Charles in Charge

Stan: She's telling me she's expecting a guest? Jill: No? Stan: If you'll excuse me I'm going in the kitchen now to talk to my mommy.

(Lila wants to go out on her first date) Jill: But she's going to be here for three weeks, what's one night? Stan: 5%

Charles and Buddy: (singing) Tis' the Season to be jolly, fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Buddy's here and so is Charlie, fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Gwendolyn: Merry Christmas, Buddy. (she then kisses Buddy) Buddy: Gwendolyn, now what am I going to get you? Gwendolyn: I don't want to know.

Jason: Who am I supposed to shoot baskets with? Charles: How about your brother? Jason: Ohh!

Gweondolyn: Oh, what a beautiful tree. Charles: Oh, you didn't have to buy presents. Lia, Jason and Douglas: Yes, she did.

Irene: It goes like this: one loop over, one loop under, laces tied, tight as thunder.

Jill: You think after 16 years, a visit from Stan's mother would have no effect, I mean what sense does it make that a wonderful, sweet lady from Indiana should make me get so—Charles, what is that all over your sweater? Charles: Spots! Jill: Well, get rid of them