Chappelle's Show

Season 1 Episode 2

Ep. #102

1
Aired Tuesday 10:00 PM Jan 29, 2003 on Comedy Central

Trivia

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  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Tyrone: We all know you can sneak into your momma's room, while she's sleeping, and take 5, 10 maybe 20 dollars from her purse, run on down to 3rd Street, catch the D Bus downtown, and meet a Latin American fellow name Martinez, we know that! And we know that Martinez's stuff is the bomb!

    • Tyrone: Then I upgraded to a little drug called acid. Very inexpensive and affordable, even young children could afford it. It was so bad! I did two hits of that! And Bugs Bunny and Scooby Doo and all of my favorite cartoon heroes came to my room and ate cookies with me, and sang song for 16 hours! God damn! Talking about, "Tyrooooone, don't clean up your rooooom." And Mickey Mouse was doing the bass line this, "Ba-ba-ba-booooo. Ba-ba-ba-booooo."

    • Tyrone: Kids, y'all are looking at a dead man. I should not be in front of you today! Drugs and alcohol have ruined my life. I started doing drugs when I was little, just like you. Me and my friends would go home and smoke marijuana after school. Can you say marijuana?
      Kids: Marijuana.
      Tyrone: That's what I was smokin'! Sometimes dippin them in fluids, and me and my friends would laugh and giggle, and eat all of the cookies! It was terrible! TERRIBLE!

    • Tyrone: It is truly an honor and a privelidge for me to be here at Pinehurst school or whatever your school is called today. I say it is a privelidge because it is a violation of my parole to be around children.

    • Dave as Educated Guesser: Cuz a brotha can't get enough of that ass!

    • Tyrone: We all know you can sneak into your momma's room, while she's sleeping, and take 5, 10 maybe 20 dollars from her purse.

    • Tyrone: Drugs is all around you kids. Look at that magic marker cap. What the hell you think that is, some kind of crayon? Take it off and sniff it and get high.

    • (talking about Ms. Chleo)
      Dave: I have a naggin suspicion that that b!tch ain't jamaican.

    • (Dave is passing off notecards of his thoughts to a singing white girl to recite)
      Singing White Girl: (singing) Gay sex is gross; sorry, I just think it is. (gets another card) Unless, of course, they're lesbians. (gets another card) I like lesbians. (gets another card) I like lesbians.
      Dave: For real n!gger, I like lesbians. But i digress...

    • Tyrone: That, children, was the first time I sucked a d*ck for crack.

    • Tyrone: You! (points to kid) You know what dog foods taste like, do you? It tastes just like it smells... DELICIOUS!!!

    • Tyrone: (after the speech) You welcome, teacher bitch.

    • Tyrone: That, children, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack.

      Tyrone: (after the speech)
      You welcome, teacher bitch!

    • Tyrone: You! (points to kid) You know what dog foods taste like, do you? It tastes just like it smell...DELICIOUS!!!

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Dave the Psychic

      Dave is making fun of Ms. Cleo, the woman who claimed she was psychic and offere dher hotline and had a jamican accent which everyone says is fake.

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