Charles in Charge

Ellen: Well, don't you think you should read upstairs? Sarah: Well, I guess if Oscar Wilde can come out of the closet so can I.

Charles: Buddy, remember that guy you met earlier today, Lt. Whitford? Buddy: Oh, yeah, nice guy tall, good looking, warm smile. Charles: He's trying to seduce Mrs. Powell. Buddy: Cruel mouthed, beady little pig eyes.

Walter: You bite your tongue, I've known that boy for years, he's decent and honorable what else could he be he's navy. Charles: Sir, we're not dealing with John Paul Jones we're dealing with Long John Silver.

Charles: You're going to do it aren't you? You're going to let your daughter-in-law spend the night with Sinbad the sex maniac.

Jamie: This is scary, they sound like wounded backup singers.

Ellen: Are you alright? Charles: Hello, Mrs. Powell? Excuse me I've gotta die now. Ellen: Charles, what is it? Charles: Have you seen the movie "Alien"?

Walter: What do you think? Fantastic! No, stupendous, colossal! Charles: I was thinking of a four letter word. Walter: You mean good.

Ellen: Fiji Stew! I thought Charles was making gourmet seafood supreme. Walter: Well, we combined our ingredients that's the great thing about Fiji stew, you can throw in anything with fins, claws or flippers. Charles: Yeah, it's sort of like swimming the English Channel with your mouth open.

Matt: Last time I saw you, you were in diapers. Jamie: No, that must've been my sister Sarah.

Ellen: Adam, what are you doing in the fireplace? Adam: Waiting for Santa.