Celebrity Poker Showdown

Season 2 Episode 5

Tournament 2 Game 5

Aired Tuesday 8:00 PM Jun 24, 2004 on Bravo



  • Trivia

    • Match Results:
      1st Place - Maura Tierney
      2nd Place - James Blake
      3rd Place - Jon Favreau
      4th Place - Tom Everett Scott
      5th Place - Andy Richter

    • Celebrity Charity List:
      James Blake - Shriners Hospital for Children
      Andy Richter - The National Mental Health Association
      Tom Everett Scott - Caring for Children & Families with AIDS
      Jon Favreau - Caring for Children & Families with AIDS
      Maura Tierney - The Children's Aid Society

    • How Would You Play It: The viewers played with Maura's Ace-Queen off-suit.

    • One of James Blake's nicknames is "The Squirt Gun" since he was smaller than his older brother who was called "Tommy Gun".

    • Tom Everett Scott learned high-stakes poker from his father when he was only four.

    • On one hand where James, Maura, and Tom were all in on the pot, the flop saw James drawing a flush, Maura getting a pair, and Tom getting triple fours.

    • The celebrity players were doing tequila shots throughout the game.

    • At one point during the head-to-head showdown between Maura and James, they were tied at 25,000 in chips apiece. It was the first time in the show's history that it ever happened.

    • James received a phone call from a friend and Maura answered James' phone during their head-to-head showdown.

    • James and Maura toasted and took their final tequila shots on the last hand of the game.

  • Quotes

    • Dave: Welcome to Celebrity Poker Showdown! This is where you get to see famous people lie, bully, and steal their way to a big pay-off. So pretty much like any working day in Hollywood.

    • Dave: (pointing to Maura) You look so familiar.
      Maura: You too.
      Dave: You look like someone. I don't know who it is.

    • Dave: The thing is I like to point out my connections with everyone so it seems like I'm still in show business.

    • Maura: (to Jon) Dave actually doesn't like you. He told me.
      Jon: Oh, he doesn't?
      Maura: Yeah, but it's okay.
      Dave: Maura, there are things that are said in confidence.
      Andy: Foley not liking you is career suicide. You're cooked.

    • Dave: The players that get knocked out... they're gonna have to join us here in the Losers' Lounge, which is really quite a delightful place. It's a place of healing. It's a place of relaxation and drinking. And you can watch television.

    • Phil: Expect these guys to play fairly conservatively in the early rounds...
      Dave: ...and later to go completely insane!

    • (after James wins the first pot)
      James: Can I quit now while I'm ahead?
      Andy: Pretty much over now.

    • Dave: James Blake... he's gonna have stamina on his side.
      Phil: He will.
      Dave: 'Cause he is a topnotch athlete of course.
      Phil: Looks like he's going for the bald Andre Agassi look.
      Dave: Yep.
      Phil: All great tennis players have to be bald now.
      Dave: And divorced from Brooke Shields.

    • Andy: (after winning a pot) I'd like to cash out.

    • (on taped interview)
      Andy: I quit as being a television talk show sidekick. That's how dumb I am.

    • (on taped interview)
      Andy: I played against the computer. Because if I can beat the machine, I can beat man.

    • (on taped interview)
      Andy: Wearing pink, he [Phil] said, that was a problem. It's a sign of weakness.

    • (on taped interview)
      Tom: Playing against a woman, I think, you have to treat them like a man but with breasts.

    • (after Andy and Maura showed the same ace-high straight after the turn)
      Phil: No card now can come to change the outcome of this hand.
      Dave: How about a magic card? Have you considered that?
      Robert: Split pot!

    • Audience Member: Andy!
      Andy: Yes? Please I'm playing cards.

    • (on taped interview)
      Jon: (on Texas Hold 'Em) It's like playing chess. The limit games are like checkers whereas No-Limit's like chess.

    • (after Maura and Jon puts 3200 in the pot before the flop)
      Andy: I think you both are very brave.

    • Phil: Rainbow flop.
      Dave: Which means all-inclusive.
      Phil: It means a flop of three different suits.
      Dave: Oh, I thought it was a... you know, gay-friendly.

    • Robert: Maura is calling. Can we see what she has? Looks like Maura has less money than Jon. We're gonna count it out here.
      Maura: You had to tell everybody.

    • (on taped interview)
      Maura: My strategy is to stay alive. Not sort of freak out. I generally start off fairly confident. And then the longer the game goes, I tend to start second-guessing myself and getting nervous.

    • (on taped interview)
      Maura: I hope I have an edge because I'm the only girl. But you know, that might turn against me.

    • (after Jon goes all in with not enough chips to cover James' bet and Tom's call)
      Phil: Their chips will go to what we call the side pot.
      Dave: My father once had action on the side and it almost put my parents out.

    • (after James, Maura, and Tom gets a flush, pair, and trips respectively after the flop)
      Dave: They all have reason to be optimistic.
      Phil: There's gonna be some fireworks here, yeah.

    • (after Maura loses a large amount of chips to James)
      Andy: (to Maura) You're still rich.
      Maura: Yeah. Yeah.

    • (after Jon wins another pot after being down to 2000 in chips)
      Phil: It's not over 'til it's over.
      Dave: Yes.
      Phil: Actually, I didn't say it. Someone said that. Who said that?
      Dave: The fat lady I think said that.

    • (going into commercial break)
      Dave: And the fat lady is about to sing for one of these players. I'll give you a hint. It's either James or Tom. Or Andy. Or maybe Jon. Okay, it could be Maura. But this I promise you -- someone is going all-in and all-out right after this.

    • (after the commercial break)
      Dave: Welcome back to Palms in Las Vegas. I'm Dave Foley and I'm sitting here with my co-host and in some states, husband two-time World Poker Tour Winner Phil Gordon. Now what's the chip count looking like, honey?

    • (after Andy tries to bluff Jon to lay down his hand)
      Phil: Look at that stare from Andy Richter. That is a huge tell, folks. When someone in your home game looks at you like that, call them quickly.
      Dave: Or at least call the police 'cause he could be crazy.

    • (after Jon calls Andy's bluff and eliminates him)
      Phil: Andy Richter, eliminated in a blaze of glory, bluffed his way in to the Losers' Lounge. You can't win if you don't bluff but that was...
      Dave: You can lose as well.
      Phil: You can definitely lose.

    • (welcoming Andy to the Losers' Lounge)
      Dave: Welcome to the Losers' Lounge. Right now, it's all over except for the drinkin'.

    • Dave: You tried to bluff him out of it.
      Andy: He didn't go for it. Did i do a terrible job?
      Phil: No you didn't do a terrible job. It was a bluff.
      Dave: (on Jon) He did a terrible job of believing in you.

    • (on taped interview)
      Tom: I'm gonna try not to think about what Phil Gordon is saying while I'm playing. I don't want him to make me look more of an idiot than I already am.

    • (going into commercial break)
      Dave: Three out of four of these celebrities will be going all-in right after these important messages, recommended by three out four dentists. Stay tuned, The cool kids are all doing it.

    • Dave: We've got a population of one at the Losers' Lounge. Our solitary loser is Andy Richter.
      Andy: Yeah, I like it. I got my own island property.
      Dave: And he is clinging to his delusions.

    • Phil: The only real short stack now is Tom and he's got plenty of chips.
      Andy: I like Tom. It'll be fun sitting here with him.

    • (after a flop of Ace of hearts, seven of hearts, and Jack of hearts)
      Dave: Now what would you call that kind of flop?
      Phil: That's a heart flop.
      Dave: A heart flop. I've had those. They could be awfully scary.
      Andy: (impersonating a doctor) Mr. Foley, you've got a heart flop.

    • (after Maura bluffs and bets 3000)
      Phil: She's gonna bet 3000, Dave. That is a stone-cold bluff. She has no pair and no draw. And no heart.
      Dave: No heart is exactly right, Phil.

    • Andy: Is there somebody in Vegas who's a really [bleep] card player but just knows the lingo? And you guys let him hang around.
      Phil: That's me.
      Andy: Oh really? Wow!

    • (after audience eggs on Maura to go all-in)
      Tom: Listen to these people. They want blood.
      Maura: I know they want blood. (pauses) I'm gonna go all-in.

    • (after Maura takes a tequila shot after going all-in)
      Andy: She knows how to get a crowd on her side.
      Phil: Oh yeah!

    • Dave: You know I used to be more famous than Maura.
      Andy: Really? When?
      Dave: True. Five years ago.
      Andy: That time you tried to kill a senator?
      Dave: Yes. I was in all the papers.

    • (as James takes a tequila shot)
      Phil: Now he's gonna do his tequila shot
      Andy: Or his Marlon Brando impersonation.

    • Robert: James is all-in for 5400. Jon has more money than James.
      James: You don't need to advertise that.
      Robert: I just meant on the table. I didn't mean in life.
      James: Unfortunately, it's true in both.

    • Dave: Now you can put the pretense of poker behind you and just have drinks with Andy and sit here on the couch.
      Andy: Maybe a little neckin'.
      Tom: Oh, [bleep] that!

    • Phil: Jon doubles up. That's a very nice play by Jon.
      Dave: He's riding the rush.
      Phil: He's feelin' it a little. Ah! Riding the rush. That's another poker term.
      Dave: Yeah, I'm getting there.

    • Dave: Do you think Maura noticed that I'm aging gracefully?
      Andy: Actually, during one of the breaks, she asked me who you were.

    • Dave: Jon's had some bad luck.
      Phil: Jon really has. He ran into some big hands, battled his way back. This was not to be the day. He played very well.

    • Jon: Isn't that what it's all about? You win like a celebrity but when you lose, if you can lose like a poker player, you're the big winner on the inside.

    • (after James tried to steal the silver chip away)
      Dave: No you can't just do that!
      James: It just seems so much easier that way.
      Dave: Is that how you do it on the tennis court?
      James: Pretty much.
      Dave: Just steal it?
      James: Yeah, absolutely.

    • (with Maura and James going head-to-head for the silver chip)
      Maura: I would bet that anyone talking about this game wouldn't think this is how it was gonna end up.
      James: Yeah, probably not. I think we're the two underdogs.
      Dave: Phil is humiliated by this turnout. He couldn't have guessed wronger.

    • (on taped interview)
      Maura: I'm a very very very poor sport. I'm not a good loser. I'm hopin' that I'm gonna have some dignity today.

    • (on taped interview)
      Maura: Oh, it's not about the money that makes me a bad loser. It's just about the losing.

    • Maura: I bet if I knew Math, I'd be really good at this game.

    • Maura: (to James) I think I can drink you under the table.
      Tom: (off-stage) I think I can drink you under the table, she says.

    • Dave: (carrying two shot glasses of tequila) Ey, wazzup?
      James: That's both for you?
      Dave: Oh, do you guys want some? Here, 'cause there's nothing like sloppy-drunk celebrities.

    • (going into commercial break)
      Dave: The tennis pro has us at deuce. Yes, it's a tie. All knotted up. Even Steven. One and the same. The scores are indistinguishable. What does this mean? Well, they have an equal chance of winning this thing. And one of them will absolutely will right after this interruption.

    • Phil: Three and five thousand dollar blinds. Things couldn't possibly last much longer.
      Dave: Unless it actually lasts much longer. That's the only way it could go on. That is if it doesn't end.

    • Andy Richter: (after Phil Gordon gives the percentage of winning the hand for a player) Does it hurt Phil, when you pull those numbers out of your ass?

  • Notes

  • Allusions