300-year-old Captain Black Jack Cutting and his pirate crew are kidnapping witches with the help of some mystical fog. Plus, Inspector Sheridan, the police officer who's especially suspicious of the sisters, may have a new ally.
Paige is peeved that some kid at Magic School called her "ma'am." She's not old enough to be a ma'am yet, is she?
Phoebe gets sucked into a publicity-stunt "date" with Leslie. She denies that it means anything.
Piper is still trying to get Leo to let go of the past. She urges him to contact the Elders to see if he can get something to keep him busy.
Leo is still freaked out by the Scary Glowing Head of Doom. He's afraid the Elders know everything, and thinks he may be a danger to his children.
The Elders ask Leo and the sisters to look into a spate of disappearing witches. It's too late to scry for them, so the sisters decide to get sneaky. Darryl and Sheridan are blatantly staking out the house, so Piper brings the breakfast, then freezes Sheridan while she pumps Darryl for information. Paige checks out a witch who hasn't officially been reported missing yet and finds some pirate gold. When she orbs down to the pirates' lair, she discovers it's a trap. She gets nicked by a cursed dagger the pirate captain uses, but escapes. Meanwhile, Sheridan managed to get a blood sample from the Manor, and she's sent it off to the Feds. The Feds get back to her in the person of Agent Brody from Homeland Security. He knows the sisters are witches, and he's determined to track them down.
Leo heals Paige's minor wound, but she's still a little woozy. There's no information about pirates in the Book of Shadows, so the sisters go to magic school for more reference material. Phoebe has a better idea - she decides to quiz a movie critic about every pirate movie ever made. Leslie swoops in - he knows way more about pirate movies! Phoebe is all aflutter. At Magic School, Paige has trouble seeing, then hearing, then holding things. Phoebe and Piper find the lair, and find the missing witch - who has aged mysteriously. She dies. They find a similarly aged Paige back at Magic School. They bring her back to Leo, but he can't heal her. Back at Pirate Central, Phoebe shows off her pirate knowledge until Captain Jack appears and demands the sisters call forth the Fountain of Youth.
First, the sisters need to steal a golden chalice from a museum. They do, but trip an alarm while taking it. Sheridan, Darryl and Brody are watching them. Sheridan wants to take them down for stealing, but Brody wants evidence of magic. The sisters go back to Pirate Central and restart the Fountain. Captain Jack is young again, and he orders the sisters killed. Aha! Says Phoebe. He broke a pirate's oath, so the crew is no longer bound to him. Apparently they've been none to pleased about being walking dead for the past 300 years, so they kill him. All the pirates dissolve into dust. Piper blows up the Fountain of Youth to remove the temptation, but saves a bit to restore Paige to her youthful self. Sheridan sees the magic and tries to arrest them, but Brody knocks her out with a tranquilizer dart. Now the sisters owe him.
Paige is healed, and she resolves not to complain about being old until she actually is old. Phoebe apologizes to Leslie for standing him up on their publicity date (she was busy robbing a museum at the time) and spars with him over who likes who. They end up jumping each other. Piper is thrilled Leo kept it together enough to watch the kids. She's surprised by an Elder, who tells her not to give up on Leo - they'll need his help for the gathering storm.