!
      Dave: You should be.

    • (after Lauren asks Sara to count her remaining chips)
      Phil: Now, Dave, this is legal. At any time during the hand, you can ask your opponent how many chips they have left.
      Dave: It's legal but it's unkind.

    • (on taped interview)
      Sara: Here's the thing about Lauren Graham, if that's her real name. I saw her in the makeup and hair room and she's like "I don't know what I'm doing.". Lies. All lies. I'm a little nervous about her. I think she's a shark.

    • (on taped interview)
      Lauren: If Sara Rue's gonna be the crazy one, maybe I'll be on the verge of tears all the time. Do you think that'll work? Some girls can't stand when girls cry. I don't know if that actually affects the cards you get though.

    • Phil: Notice that when Matthew wins the pot, he's won the small ones though.
      Dave: A little win is still a win.

    • (after Matthew folds as he got no pair on the flop)
      Phil: It's perilous to continue further.
      Dave: It's perilous when you're pairless. (fakes a laugh then coughs)

    • Phil: (commenting on Chris holding a large part of the chips) It's the power of the big stack here, Dave. When you have the big stack, everyone's a little bit afraid of you.
      Dave: I know that. I know that from experience.

    • (on taped interview)
      Matthew: When I'm unhappy, I have a tell as well. I just start hitting. I start hitting people. It's very unfortunate for me 'cause I'm not that great a fighter so I get beat up a lot.

    • (on taped interview)
      Sara: I love gambling. I'm so happy that Bravo is feeding my addiction. My husband's not thrilled about it but I'm psyched.

    • Sara: You realize though that no matter what happens, there will now never be any girl-on-girl action. 'Cause one of us will be leaving.
      Matthew: Not here at the table anyway.

    • Sean: That's exactly why I lost! The guy yells out...
      Sara: You know what, that doesn't make me feel better.
      Dave: 'Cause he lost a long time ago.

    • (after Dave tells Sara of the $5000 that will go to her charity)
      Sara: (making gestures with her hands over her breasts) It's great 'cause you have to protect the ladies at all times.
      Dave: Oh, I'm all in favor of that.
      Sara: So that's really good.
      Dave: I do my bit.
      Sara: Do you?
      Dave: I do. I've actually been arrested three times for giving impromptu breast examinations.

    • (on taped interview)
      Matthew: Chris Masterson... I don't know him well but I know of him as being quite mean-spirited. I don't know what the deal is, like he didn't get enough toys as a kid or something. I don't know what his deal is.

    • (on taped interview)
      Matthew: Lauren Graham's actually a friend of mine. She's one f the greatest people in the world. But I have no reservations about kicking her ass here at Celebrity Poker Showdown. Let the chips fall where they may.

    • (after Chris re-raises against Lauren who has a pair of fours)
      Dave: He's gonna try to sink her sailboats.

    • Matthew: (to the dealer) Please give me cards that are higher than a three and a four.
      (after getting a king-queen off-suit)
      Matthew: (to the dealer) You did. And thank you.

    • (as Sean welcomes Matthew to the Losers' Lounge)
      Sean: No, no. I know how to make you happy. I know exactly how to make Matthew Perry happy. Katie, will you come here please? Katie!

    • Matthew: The one time I really tried, she got pocket queens. So what are you gonna do? You know what you do is you eat some chocolate.

    • Dave: (on Matthew's "Friends" co-star David Schwimmer) He lost. That's all that matters. So he can't lord it over you when you see him again. Although you'll never see him again. The show's over.
      Matthew: Show's over. I don't need to see him.

    • (before going into a commercial)
      Dave: We'll be back here in the Losers' Lounge. Really, the balance of power has switched. The game itself is now secondary.
      Matthew: That's true.
      Dave: There are now more celebrities in the Losers' Lounge than at the table.
      Matthew: It's a good way to look at it.

    • (after Lauren bets several "thousand" chips)
      Sara: That's such a girlie trick. You're the chip leader and then you pretend like you don't know what you're doing by calling them purples.

    • Phil: Oh man! We had the best hand and she bluffed us right out. Hey if you guys at home called Lauren, you played a lot better than we did.
      Dave: Smarty-pantses!
      Phil: Very nice bet by Lauren's play.
      Matthew: I'm sitting here sexually aroused by Lauren Graham.
      Phil: But you notice she's the aggressor in all the hands, right? She's betting. She's raising. She's not doing a lot of calling.
      Dave: Now I'm sexually aroused by Phil's commentary.

    • Matthew: You know at first I was impressed by Chris' kind of just... he doesn't really give any emotion or anything. But now, he's just pissing me off.
      Sara: The guy's adorable. Come on.
      Matthew: You know, in the nicest way. But he's pissing me off.
      Dave: He's adorable but I think Matthew's gonna give him an adorable beating.

    • (on taped interview)
      Lauren: If I lose, there's gonna be a lot of tears. There's gonna be a speech probably. Some kind of farewell monologue, farewell to the table. And then I'll spend the rest of the day bringing people cocktails.

    • (on taped interview)
      Lauren: If I win, it would be shocking. And real poker players will be angry.

    • Dave: We have Chris Masterson who is playing for Citizen's Commission on Human Rights, which means if he wins, John Ashcroft will ship him off to Guantanamo Bay as an enemy combatant.

    • Dave: Lauren Graham, playing for the Revlon UCLA Women's Cancer Research Program. They don't really cure cancer. They just make it look better. But still, a noble charity.

    • Matthew: Can I make a suggestion? That we all forget about this poker, go back to my room, take our shirts off, and watch a Tobey Maguire film.

    • Sara: (before the deal, to the dealer) Can you give me something higher than a 4? Just one.

  • NOTES (0)


    • Sean: I'm particularly proud of how clever I was to get a member of the Friends cast to agree to be my friend.
      Matthew: We can't really be Lord of the Rings, can we?

      The Lord of the Rings is the Peter Jackson film adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien's novel of the same name. The movie starred Sean Astin as a hobbit.

    • Audience Members: Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!
      Sean: They were better prepped than I thought they were.

      Rudy was a 1993 film wherein Sean Astin starred as the title character. In the film, football fans were egging him on during the game by chanting his name.

    • (after seeing Matthew's king-queen and Lauren's pair of queens)
      Phil: Pocket queens! Two queens short of the Fab Five.

      The Fab Five is the collective nickname of the hosts of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy which is also being shown on Bravo.