Celebrity Poker Showdown

Season 3 Episode 6

Tournament 3 Championship Game

Aired Tuesday 8:00 PM Aug 12, 2004 on Bravo
out of 10
User Rating
8 votes

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Episode Summary

Tournament 3 Championship Game
Seth Meyers, Jeff Gordon, Steve Harris, Dave Navarro, David Cross

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (11)

    • QUOTES (55)

      • (after Dave raised to 3,000 on the first hand)
        Seth: Navarro's got a plane to catch.

      • (after the pot went up to 13,500 on the first hand)
        Seth: It's a two-hour show, guys.

      • (on taped interview
        Dave N.: I find that once you win Celebrity Poker Showdown, you become more interesting, funnier, more attractive. It's just an amazing feeling.

      • Phil: Nice play by Dave Navarro. He's just taken a commanding lead in this tournament on only the second hand. Very impressive.
        Dave F.: Could I change my pick?

      • (going into commercial break)
        Dave F.: Dave Navarro's not just taking their milk money. He's almost got enough to buy the whole cow. Poor Steve Harris gave most of it. Is Steve about to buy the farm? You'll find out when this championship game continues after you plow through this.

      • Dave N.: I'm a rock musician so I'm not good with Math. What do I owe?
        Robert: Four purples and one orange.
        Seth: Four purples and an orange. Let's make it easy.
        Dave N.: Colors I get. Alright, call.

      • Dave N.: I know shades. I know colors. I know cards. Don't know numbers.

      • Dave F.: And he showed the Jacks to David.
        Phil: I like him showing his hand there, Dave. 'Cause what it does is it lets the other players know that he's got the nuts. Now, he can start bluffing a little bit and using those chips to its maximum advantage.
        Dave F.: By the nuts, you mean good cards?
        Phil: Yes. Absolutely. Best hand possible.
        Dave F.: For those who don't know the terminology and are getting excited.

      • Seth: (on Dave getting good cards early on) I saw Navarro talking to a leprechaun this morning.

      • (earlier, Dave Navarro admitted to not being good in Math because he was a rock star)
        Jeff: I'm a race car driver. I don't know Math.

      • Phil: Now Jeff Gordon has to go all-in. I don't see that he has any other play.
        Jeff: I'm all-in. I'm all-in.
        Dave F.: It's like you're controlling them.
        Phil: Well, good players know how to play the game. And all of these guys are good. When you really don't have any choice, you have to do the right thing.

      • Dave N.: Let me just get this straight. That's what 32 looks like? So it's six purples and two oranges.
        Seth: You should get that as a tattoo.
        Dave N.: I call.

      • Jeff: I've been known to take a risk or two but that one, literally got my heart going.
        Dave N.: Risk is your business my friend.
        Jeff: Dave, I don't know what your business is. But you need to be in the race car business.

      • (on taped interview)
        Jeff: I learned a lot to be patient at the beginning of the game.

      • Jeff: I don't know. I say all these orange ones. (puts some orange chips in the middle of the table)
        Robert: Jeff bets those oranges. It's 800.

      • (after he folds against Jeff's bet)
        Dave N.: It's not worth it.
        David: I like it... you said that like it was sort of a life lesson. Like "It's not worth it man!"

      • (going into commercial break)
        Dave F.: None of these previous winners have spent any time in the Losers' Lounge. One of them is about to go all-in. Who will it be? And when he does, will he double up? Or will he be a Losers' Lounge virgin no more. Don't move a muscle. This won't hurt a bit.

      • Jeff: (re-raises after the flop) 3,000.
        David: I don't have that kind of money.

      • Audience: All-in!
        Seth: You know those angels and devils on your shoulders. Everyone here is a devil. There's no voice of reason.

      • (early on, Jeff and Dave admitted to not being good in Math 'cause one is a rock star and the other is a race car driver)
        Steve: I'm an actor. I can count.

      • Phil: We know one of the things it takes to win this tournament is patience. And we know Jeff Gordon has that. Two-time Daytona 500 champion.
        Dave F.: Well, yeah, if he's that patient, why does he drive so fast?

      • David: Come on, bracelet. What would Jesus do? (listens to his bracelet) Eat your own dung? Oh, I'm not talking about Leviticus 6:14. (listens again) Oh, OK.

      • Seth: He didn't hit triple sixes.
        Steve: Between me and you, yes he did.
        Dave F.: Finally, honesty in poker.
        Phil: First time that's ever happened.

      • (on taped interview)
        Jeff: I don't mind being risky. I do it for a living every weekend.

      • (on taped interview)
        Jeff: There are moments when you can be aggressive. Based on your position. Based on the pot. Based on your chip stack and your cards.

      • (on taped interview)
        Jeff: David Cross may have two of these. (holding up a silver chip) But I want one silver and one gold.

      • David: I do need a banana. Anybody? (talking to an audience member) Did you bring it? Well, bring it. (stands to get the banana from the audience)
        Robert: Sir, you can't talk to the audience in the middle of the hand.
        David: Really?

      • (on taped interview)
        Seth: We do a live television show every Saturday but it's nothing like this. People watching you make decisions is really nerve-wracking.

      • (on taped interview)
        Seth: (on Phil Gordon) A poker pro watching your every move. He's gonna tell everybody at home why you're an idiot.

      • (on taped interview)
        Seth: (on Dave Navarro) I am most scared of playing against a rock star. 'Cause I figure rock stars will bet whether they have the cards or not whereas comedians might even fold pocket Aces.

      • David: (raising the banana towards the sky) Behold the only power greater than yourself.
        Dave F.: First, he calls the Christ a dung-eater. Now, he idolizes the banana. He'll be lucky to get out of town alive.

      • David: (eating only half of his banana) Half for now. Half for later.

      • Phil: Notice Jeff eying Seth's stack. he does not want to be called here. I really like these guys bluffing when people check to them. That's really the way to play this game.
        Dave F.: Although sometimes eying a guy's stack can get you beat up. You gotta really be careful where you do that.

      • (after Jeff re-raises against Seth's re-raise)
        Phil: None of these players have a pair.
        Dave F.: Oh, they both got a pair, my friend. A brass pair.

      • (going into commercial break)
        Dave F.: Is our NASCAR legend about to drive into the wall of the Losers' Lounge? Or will another one of our players spin out on this track? Someone is about to make a hasty exit. Find out who after this brief pit stop.

      • Dave F.: You have the silver coin. You are a loser among champions. But still a champion.

      • Jeff: (shouting from the Losers' Lounge) Go all-in! It's lonely back here.
        David: I thought he wasn't even in this room.

      • (on taped interview)
        Dave: Winning the game was the second best thing that has happened to me in my life. First best thing that ever happened was I got married. The second greatest thing, winning Celebrity Poker Showdown.

      • (on taped interview)
        Dave: I got gold records. Silver records. They're in the garage collecting dust. But that coin, that Celebrity Poker Showdown winner coin is the most important thing I've ever won.

      • (on taped interview)
        Dave N.: The table I was at the other time, I had Richard Kind and I had Willie Garson. Both funny guys. And they laughed themselves into the Losers' Lounge. I'm not here for laughs. I'm here to play poker.

      • (Dave Navarro humming a tune)
        David: What song is that?
        Dave N.: I'm writing it. Composing it as we go.
        Seth: (singing in a rock star voice) What to do with these awesome cards.

      • (on taped interview)
        David: Look, I have two of these now. (holding up a silver chip) I'm the only guy out there with two.

      • Audience Member: Bet big, win big!
        Steve: (using the same irritating tone) Thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks!

      • (on the "How Would YOu Play It" hand)
        Phil: Dave missed an opportunity to steal this pot after the flop, after the turn, and after the river. If you guys at home bet on any of those three opportunities, you played this hand better than Dave Navarro.
        Dave F.: Sometimes even Dave fails to rock.

      • (on taped interview)
        Steve: The best part of Texas Hold 'Em is gotta be winning.

      • (after David only called when he should've gone all-in)
        Phil: I'd like to have seen David Cross move all-in.
        Jeff: Yes, that's what I thought he was gonna do.
        Dave F.: He really let us all down.

      • (after getting eliminated)
        David: Let me say this. I would like to wish... none of you luck.

      • (after a tray of money was brought into the table)
        Dave N.: I'm actually getting an erection.
        Dave F.: And I'm actually appreciating it.

      • Seth: (whispering) Navarro, don't look at me. We need to get this money. You take the two security guards. I'll take the money. We'll meet in Tijuana in three weeks. When I say "fold".

      • Phil: (off-stage, talking to Jeff) Dave Navarro is more popular.
        Seth: Keep your voice down, Phil Gordon!
        Phil: (off-stage) Oops!
        Dave N.: That was actually my dad.

      • (after the flop of three eights)
        Seth: I've got the eight. I just have a low kicker. (everybody laughs)

      • (on his out-of-turn fold two hands back)
        Dave N.: They say in a situation like this, you gotta let it go. Can't do that
        Seth: If I were you, I'd let it linger. I'd let it linger, man. Keep thinking about it.

      • Dave F.: It's the age-old battle between comedy and rock-and-roll.

      • (on the final hand)
        Phil: Three of hearts on the river. Seth Meyers has won this championship.
        Dave F.: And comedy defeats rock.

      • (after the tournament in which Dave placed second)
        David: You know what this means Dave.
        Dave N.: What's that?
        David: Another tattoo.

    • NOTES (1)

      • David Cross has appeared on Celebrity Poker Showdown a total of four times, twice in the preliminary rounds and twice at the Championship table.

    • ALLUSIONS (2)

      • Seth: I'll listen to my Mel Gibson watch.
        David: "Beat up that Jesus. Beat up that Jesus."

        Mel Gibson was the director of the 2004 film The Passion of the Christ which depicted the persecution and execution of Jesus Christ by the Jews.

      • (after David stood up to get a banana from the audience in the middle of a hand he was in)
        Robert: You have to wait 'til after the hand.
        David: But the banana is my secret Samson power.

        Samson is a popular Biblical character who possessed Herculean strength but lost his power when his hair was cut by Delilah. He is described in chapters 13 thru 16 in the Book of Judges.