Charles in Charge

Walter: Well, we certainly have learned a lesson out of this huh, Charles? Charles: Yes, Sir honesty is the best policy. Walter: No, No, never date a woman til you've checked out her grandchildren.

Gloria: In August of 1944 I met, I fell in love with and married Buddy's late Grandfather. Buddy: You married my late Grandfather in August of '44, then he wasn't late at all he was right on time.

Buddy: Then it's true, Grandma how could you? Gloria: Well, I couldn't today, but I was in much better condition back then.

Walter: Ah, Lembeck, you are here? Buddy: Hi,! Walter: You kiss me again I swear I'll deck you.

Charles: They were just young carefree kids frolicking on the beach. Buddy: Your picturing Frankie and Annette, I'm looking at two wet seals.

Sarah: Isn't she beautiful? Charles: Yeah, she's got her mother's eyes. Buddy: And her father's yolk.

Sarah: Charles, would you help us with our eggs? Charles: Yeah, sure what do you want me to do? burp them, diaper them, scramble their little bottoms.

Jamie: I love babies! I even like health class! But how can you think of an egg as your child? Buddy: Hens do it all the time.

Jamie: Can you imagine having a baby at 14? I am not ready for this kind of responsibility. Ellen: Jamie, if this is a joke I'll kill you, and if it's not a joke I'll kill you.

Walter: What if I told you I just ran into a woman I knew intimately over 40 years ago and she said I haven't changed a bit. Buddy: I'd say you were in great shape today or you were in lousy shape 40 years ago.

Buddy: I can't believe it, you got Maryanne Murdock to come to my birthday party! What a great present? Charles: Yeah, first I thought about buying you a wrist watch, then I figured I get you something you can use.