Charles in Charge Season 1 Episode 16

Stan: Jill, what do you have in here? We're only going away for a week.
Jill: Just my bathing suit and the usual potpourri.
Stan: What is that French for bricks?

Charles: I'm taking Mr. Pembroke's mother to the lamplight
Buddy: Charles, I'm all fore going out with older women, but choosing a grandmother over a stewardess, tsk, tsk, tsk.

Douglas: You sure you don't want to buy a candy bar before you leave?
Stan: Okay, Douglas, I'll take one.
Douglas: That'll be a dollar?
Stan: I've only got a 10.
Douglas: That makes you my best customer.

Gwendolyn: Charles, have you noticed the lines?
Charles: By your eyes
Gwendolyn: What lines by my eyes?

Irene: I didn't recognize you without your mask?
Douglas: I don't wear it all the time, it makes the neighbors nervous.

Jason: A boy my age shouldn't be sweeping kitchens, he should be learning and playing and going on vacation with his parents.
Jill: Honey, this isn't a vacation? It's a business trip.
Jason: To Jamaica? I get A's in geography Mom I know what the weather is like down there.

Irene: Charles, I have something in this envelope that could make your life easier than you ever imagined.
Charles: You have the answers to my next week's chemistry test.

Jason: (to the plant on the table) Alright, you herbivorous hombre, put up your leaves and keep them up, Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! Aah! You got me, you sidewinding weed.

Irene: You know I don't think you realize what we have here, this could be the next fast food craze, it could be bigger the McNuggets, bigger than McWeenies, bigger than Mc...anything

Douglas: Wanna come with me Jason, it'll be fun.
Jason: How could selling candy be fun?
Douglas: You can help me make up names for people who slam doors in my face.

Lila: What are you cooking?
Charles: Fried chicken.
Lila: You're frying chicken?
Charles: No, I'm buying chicken.

Irene: Was he always this good a salesman?
Jason: This is nothing, wait until he makes you think taking out the garbage is fun.

Jill: Alone for a week with no children! Heaven!
Stan: (Jamaican Accent) We are going to "de islands" man.