Judge Not Lest Ye Beheaded

Season 5, Episode 6, Aired

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Charles(Scott Baio)learns from Buddy(Willie Aames)that he is to be a judge in a beauty pageant at his mother Lillian's(Ellen Travolta)diner, when his girlfriend Valerie(Darlene Vogel)decides to enter the contest it gets Charles very nervous, when his other girlfriend Wendy(Tiffany Salerno)enters the contest as well, Charles thinks of a way to choose between Valerie and Wendy, Adam(Alexander Polinsky) blackmails Charles, he also learns that Buddy and Professor Berger(Joe Mays)are the other judges. Jamie(Nicole Eggert)decides to enter the contest thinking that Charles would vote for her, Sarah(Josie Davis)enters as well to blast male chauvinism but changes her mind when people came up to her and told her how beautiful she was something besides her intellect. Valerie and Wendy meet with Charles and tell him that not only do we have something in common but the same boyfriend, they throw spaghetti on him and walk out, Buddy has some more good news he signed him and Charles up to be judges at the Miss New Brunswick Pageant.moreless
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    • QUOTES (9)

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      • Buddy: You and I are gonna be the judges in the Miss New Brunswick beauty pageant? Charles: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Now, I'd run after him but my legs are stuck together.

      • Walter: You could've voted for one of my grandchildren. Charles: Sir, I know I could've but which one? Walter: Oh, I see what you mean, you did the right thing Charles, now they'll hate you, I can live with that.

      • Sarah: I've just entered the stupid beauty contest to blow the top off of it. Adam: Great, I love a topless beauty contest.

      • Adam: I wanna apologize, I should never even asked for 50 bucks, your like family Charles. Charles: Thanks Adam. Adam: And your in luck because this week I am running a family special, for the low-low price of 39.95 I will keep your life from becoming a living nightmare.

      • Charles: Great, Great, Now I got two girlfriends in the contest, Buddy I can't win. Buddy: Of course you can't, you can't even enter the contest is for girls only.

      • Jamie: Charles, I've turned this house upside down looking for my math book? Have you seen it? Charles: No, but I'm surprised that your looking for it.

      • Adam: Well, are you gonna do the right thing or what? Charles: Well, I'm trying to do the right thing Adam, I just have to treat each woman with the courtesy and the respect that she deserves. Adam: I don't care about your bimbo problems?

      • Lillian: Sweetheart, do you really think I'm making a big mistake in having the beauty contest here. Charles: Yeah, Mom I do? Lillian: Well, if you feel that strongly about it, go over and tell those girls filling out their applications that the contest is off. Charles: Gladly, excuse me, excuse me ladies I have something to say, welcome to our beauty pageant my name is Charles and I'll be one of the judges.

      • Charles: No, No, way Buddy are you kidding me, if Wendy and Valerie find out I'm judging a beauty contest they'd kill me. Buddy: So what? 20 beautiful women is worth a little death.

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