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Season 1 Episode 5

Art's Heart

Aired Wednesday 9:30 PM Dec 01, 2004 on CBS
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Art's Heart
Art hurrying out of his Sunday brunches with Miles exposes the elder Barnett's heart problems. Meanwhile, Tommy treats Marge to a belated Mother's Day gift.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (14)

      • Art: I don't know. I guess I got to go to the doctor.
        Miles: Are you going to be alright?
        Art: Well, who the hell knows. Anything's possible.

      • Dr. Geisler: Art, it's a very common procedure.
        John: See? No big deal.
        Dr. Geisler: It actually takes about 20 minutes.
        John: They're in, they're out.
        Dr. Geisler: We insert a catheter into the femoral artery through the groin.
        Art/John: Whoa.
        Art: Can't you find a less painful entrance, like my eye?

      • Tommy: Okay, I can't take the silence. I know we're all a little stunned right now. And... so I'm just going to come out and ask the question I'm sure we're all thinking... What in the name of God are we eating?! It is disgusting!

      • Kate: It's called wheat loaf. It combines the rich taste of millet with the delicious flavor of cracked wheat patties.
        Lily: It really is atrocious. I'm sorry.
        Marge: I think I just ate a twig.
        Kate: It's better if you don't even try to chew, just kind of bolt it down.

      • Art: At least you get to eat. I can't touch anything until after my surgery. And I'm starving.
        Marge: Here, take a whiff of this. That'll kill your appetite.

      • Art: But no matter what happens, I just want to say... that when your mother convinced me to have a family... I never dreamed it would turn out to be as beautiful as this is. We did good, Marge. I love all you kids. And now, if you'll excuse us, your mother and I are going to go home and try to make some more.

      • John: I want you to make things right with Miles. Miles! I want you to be totally honest with him.
        Art: Of course I'll be honest with him. You think I'd lie to my own grandson?
        Marge: You lied to your wife.
        Art: So did Bill Clinton, and you marched in the snow for him!

      • John: What does your doctor say about this?
        Art: I don't know. I... can't get in touch with my doctor.
        John: Why not?
        Art: Because he's dead. For two years now. He got hit by the big "C." A Cadillac.

      • Art: Why? Because I rush him through breakfast on Sunday? Listen, that kid takes more time to eat an egg than it takes the chicken to make it.

      • Marge: It was wonderful. He took me to Jackson Park where I played while I was little. Then we went to Ruby's where I had a Sweet 16. And then we walked over to the house I grew up in, and Tommy took a picture of me standing next to the oak tree that my father and I planted!
        Lily: Mom, I'm so happy you had such a wonderful day! You know, I thought you would enjoy a day like that when I first came up with the idea six months ago... Tommy!

      • John: What are you doing at Mom and Dad's?
        Tommy: Ah. I still owe Mom a gift for last Mother's Day. So we had a whole day planned.
        John: Where are you going to take her?
        Tommy: The park.
        John: The park? What are you going to do? Buy her a popsicle and let her play on the monkey bars?
        Tommy: No, we're just going to spend the day together, like when I was a kid and we had our Mommy/Tommy time.

      • Marge: Guess what? Tommy is taking me out for my birthday.
        Tommy: No, Mom, this is for Mother's Day. Did I forget your birthday again?
        Marge: Yes, dear.
        Tommy: Oh, well, happy birthday!

      • John: Hey, Pop.
        Art: Am I glad you're here. I'm having a little trouble with that new computer you gave me... how the hell do you turn it on?

      • Miles: It's like Grandpa doesn't want to be with me anymore. He rushes me through breakfast, and he gets the check before I'm even done.
        Kate: Sweetie, could you be exaggerating just a little?
        Miles: Today I caught him throwing my bacon under the table to move things along.
        Kate: Well, you do eat a tad slow, and Grandpa can be impatient.
        Miles: No kidding. Last week when he took me to the hockey game, we left early.
        John: A lot of people leave early. To beat the traffic.
        Miles: We left after "O Canada."

    • NOTES (3)

      • Rosalind Chao is credited as playing Dr. Geisler, but no character name is ever given on-screen.

      • A clip from this episode was featured on The Ellen DeGeneres Show on November 18, 2004, with guest John Goodman.

      • Originally scheduled to air on November 3, 2004, and then November 10, 2004, and then December 1, 2004, and then November 24, 2004, and then back to December 1, 2004 -- when it finally aired.

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • John/Kate: I mean, think of the eulogy he gave for his own father when he just rewrote "Casey at the Bat." "But there is no joy in Chi Town. Mighty Leonard's heart gave out."
        The original line from Ernest Lawrence Thayer's "Casey at the Bat" is: "But there is no joy in Mudville. Mighty Casey has struck out."

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