Center of the Universe

Season 1 Episode 9

If You Love Something Leave It Alone

Aired Wednesday 9:30 PM Jan 12, 2005 on CBS



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Kate: Who knew he'd stick with it?
      John: He's growing up to be a pretty healthy kid.
      Kate: Yeah... How'd that happen?
      John: No idea.

    • Kate: Magic. Has it really come to this?
      John: It was either magic or ventriloquism, and he already has enough little wooden friends.

    • John: This is perfect, Kate. Guitar players are cool. And who knows? If he sticks with it, he could wind up in a band with other cool kids. Or at the very least, in a subway with a cup.

    • John: The problem is, we keep letting Miles pick. We know him well enough. We should be able to steer him towards something he's really good at.
      Kate: You're right. You're right. When I was a kid, my mom thought I'd be great at the piano, so she just signed me up for lessons. She forced me to practice at least an hour every day. I'd sit there, and I'd draw these pictures of her being eaten by little monsters. I hated it. Now... I love to draw.

    • Kate: Oh, honey! How'd it go?
      Miles: I don't want to talk about it. I stunk.
      John: Oh, come on. It wasn't that bad. Kate, do you have about a hundred of those little round Band Aids?
      Tommy: Hey, don't get discouraged. You know, when I was a kid, I sucked at a lot of stuff.
      John: Not that that is any way relevant to your situation.
      Tommy: But if something got too hard, you know what I did? I quit.
      Kate: And your inspirational point is?
      Tommy: That everybody has something they were born to do. And if you're patient, you're gonna find it.
      Miles: What did you find?
      Tommy: I'm not dead yet--it's coming.

    • John: Yeah, fencing. It's an Olympic sport, like sword fighting.
      Kate: Kind of like musketeers.
      Art: Please! Sword fighting is where you stab the villain through the heart. Fencing is where two French marshmallows have at each other with a couple of car antennas.

    • Art: The kid's in junior high now. He better find something to get good at. Someplace to fit in. Because, believe me, I know what happens when a kid doesn't fit in. He gets the crap kicked out of him.
      Kate: Art, were you one of those kids?
      Art: No. I kicked the crap out of them.

    • Art: Just what is his thing?
      Kate: We don't know yet. Last week he was trying to breed tropical fish.
      John: That was a hundred and fifty dollar snack for the cat.
      Kate: Before that, it was ceramics.
      John: A hundred dollars.
      Kate: Model airplanes.
      John: Seventy-five dollars. Finding out your kid sucks at everything: priceless.

    • Kevin: Hey, Milo! What's up, buddy? Hey, I got something for you. It's a football from my college. When you throw it, it whistles.
      Miles: That's awesome.
      John: You like the football?
      Miles: No, I just like stuff that whistles. Can I cut it open and see how it works?

    • Kate: Kevin, your teammates are so excited to see you. Your dad and I ran into, um, oh, God, who was it... oh, Rick and Dwayne over at the Dairy Queen.
      Kevin: Oh, really? What are they up to?
      John: Assistant managers.

    • Art: It's a hell of an honor, Kev. I remember when your dad led his team down to State. He popped the opposition quarterback so hard, the poor kid lost five teeth. They had to stop the game for the ambulance. I can still hear that kid cry. As a parent... it was the proudest moment of my life.

    • Kevin: Uncle Tommy, so you're working at my dad's security company now.
      Tommy: Yeah, but I got to get back to work. My boss is a real hard-ass. I mean, John, come on, seriously. If I'm ten minutes late, what's the worst that could happen?
      John: I don't know, Tommy. Armed robbery, home invasion?
      Tommy: Gosh, I hope not. All I have is this flashlight to defend myself.

  • Notes

    • Co-star Tim Weske, who plays the fencing instructor, also choreographed the fencing scenes and served as sword trainer.

    • Guest star Zachery Ty Bryan is credited as Zachery Bryan.

    • A clip from this episode was featured on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson on January 10, 2005, with guest John Goodman.

    • This aired out of order, and was intended to be seen before "Good Parent, Bad Parent."

    • Originally scheduled to air on November 10, 2004. CBS' November sweeps press release even noted the episode airing on that date.

  • Allusions

    • John: Hey, behind you, an Ewok!... Alright then, a Hobbit!
      Ewoks are hooded, bear-like creatures from the Star Wars films. Hobbits are creatures smaller than dwarves, from the J.R.R. Tolkien novel "The Hobbit."

    • John: Seventy-five dollars. Finding out your kid sucks at everything: priceless.
      A rip on MasterCard's Priceless Memories commercials.

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